The O-town Scene - Oneonta, NY
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/20734
Holiday tips for keeping the season gay and bright The holiday season can be a time of tremen- dous stress for gay men and women as the social aspects of the holidays can cause some intense emotional upheavals. However, part of the magic of any holiday means spending time with the ones you love. In doing this, you should be respectful of your friends and family’s attitudes towards gay people. Find a happy medium between spending time with friends and family, and spending those special moments with the one you love (or kind of like if you’re single). Here are some light-hearted (if not silly) tips that will help you make sure your holiday sea- son remains gay and bright: Put your foot down with friends and family. While they may not agree with gay issues, your gay lifestyle, etc., that is no reason for them to be outright rude and hostile towards you or your significant other. Tell your friends and family of your expectations and toleration level up front. If they exceed this level, then leave the situation. If you are bringing your boyfriend home for the first time, and you are anxious for your family to believe you’re the “man” in the relationship, refrain from referring to your partner’s sexual proclivities as you walk in the front door. Opening with the introduction: “This is Jeffrey. He’s a role-playing power bottom” will not win points with Grams. Pulling out the joke “Big things come in small packages” while you’re exchanging presents during the holidays only makes you look small … in many ways. If you say it to or in front of your boyfriend, you can forget about any “pack- ages” coming your way until at least Easter. No matter what it takes, and no matter how many times you’ve talked about your obvi- ously closeted cousin Angela’s mannish ways, do NOT refer to her as Mangela to her face – even if it’s just to ask her to pass the potatoes. Finally, if you are staying overnight at your boyfriend’s parents’ house – or at your own parents’ – and they ask you to sleep in separate rooms, keep yourself from getting indignant and snapping back with: “Fine! He’s a screamer anyway, and we don’t want to wake up the whole house.” Remember, you’ll have to see these people in the morning (and the rest of your life). Lastly, make sure to enjoy your holiday season, it comes but once a year. Happy Holidays! Matthew Young is a gay 29-year-old Canadian living in Lethbridge, Alberta, and has written for diverse publications for eight years. He is especially proud of the work he has submitted to Gossip Guy at www.gos- sipguyxo.wordpress.com. Keep Up Now Today, I learned yet another lesson about unconditional love. As we yearn to connect with other people, we quickly fall into fear. We worry about being judged and admired. Let’s add others’ expectations; are you be- ing attentive and providing them with enough of what they feel they are lacking? Rest assured if you aren’t, they will let you know. Have you ever been afraid you aren’t good enough just the way you are? Most of us have to answer “yes.” At some point in our lives, we were judged by a peer, a loved one or even a stranger, and were found not wor- thy. How did you react? Did you modify yourself? Have you learned how to become more likeable, more loveable? Here again, you have a choice: love or fear? It’s healthy to look upon your- self with love, go inside and make modifications that reveal a more loving and happier self. In turn, these modifications reflect a radiant being. You become a magnet and a beacon to all who witness you. On the flip side, there is fear. Fear-based modifica- tions make you lose sight of yourself, sacrifice who you are, and no longer reflect your authentic self. When you change who you are solely to get some- thing from someone else _ love, approval, money _ this downward spiral alienates you further from your brothers and yourself. You become unappealing and unloving, worsening the situation. You are love. You are perfect. You have simply forgotten who you are. You tried to become what you thought everyone else wanted you to be. They projected their fears onto you and you accepted them as your own. “Keep up with the stream of higher consciousness and stay connected to the Source.” _ Terry Ludwig “Has someone said you were truly special? It’s not by chance we recognize each other in our travels. My mother once said, ‘So that you know, you are not like the others.’ I knew that then, but as I grew, harsh reality unfolded, and pain I found, known now as fear; the common thread among us here. So I was one, just like the rest, apart from none. That would test my life’s long lesson: Who am I? I cried unto the heavens, and in reply I recognized my creator’s lullaby. You are mine, all that I have I will set before you. Trust, my son, my will be done, in love I shall surround you.” – Rob Ludwig Terry Ludwig’s brother, Rob, passed away in 2004 after battling AIDS. Before he passed, he shared his message. “Keep Up Now!” is the result of that commu- nication. Like us, digitally. We’re on Facebook at O-Town Scene 28 O-Town Scene Dec. 2, 2010 the Diversity Scene Dec. 2-8