The Press-Dispatch
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/1465137
The Press-Dispatch Wednesday, April 20, 2022 C-3 SATURDAY, APRIL 23 • 10am EDT at the Auction Barn – 2667 E. CR 400 S., Winslow Auction pick-up available! KALEB CLARIDGE AU11700062 Follow on Auctionzip.com • ID# 46613 • AUCTION Call Today to schedule your auction! No Buyer's Premium. THIS WILL BE A LARGE AUCTION! We have an estate coming out of Hazleton with items for everyone! Featuring antiques, collectibles, very early Civil War pictures, tin types and other early photos, glassware, early Civil War era bottle, nice tools, Cub Cadet mower, large baseball card collection rookie cards, sets, star cards, vintage cards from 60s, graded cards, several HOF autographs, all types old sport programs, early baseball pictures, 75+ pieces of furniture, household items, Star Wars cards, outdoor items and much more! HAZLETON ESTATE Chanley wins 8th district VOD Pike Central's Peyton Chanley received his blue ribbon, certificate and $300 in Evansville, from Veterans of Foreign Wars 8th District Command- er Jim Dexter for his winning Voice Of Democra- cy entry. Petersburg VFW Commander Chris Kin- man presented Chanley with the post certificate and $200 prior to his district win. Peyton won the local contest and went on to win the 8th District which includes 13 VFW posts in Southern Indiana. The largest of the 13 8th District VFW posts are: Jasper, Evansville (2), Corydon, Charlestown, New Albany (2), Tell City and Boonville. Kindergarten classes at Winslow Elementary perform for their fellow classmates, on Thursday, to the tune 'Elephants and Wrinkles." WINSLOW ELEMENTARY SPRING CONCERT Katie Halter, Travis Barrett, Adalynn Martin, Breena Allen, Adi Lemond and Zo- ey Lemond perform during the Spring concert, held at Winslow Elementary. Second grade classes performed 'I Want to go Outside,' during their Spring Con- cert at Winslow Elementary. The first, third and fifth grade students performed at Christmas, while the kindergarten, second and fourth graders performed for the Spring concert. Fourth grade students sing 'Forward,' during Thursday's day performance for other students at Winslow Elementary. An evening concert was held for family to attend. Progresstination. I accidentally uttered this recently while trying to say "procrastination." It was a Freudian slip, less a regressive childhood parapraxis and more a trauma related to the Internal Revenue Service, as one has. However, this slip revealed an abiding truth. See, paying taxes puts the fun in func- tional society, and I've never missed a deadline. That does not mean, under any circumstances, I've ever filed ear- ly. On time and early are totally differ- ent things. Does this sound like you? Come, kin, rally around. Tax Day was April 18 this year, three days late due to Emancipation Day in the District of Columbia. Last year, the pan- demic drew out Tax Day to May 17, which was like Christmas for procrastin... pro- gresstinators. "Wouldn't you rather get it out of the way? " a responsible, punctual person might ask. "Get your return early? Have more time to pay? Move on, heal? " Definitely not. To quote tax collector Friedrich Nietzsche, "Is life not a thou- sand times too short for us to bore our- selves? " No one is guaranteed tomorrow. If I don't make it, that's not great, but it also means I will have gotten out of do- ing taxes. Whose strategy sounds bet- ter now? Progresstination, though, is pointless progress. It's a way to feel like a produc- tive member of civilization, completing little tasks ad- jacent to taxes without ac- tually doing taxes. Apply this philosophy liberally to cleaning bathrooms, re- newing government iden- tifications and having dif- ficult personal discussions that include I-statements such as, "When you do _ _, it makes me feel _ _." For example: Identify tax documents in the kitchen stack of mail sorted as "important." That stack has slumped into the pile that's "un- important, but probably good to shred be- cause of identity theft." That has in turn slumped into "unimportant, can go in re- cycling bin" — a bin, which, unbelievably, is just steps away from this pile, and yet. This special pile includes catalogs for Vi- king River Cruises and expensive puffer vests one might wear in a canoe. There. Having secured all vital tax forms, move them somewhere more of- ficial such as an end table, a decorative chair or one of 40 empty filing folders you bought at Office Depot when you decid- ed to get organized in 2012. That was a cute day. Visit the website for your preferred tax software. Test your user-name, PIN number and password. It has 17 letters, four non-consecutive num- bers and a special character (excluding question marks, too on the nose). Failing log- in, close the window. To quote IRS commissioner Don Drap- er, "Think about it. Deeply. Then forget it." Read several articles titled "What to know for Tax Day" and initiate panic over capi- tal gains, dividends, interest, home of- fice expenses, 1099 forms and alleged let- ters regarding advance child tax credits and stimulus payments. Go back to the mail pile, which somehow now contains a new catalog of stylish polyester pants for women of a certain age. Take a break for snacks! Lastly, set intentions. Identify a time you will do your taxes. Set up a reward for yourself, other than the intrinsic one that comes with doing a civic duty at the last possible second. State it boldly: "I in- tend to do my taxes after the Target run, but before eating an entire pint of Chub- by Hubby." I am so proud of you. Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her at @ stephhayes on Twitter or @ stephrhayes on Instagram. My So Called Millennial Life By Stephanie Hayes A last-minute guide for pro procrastinators