The Press-Dispatch
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/1143439
C-4 Wednesday, July 17, 2019 The Press-Dispatch HOME LIFE TO ADVERTISE: Call: 812-354-8500 Email: ads@pressdispatch.net Visit: 820 E. Poplar Street, Petersburg Deadline: 5 p.m. on Monday Youth First Today by Aisha Givens, Youth First, Inc. Katiedid vs... by Katiedid Langrock Word bracelets Blended families HOMES 814 NIBLACK BLVD., VINCENNES • 1-800-743-7004 • WWW.BAIRDVINCENNES.COM HURRY on DOWN! DEALS LIKE THIS DON'T LAST LONG! SAVE $20,000 Plus Oh, say can you see, Baird Homes is for you and me! Beautiful home that has two master suites, along with another bedroom and bathroom. Complemented by a large living room, dining room, kitchen and laundry room. SURPRISINGLY LARGE HOME! Perfect for the couple who have an elderly parent or older child living with them. Over $60,000 in options for this home! EASY WHITE CHOCOLATE PARTY MIX MEALS IN Monica's MINUTES Share your favorite recipe! www.facebook.com/mealsinminutes Monica's Meals in Minutes PO Box 68, Petersburg, IN 47567 mealsinminutes@pressdispatch.net FACEBOOK MAIL EMAIL By Monica Sinclair Since it is still summer vaca- tion, you might think about hav- ing a movie night with your kids, if you don't do this already. Of course, if you are watching a movie, you need something to snack on. How much fun would it be to have the kids help make the snack? I found the perfect easy recipe for you this week. So, pick out the perfect movie, throw together this snack and enjoy! INGREDIENTS • 16 cups popped popcorn • 3 cups Frosted Cheerios • 1 package (10 ounces) fat-free pretzel sticks • 2 cups milk chocolate M&M's (about 12 ounc- es) • 1-1/2 cups pecan halves • 1 package (8 ounces) milk chocolate English toffee bits or brickle toffee bits • 2 packages (10 to 12 ounces each) white bak- ing chips • 2 tablespoons canola oil DIRECTIONS 1. In a large bowl, combine the first six ingredients. In a microwave or heavy saucepan over low heat, melt baking chips with oil; stir until smooth. 2. Pour over popcorn mixture and toss to coat. Im- mediately spread onto two baking sheets; let stand until set, about 2 hours. Store in airtight containers. Source: tasteof home.com Blended families or step-families are more common than ever. These fami- lies form when two partners make a life together with children from previous relationships. When families blend, it is rarely a smooth or easy process. These new families often form after a death, divorce or separation of the birth parents. The transition to a new family unit can be very confusing and uncomfortable for children. Children may feel they must choose between loving their original family or loving their new blended family. They may feel they will hurt someone's feel- ings if they love someone new. They may be worried about how their rela- tionships with their natural parents will change or how their relationships with their new parent and siblings will evolve. Blending families creates a new dy- namic, one where every person must find their role. Trying to replicate your first family can set you all up for confu- sion and disappointment. Instead, em- brace your new family with the respect it deserves and allow for change and new growth. The following are ways to build a stronger blended family and help chil- dren heal from the grief, disappoint- ment, and resentment that can result from the loss or separation of their bi- ological parents: • Positive Reinforcement: Give encouragement and praise to children often. Find ways to make them feel ap- preciated and valued. • Love: Give them positive atten- tion and show them they are loved every day. • Safety and Security: The chil- dren may have had at least one family fall apart or one parent leave or die, so they need to feel very safe and secure in this new family. • Expectations and Boundaries: Talk to your new partner about parent- ing styles before your family blends. It's best for the new parent to ease in- to a role of authority, but it is very im- portant that both parents agree on how to parent all of the children before sit- uations arise. • Patience: Children deal with a wide range of feelings during the tran- sition into a new family. It is important to remember that any new bad behav- iors may be a result of their confus- ing emotions. Love and patience are necessary. • Communication: Give children your undivided attention as often as possible. Prompt them to talk about their feelings and let them know they can be honest with you. Open commu- nication with your children can be the best thing for all of you. • New Experiences: Create new memories as you experience new ac- tivities together. Take family trips, go on picnics, have game nights, paint to- gether. Find things to do that you will all enjoy and make new, happy mem- ories for the children. Take photos of your new blended family to hang in your home. • Family Meetings: As you are all adjusting to the new family unit, it is a great idea to hold regular family meet- ings and let each person speak their truth without being judged. This can be a time to talk about rules, feelings, events, or absolutely anything. • Respect: It is impossible to force all family members to like one anoth- er, but you can insist that everyone re- spect each other. • Limit Expectations: You may feel that you give a lot of time, ener- gy, love and attention to your partner's children and get very little in return immediately. Think of it as an invest- ment that will yield a great return one day. You could do all of the right things and the children may still reject the new parents and resent your new fam- ily, but if you are consistent and genu- ine, it will allow the children to know you are sincere. This column is written by Aisha Giv- ens, LSW, school social worker for Youth First, Inc., a local nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides 55 Master's level social workers to 76 schools in 10 Indiana counties. Over 38,500 youth and fami- lies per year have access to Youth First's school social work and after-school pro- grams that prevent substance abuse, pro- mote healthy behaviors, and maximize student success. I bought myself beaded bracelets — three, to be exact. Each has its own say- ing, up to 12 characters, of my choosing. I've been doing a lot of self-work lately. I'm guessing it comes with this chapter of life — when you see how you show up as a parent, as a partner, as a friend and for yourself and you want to do better. But ev- ery once in a while, you need a visual re- minder. At least I do. So my first bracelet says, "Be Better." The next says, "Pause" — which, for me, is essentially the same as saying to take a deep breath before you act. And the last bracelet says, "Stand In Joy." I could have saved a lot of money if I had just bought the trio of pre-made bracelets that had "Breathe, Achieve, Choose Hap- py" on them, because they are essentially the same thing. Most of the jewelry I have found doesn't let you create your own sayings, because the makers have nailed down what most people want to live by: "Faith Hope Love," "Full of Wonder," "So Loved," "Goodness Grace." But those words don't resonate with me. I need to physically "Pause" and emo- tionally stop. I don't need to choose happy; I need to stand in the joy I'm surrounded by and notice it. Relish in it. Participate in it. These are tiny differences, but when it came to my visual cues, it had to be words that worked for me. And sometimes they really do work. Not always but sometimes. In fact, some- times they work so well that I have ques- tioned why all of the self-help guru jewelry of the world — a quadrillion-dollar indus- try, no doubt — focuses solely on abstract personal improvement. Why not more spe- cific sayings? Instead of "Full of Wonder," it could say, "Full of Vitamins." Instead of "Faith, Hope, Love," it could say, "Remem- ber Your Keys," "Charge Your Phone" or "Pay That Bill." Rather than "Choose Hap- py," how about "Choose Lactaid, or the Ice Cream Will Make You Run to the Closest Restroom, Probably in Some Gross Gas Sta- tion, Where You Will Miraculously Catch Typhoid"? All super-useful bracelet remind- ers! They're not inspirational, per se, but they definitely would improve your quali- ty of life. Not that quality-of-life improvement is relegated to making choices that are good for you. You may need a bracelet remind- er to "Play Hooky," "Experiment a Little" or "Dye Your Hair Hot Pink." "Live Laugh Love" is great, but so is "Stuff Your Face with Cheetos." (Feel free to sub in a disgusting/delicious terrible food of your liking.) For those of us who already dance on the side of the flames, perhaps a bracelet that says, "En- tertain the Fantasy, but Don't Ac- tually Steal That Cop Car" or "Just Lie and Say You Did." That last one kept me out of a lot of trouble as a teenager. What did not keep me out of trouble as a teenager was writing on the back of my hand. Ever the ab- sent-minded adolescent, I'd lose my back- pack but never my limbs, so I'd jot down homework assignments and play practice times, sometimes scrawling so much in- formation that my Bic ink would go far up my arm. Hand handwriting wasn't only for keeping track of assignments and sched- ules, however. I'd also write the names of boys I liked in hearts and my latest favorite Gandhi quotation, obviously following his word to a T in those teenage years. I knew back then, before the explosion of the ins- pi-bracelets, that the visual cues would help me remember who I wanted to be and what I needed to do to get there. "Be the Change You Want To See in the World." Cool! "Write an 800 -word Essay on the Fall of the Roman Empire." Check. "Use Laura's Fake ID To Buy Cigarettes." Oops. Mom didn't like seeing that one. And I guess that's the prob- lem with word jewelry on a mass scale and why we tend to buy words that the masses approve of. Anyone can read what you wear, and to choose some- thing new is to choose something expos- ing. "Pause," as opposed to "Breathe," ex- poses something about me. But if I "Pause," the exposed reminder is worth it. I'm guessing the person who buys "Choose Lactaid, or the Ice Cream Will Make You Run to the Closest Restroom, Probably in Some Gross Gas Station, Where You Will Miraculously Catch Ty- phoid" agrees. Like Katiedid Langrock on Facebook, at http://www.facebook.com/katiedidhumor. Pregnant... or think you are? Call:1-877-257-1084 or Locally Call: 1-812-354-2814 • Free pregnancy testing • Free counseling and info. on pregnancy options. • Confi dential counseling for women & men who are suff ering from post-abortion syndrome. • Residential Care • Health and assistance referrals. • Training and education. • Assistance in getting baby and maternity clothes washpcc@sbcglobal.net www.washingtonpregnancycenter.com