The Press-Dispatch
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/232947
The Press-Dispatch Court report Criminal Docket Pike Circuit Court Kenneth T. Nash charged with count I arson, a class C felony; and count II insurance fraud, a class C felony. Civil Docket Pike Circuit Court Accounts Recovery Bureau Inc. sues Jennifer A. Tharp for complaint on account. Capital One Bank sues Julie K. Shepa- Katiedid vs... by Wednesday, December 25, 2013 C-3 H Crocodile tears Continued from page 2 Rebecca Tallent is the the Ryan plan. Speaker's new immigration rd aka Julie K. Tredway for complaint on ing, 69 mph in a 55 zone. Superficially, it is a very policy director. Until last account. Gerald R. Stroud, Jr., charged with odd fight. But Speaker week, Ms. Tallent served as State of Indiana sues Brenda Love- speeding, 49 mph in a 30 zone. Boehner's crocodile tears in the director of immigration less on the relation of the Indiana DeTimothy D. Sult charged with speedhis attacks and cries against policy at the Bipartisan Polpartment of Workforce Development Civ- ing, 43 mph in a 30 zone. the conservative movement icy Center. Before that, she il Enforcement. Marvin L. Ulmet charged with speedare really about the next worked for Senator John McInfractions ing, 71 mph in a 55 zone. fight. Speaker Boehner in- Cain as his Chief of Staff. Pike Circuit Court Traffic and misdemeanor tends to pursue immigra- Ms. Tallent helped Senators Pike Circuit Court John R. Minton charged with loaded tion reform, with an am- McCain and Kennedy forJoe L. Oliver III charged with driving firearm on ATV. nesty component. Before mulate their amnesty-based Ryan J. Beadles charged with speed- while suspended, a class A misdemeanor. he gets there, he needs to immigration plan in 2007. shape battle lines. Before that, she worked for There are a number of former Representative Jim fence sitters on the right. Kolbe, an Arizona RepubliKatiedid Langrock Speaker Boehner needs can, helping him with plans them on his team. By cas- to overhaul the American tigating the conservative immigration system. movement now and making It would be very unusutrembling from the incessant vomiting. their own way up to the lido deck and them the unpopular crowd, al for Speaker Boehner to Thank you for your concern, though. plopped their bottoms down in near- the Speaker and Republican bring on Ms. Tallent, givPerhaps you comfort criminals will ly every seat not occupied by the leaders intend to draw the en her background, unless dry towels of the lounge fence sitters to them. Once he was ready to go forward eventually notice my dire chair leeches. I don't they have done so, they can with immigration reform. state and will offer me one of your untouched lounge fault these healthy cruis- move on to a primary season Likewise, it would be unsanctuaries warming in ers. They have a right to where they can fight against usual, given her background the Caribbean sun. Of their calypso music, pina the unpopular crowd intent for Ms. Tallent to go work course, to notice me, you coladas, floral button-up on driving some incumbents for someone not interested shirts and embarrassing from office. would first have to leave in comprehensive immigrathe 24-hour buffet. What attempts at line dancing. Then the real fight will be- tion reform. a pity to miss out on your But their leaving only the gin—immigration reform. Speaker Boehner, for all fourth helping of chicken spots near the ice cream The Speaker assumes he his faults, has been skillfully tikka masala, beef Welmachine vacated for the can marginalize conserva- maneuvering pieces on the lington and sashimi. I've late-to-rise sick and wea- tives through primary sea- chessboard getting ready heard it's good. I've eaten ry like me was truly cruel. son, make conservatives un- for this fight. He may have pretty well myself. So far, Not only am I sick but popular, then push through clowned himself with his unI've managed to keep down now people in a constant an amnesty-based immigra- usual temper tantrums this some pretty fine dinner rolls and half line are bumping into my side-by-side tion reform plan, daring his week, but it is for a greater a plain baked potato. chairs, taking little to no notice of my tenuous coalition to move good in his mind. Many have Yours hatefully, barf bag or the incredible triumph of over to the unpopular kids' speculated this will be his Katiedid my head resting above my waist. They table. last congressional session mock me with their smiling faces, sea While conservatives as Speaker. He denies it, but It's not all the lounge chair lifters' legs and chocolate-vanilla swirl. and much of the rest of the given the fractious nature of fault; they are far from the only peoMisery loves company, and I was country are scratching their his Speakership, it would not ple worth hating while I sit here stew- debating which of these cone con- heads over Speaker John be surprising. Any Speaker ing in my own misery. Oh, no, there noisseurs I wished my queasy consti- Boehner's temper tantrums would want to go out with a are so many hate options. Options ev- tution on the most, when a man I had this week, the Speaker is legacy heralded by the meerywhere! People doing the limbo! seen twice before waiting in line for laying the ground work for dia. Immigration would do People in the belly flop competition! soft-serve suddenly doubled over and his legacy—he will be the that for John Boehner. Every person cha-chaing in the con- announced aloud, "I think I'm gonna man who gets immigration Fence sitters in the Rega line! High on today's hate list are hurl." In that moment, I did not let him reform through the House publican Party should be ice cream eaters—one lactose lover, experience the embarrassment I had of of Representatives. He is careful, lest they wind up in particular. vomiting on the floor of this fine ship. already staffing up on this working against their own Before I mustered the energy to No, I decided to be a bigger person. I front. goals in the next fight. pry myself from my rocking bed (not handed him my barf bag. the good kind) and threw on some He held it before him, readying for mismatched attire (I use the term the eruption. Then . . . he sneezed. He handed the bag back to me, say"threw," but the process was painstakconsent, it was too late and Continued from page 2 ingly slow) to exit my dark bedroom of ing, "False alarm. Good maternal inglass chamber above the at 11:00 o'clock after some death and wish for my early demise in stincts, though." needle, then stepping to the four hours of agony, the lita sunnier locale, healthier folks made Dear Sneezy Guy: Go bless yourself. bed, thrust the needle into tle soul returned to his Makthe frail arm. er and I had a second small Hours and hours the doc- grave on my cemetery lot. tors and nurse hovered Then you wonder why I about the bed of the now think Dr. Behring's great by Ed Feulner sleeping little girl. The wait- discovery was such a Christing seemed endless, but in mas present. Almost seven due time the crisis passed. years later, I had a repeat An eyelash fluttered weakly, dose of the same dread disvesting it to produce even more goods for people to save, invest and risk their the blue eyes opened. "Mer- ease with another son. I recand services in the future. capital in the anticipation of achieving ry Christmas, nurse, have ognized the odor and so did the bells stopped ringing?" the younger doctor. We did America is great because it offers greater wealth in the future. the opportunity for almost everyone America is great because its capital- The fever had left and the lit- not hesitate but procured to work, save, invest and build capital ist system enables the average person tle girl was on the road to re- doses of Dr. Behring's seover time. This accumulated capital to start with little and build a substan- covery. Only those who have rum and the result was altocan be used to start a business or can tial estate over the course of a work- been through it know the joy gether different. I called a be combined with the capital of oth- ing lifetime. America has more million- that had reached that home. specialist from the city and You may wonder why he remained with the family ers to help fund the creation of larger aires and billionaires than all the othcorporations. er countries in the world. Fully 80 per- share this condensed sto- physician until the crisis was Stock markets represent a place cent of wealthy Americans started at ry of the great Christmas passed and today, instead of where people can pool their capital, the bottom and earned their money in gift Dr. Behring gave to the another grave in my cemeinvest it in enterprises, along with the one generation as the result of start- world even when he had to tery lot, I have a son, now capital of others, to produce and sell ing in building capitalistic enterprises. take a chance with his life grown to middle age. During the time of the products and services and earn profits Where some nations have age-old to do it. American doctors and dividends, which are then distrib- caste systems or entrenched class sys- were stubborn about taking death of my first from diphuted to the stockholders as the owners tems from which escape to a better life hold of it and using it or else theria, the community had of the business. is next to impossible, the free-market jealous or ignorant for they an epidemic of the dread disCapitalism depends on a combina- capitalist system in the United States permitted great stories to ease, children, both boys tion of productivity and self-discipline presents opportunities for every indi- be circulated about it, like it and girls died of the disease. will kill or curse, or it will But since doctors were not or self-denial. It requires the ability to vidual to improve his or her life. delay gratification in the short term in America is great because America leave the victim with some afraid to use Dr. Behring's order to enjoy greater rewards in the is free, and should we ever lose the sort of trouble like deafness, serum, a death of diphthelong term. It accepts and helps tame economic freedom that capitalism se- paralysis and many other ria is almost unknown. In fact these days we do not human nature. cures, our political freedom will also atrocious things. When the facts are it is hear of a child having it, for As Steve Forbes once observed in a be gravely threatened. lecture to The Heritage Foundation, This is why conservatives always harmless and it is the dis- children these days are imcapitalism "encourages ambitious in- champion smaller government. It's ease that does the damage, munized against it and it is dividuals to engage in peaceful pursuit the only way to bring more innovation, and prior to the use of an- a thing of the past. When one has seen child instead of plundering their neighbors. more new jobs, and more opportunities titoxin about 90 percent of the victims died. All on ac- after child throughout the An entrepreneur offers something—a for more people. product or service. You do not have to That's something that capitalism's count of this, I followed a lit- community hauled off to accept it. It is a voluntary transaction. critics always seem to overlook. But it tle white casket to Oak Hills the cemetery and then has It encourages cooperation." helps explain why capitalism has out- Cemetery. He was eight seen it wiped out by one America is great because it provides lasted all of its challengers over the last years old on October 27. We man's discovery what keeps gave him a birthday party. it, pray tell me, from being a a legal and social framework consist- century. On the morning of No- Christmas gift to the world, ing of clearly understood laws, legally Ed Feulner is founder of The Heritage vember 3 after that, at since it was first used at sanctioned contracts, and a stable cur- Foundation (www.heritage.org). breakfast he complained of Christmas. rency that creates sufficient security a sore throat. We walked to As Christmas time rolls the physician's office who or- around each year these are dered him to go home and memories that crowd into go to bed and ordered me my mind and refuse to leave. to call another doctor. Both And the greatest money valorders were obeyed. Both ue the tax bag gives up is mas is all about?" And suddenly there was with the angel came at once and when they for this serum which it does At this moment, Linus Van Pelt steps a multitude of the heavenly host, prais- said "diphtheria," I begged with any family unable to to center stage and says, "Sure Char- ing God, and saying, 'Glory to God in them to let me get antitoxin, procure it themselves. Merlie Brown, I can tell you what Christ- the highest, and on earth peace, good but by the time they would ry Christmas! mas is all about: And there were in will toward men.'" the same country shepherds abiding At that point, Linus picks up his blanin the field, keeping watch over their ket and walks towards Charlie Brown flock by night. And lo, the angel of the and says, "That's what Christmas is all Lord came upon them, and the glory about, Charlie Brown." of the Lord shone round about them: That is what Christmas is still about. and they were sore afraid. And the an- Kwanza and Hanukah may compete for gel said unto them, 'Fear not: for be- the holiday, but Christmas remains the hold, I bring unto you good tidings of celebration of the season. Somewhere, DECEMBER 31, 2013 great joy, which shall be to all people. a child or an adult will ask innocently, For unto you is born this day in the what is this Christmas all about? You City of David a Savior, which is Christ can remove Christ from the celebrathe Lord. And this shall be a sign unto tion, but you can't remove Christ from 10pm-2am you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in Christ-Mas! swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' Think about it! Hating seasickness I write this—with difficulty. My head, at long last, is above my knees. A white plastic-lined paper bag is propped open on the table beside me, waiting for anything that may . . . come up. They say that when you are suffering from seasickness, at first you are afraid you are going to die. Then you are afraid you never will. What the collective "they" fail to mention is the insurmountable desire to take everyone down with you. I write this sitting on the lido deck of a cruise ship sailing toward the British Virgin Islands. Not on one of the long lounge chairs you could curl up in the fetal position and sleep away your seasickness on. No, those were snatched up by folks with cast-iron stomachs who rose with the sun and secured spots with towels, thus claiming the most desired location and lounge chairs for their friends and family. Friends and family who have yet to show their faces. Dear people who snatched the lounge chairs but haven't used them: Don't worry; it's cool. I'm dying over here, but I'll just pull up another straight chair to awkwardly spread my body across. Never mind the backache that this will cause or the weird tweak in my neck. The important thing is that you will be comfortable, should you ever choose to appear. And don't worry about snatching up all the spots in the sun. Seeing as I haven't forfeited all of MY towels staking claim to territory I will never settle in, I have plenty of blue terrycloth to wrap around my shoulders and legs to hide my unshakeable H Looking out Heritage Viewpoint Capitalism's carping critics Attacking capitalism never seems to go out of style. Over the past 100 years, few institutions have been attacked so fiercely, so falsely and so foolishly. Yet capitalism's resilience continues. Governments based on the idea that capitalism is evil, and that the state can create in controlling entire economy, have risen and fallen during this period, but capitalism continues to thrive. Today, it is no longer beyond the pale to say that capitalism has done more good for more people than any other economic arrangement ever devised by man. Capitalist economies such as the United States are prosperous, growing and expansive, creating opportunities and wealth for ever-increasing numbers of people. "I think all the world would gain by setting commerce at perfect liberty," Thomas Jefferson said, and our Constitution was a major step in that direction. Capitalism is based on free markets, on the opportunities for anyone to enter any market at any time to produce and offer products and services that people want, need, and will purchase. Capitalism is really savings-ism. Fixed capital consists of real estate, factories, machinery, equipment and all other factors of production that can be used to produce and distribute products and services to ever more people. Capital is accumulated only when people refrain from spending everything they earn, saving it instead, and rein- H That's what it's all about Wondering if the celebration has any meaning to me. You might consider these words just a suggestion I may, Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not "Have a "Happy Holiday!" The struggle to find a reason for the season was apparent by the mid-1960s. Charles Schultz put this struggle into his now classic Christmas cartoon "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Executives at CBS were not overly thrilled with so much Jesus and religion in the production, but Schultz had the clout to push the project through. The climax of the story comes when Charlie Brown becomes exasperated and asks his fellow classmates, "Isn't there anyone who knows what Christ- Bob-Inn NEW YEAR'S EVE Pink Sneakers Come party the new year in with us 80's style! NO COVER CHARGE • FREE paRty FavoRs • FREE BREaKFast • DEsIGNatED DRIvERs avaILaBLE • New Year's Special Steak Dinner for 2 - $25 (812) 789-9231