The South Gibson Star-Times serves the towns of Haubstadt, Owensville and Fort Branch.
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/1481456
Local Tuesday, October 11, 2022 South Gibson Star-Times A-7 youth First By Ashley Hale Developing a positive self-image for teens "Nobody likes me." "I hate school." "Something is wrong with me." "I don't care about anything." As a school social worker, these are common sentiments I hear when talking with students. I think it is safe to say we all sometimes struggle with negative thoughts, but these thoughts are becoming more prevalent in our homes and schools, especially with teens. The teen years can be diffi- cult, as a lot changes, new responsibilities and expec- tations emerge. Helping our teens navigate these changes and emotions is challenging, but vital. How can we positively influ- ence how teens feel about themselves without so much push-back? It's important to understand that teens desire privacy, space, and indepen- dence as a normal part of their development. This makes it more challenging for parents and caregivers to get them to open up to have genuine conversations. Here are some tips to help facilitate meaningful conver- sations with your teen and promote a positive self-image: Be authentic. Teens can detect when someone is not being authentic, and this is the key to creating the respect and rapport necessary to build a positive relationship. I highly encourage you to learn about the teenage brain. This will help you gain insight into their thought processes and empa- thize with their experiences. Let them know you care by listening. Sometimes we worry so much about what we are going to say that we forget to open our ears. Listen to your teen while also show- ing positive regard. Be pres- ent in conversations and follow through with your commit- ments. Put your phone down, nod, and make eye contact. Most teens are more likely to share when they feel less pres- sure for details and are more in control of the conversation. Watch their mood and body language. Verbalize that you can see this is a hard situation for them. Let them know they don't have to explain every- thing right now, but you are there for them when they're ready. Tell them you love them and show physical affec- tion with hugs if they are okay with that. Ask them what they need. Most often, teens don't want a lecture, they want to be heard. Active listening will open the door. Ask them regularly about their day with specific questions that you change up. Examples: "What was the hardest part of your day? " "What is your favorite class right now and why? " Point out specific skills and strengths. Focus more on providing praise than criticism. Don't avoid the hard conversations. Conversa- tions about sexual health, gender, relationships, consent, drugs and alcohol, and other challenging conversations are hard, but they are essential. Take a deep breath before you respond. It's not uncom- mon for the things teens share with you to trigger worry, anxiety, and the desire to fix it for them. This often causes us to over-respond. Respond- ing with a lecture is likely to shut the conversation down. Note your internal thoughts, take a deep breath, and think about what you needed when you were their age. It is okay to say something like, "I love you. I don't quite understand this right now, but we can figure it out together. What can I do to help right now? " Remember, teens will make mistakes. It's how they learn. Talking to teens can be chal- lenging and takes a lot of patience, but it is worth the effort. You will build a strong rapport and will help them create a positive self-image during the process. Ashley Hale, LCSW, is a Youth First Social Worker at Washington High School. I stood in the dressing room staring down a six-button labyrinth, wondering what had happened to jeans as a concept. Had we come this far, and yet, not far at all? Was this 2022? 1992? Or, more accurately, 1942? Were we caught in a denim feedback loop? You know the button fly I'm talking about. Before the prolifera- tion of zippers, a row of buttons was simply a functional necessity. Still, despite mankind's many technological advances, the fashion Gargamels peri- odically revert to button-fly jeans as a trend. Button-fly jeans are a special kind of hell, with tiny, covert crevices sliced into an inch-wide channel of denim. Securing the bottom button is like winning "Amer- ican Ninja Warrior." The buttons must slide perfectly into the hidden pockets at the exact right angle, chin pressed to chest, shirt all bunched around the armpits, a line of four impatient ladies waiting outside the stall. I am telling you: this is not the kind of manual dexterity test I need at a Red Robin! So, those were out. I was in Old Navy, America's most deranged carnival of denim. The sheer variety of jeans in Old Navy is stagger- ing, overwhelming, sometimes disheart- ening. It's like the designers are trying to see what they can get away with. On this trip, I witnessed a style called Extra High-Rise Balloon Ankle jeans, which look exactly as described. Are we supposed to look good anymore? What is good? Have I simply conflated the notion of "good" with "skinny" because I was raised by my mother, Paris Hilton? Am I getting hives? A few months ago, I endeavored to do the impossible: Update my jeans style due to societal pressure. I ordered a pair of Old Navy Mid-Rise Boyfriend Straight jeans online. They had a higher waist, a lighter wash and a baggier shape than my geriatric millennial skinny jeans. Because of, I guess, body dysmorphia, I ordered them way too large. My stepdaughter assured me they were extremely cool. My husband politely suggested I tie a shoestring around the two back belt loops, which... I mean... I haven't worked this hard in life to become someone loping around in strange, pear- shaped, ripped-knee jeans with a shoelace holding up the backside. However, these giant jeans were comfort- able. Really comfort- able. More comfort- able than any jeans I've ever worn, which is the intent of jeans? They have "boyfriend" in the name, after all, a subliminal signifier of looseness, ease, respite from the shrink-wrapped torture devices many women have squeezed into since the dawn of the sun. Boyfriends: they get to be comfortable and no one else. The giant boyfriend jeans quickly became a stand-in for sweatpants around the house. I wore them in public on a few occasions, tugging at the waistband the entire time and feeling, well, hideous. It's hard to welcome anything new when toxic fashion is ingrained in your amyg- dala. I graduated high school in 2001, a perilous time for jeans. We're talking painted on, shoe-gobbling, too low-rise to sit. It was a sick time to be a girl, really, the tabloid era. The emergence of dark, high-rise skinny jeans in the 2010s felt like a gentle hug for both our self-loath- ing and lower abdomens. A looser jeans aesthetic should be a welcome trend for those of us still mentally imprisoned inside a Perez Hilton blog post, no? Why is the jour- ney so loaded? Last week, I shared a tweet from Carlye Wisel that made me laugh: "Elder millennials: brace yourselves for what's about to come." Wide-leg, zip-off jeans with cargo pockets! I was sweating. My colleague Christopher Spata chimed in with some- thing I'd never even considered: the idea of giving up. "This is why I've made the difficult but empowering choice of opting out of jeans," he said. "The garment that is supposed to be the most casual is with each passing cycle more a high-wire act of 'pulling it off'." He pointed to a 2021 Dave Schilling piece in the Los Angeles Times, position- ing denim as a time capsule, a marker of personality and social station. Schilling found Northeast L A residents who won't give up skinny jeans and other "accoutre- ments of the bygone Obama era." "Maybe that's why I haven't both- ered with jeans in so long," he writes. "They're too tied up in generational angst. The minute I commit to a pair, I've committed to an idea." That feels true, and because it feels true, it stings. Who are we now? Who am I? A fter living through a pandemic, after changing nearly everything about my routine and how I live, how do I want to look and dress? Is comfort and practi- cality more important than a pretense of being alluring? And just who am I luring, anyway? My dog loves me as I am. Maybe the boyfriend jeans are a form of opting out, in the end. Maybe the younger generation has found a way to express a casual point of view with- out oversexualizing everything, with- out sacrificing comfort, without need- ing three friends to extract them from pants at the night's end. Yeah! Good theory! Back to Old Navy we go. The boyfriend jeans fit, no shoe- string needed. Still comfortable! Still ugly! I added a black and white cropped flannel shirt, because flannels are in style for fall along with their 1990s breth- ren, cursed button-fly jeans. I appeared... spoiler alert for the "Dexter" series finale from 2013... I looked like a woodsman. I looked like Dexter after he fakes his death and vanishes to a snowy hill in Oregon. These two items must never be worn together, no matter how much TikTok tells me otherwise. Still, I liked both pieces separately, so I got them. I will figure it out. And I picked up a pair of Mid-Rise Power Slim Straight jeans, which the sign billed as a cross between a skinny and straight leg. This sign was specifically for me, folks. This sign was for 39 -year-olds staring down a vibe shift and looking back wist- fully toward Tara Reid, toward a party for Belvedere vodka, toward a swag bag with a Nokia flip phone inside. Compromise? No time like now. Nix on the button fly, though. On that, I'm standing firm. Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. My So called Millennial Life By Stephanie Hayes Is this the end of jeans? Lyons charged with OVWI, possession of meth Jason Lyons, 46, of Dale, was charged with posses- sion of methamphetamine, possession of paraphernalia and operating a vehicle while intoxicated in Princeton Oct. 6. According to the probable cause affidavit, the vehicle had left on it's turn signal and appeared to be attempting an illegal u-turn, then switched the turn signal from left to right before parking at the Princeton Rural King. During the traffic stop, police said Lyons appeared jittery and fatigued. Police asked when the last time Lyons smoked meth was, and he said six to seven hours prior, according to the proba- ble cause. According to the affidavit, Lyons failed sobriety tests, after which police found meth and paraphernalia in the console. Duke donates shelter Duke Energy contributed $20,000 to the city of Princ- eton to construct an open- air shelter at Lincoln Park. The shelter will provide local residents on the east side of the city with an area for parties, family reunions and other events. Once constructed, the structure will stand 36 feet wide and 36 feet long. "Duke Energy proves once again they are a valu- able community partner by helping with our commu- nity vision of an all-inclu- sive structure at Lincoln Park," said Greg Wright, mayor of Princeton. "Coun- cilman Jan Ballard has been passionate about this project for his neighborhood with a goal of it being completed by late 2022. The city of Princ- eton truly appreciates Duke Energy's contributions, as well as their offer of volun- teer workdays. They truly are good neighbors! " The new shelter will sit on the former site of Lincoln High School, a once-seg- regated school that was decommissioned and torn down in the early 1970s. Lincoln High School exclu- sively provided education for A frican American students for nearly 50 years. Several notable A frican American alumni received diplomas from Lincoln High School before the school inte- grated in 1950 and was tran- sitioned into Riley Elemen- tary School. The building eventually became obsolete and was decommissioned in 1971. The structure was torn down shortly thereafter, and the land was donated to the city of Princeton for park expansion. "Duke Energy strives to be a good neighbor in the communities we serve," said Kurt Phegley, government and community relations manager at Duke Energy. "This project aims to foster what community is really all about – providing a venue for friends, families and neigh- bors to gather and celebrate, while also paying tribute to our history." Boy Scout popcorn sales Local Weebelo Keegan Fulkey sold Boy Scout popcorn Saturday at Dewig Meats in Haubstadt. Kurt Phegley, left, on behalf of Duke Energy, pre- sented Princeton Mayor Greg Wright with a check for $20,000 to build an open-air shelterhouse at Lincoln Park in Princeton. Alechia Memmer portrays a new-minted sol- dier against aliens in War of the Worlds. The show continues this weekend at Princeton Theater and Community Center with tickets on sale at a cost of $13-15. Justin Smith performed in War of the Worlds over the weekend. Shows continue at 7 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and at 2 p.m. Sunday at Princeton Theatre and Community Center. WAR OF THE WORLDS