The South Gibson Star-Times serves the towns of Haubstadt, Owensville and Fort Branch.
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/1471837
HOME LIFE A-6 Tuesday, June 28, 2022 South Gibson Star-Times As your dead relative, I don't want Amazon's Alexa to mimic me Dearest loved one, It has come to my attention that Amazon announced it is working on new technology for voice assistant Alexa, oth- er wise known as, "I SAID, 'I LIKE SALT,' NOT 'ALEXA.'" The new feature would sam- ple clips of a voice, learn that voice, and turn it into longer speeches, bedtime stories and cursed incantations. Amazon's Rohit Prasad said at a conference Wednes- day that this disembodied voice of the dead would "make the memories last," and I can only assume the audience members looked down at their phones and re- fused to make eye contact. Listen. I have passed on, and that is sad. But I implore you. I do not want this. For starters, this is the be- ginning of at least six to 10 horror mov- ies, and you know it. This is demon-level behavior. This opens the por- tal in the base- ment. Yes, this brings me back into the house, but not the way you want me. Oh, at first, you think it's me, but then things star t to get weird, and the kitchen chairs fly across the room. I don't sound exactly like myself, either, but you can't quite identify it. Pretty soon, I am scream-whispering, "Touch the stove." Do not in- vite this darkness into your home! Stephen King once brought a cat back from the dead, and let's just say it was a slip- per y slope. A n y w a y , "Black Mir- ror" already did this epi- sode. "Black Mirror" was s u p p o s e d to amplify and reflect our in- creasingly unhinged behav- iors, not inspire them. Right? I mean, I didn't see ever y ep- isode because it got kind of heavy, but I think I'm right. People are already out here going all Deep Throat on Google, saying that the ar tificial intelligence thing- amajigs have gone sentient, that the bots have feelings and a family. Do you think I want to be a par t of that sordid histor y? No. I want my legacy to be nestled comfor tably in only my best photos and reassuring cliches. Just tell them I lit up a room! How hard is it? Don't tell the children that I am alive inside the speak - er box and have retur ned from my final resting place to read them "Strega Nona" before lights out! Peanut, I know you have good intentions, and you just want me near. I appreciate that. But just know that I am near to you always. And that 60-second clip you saved of me saying, "Please, turn the camera of f, I just woke up and I'm not wearing pants" is not how I want to be immor- talized. Nor is the .wav file of me saying, "You better not post this! Does my hair real- ly do that? OK, that's kind of cute actually. Go ahead." Just leave me out of your little dark arts computer pod with the grocer y list and the poor curation of jazz and the joke of the day. The jokes are ver y bad. If you do not honor my request, I will haunt you and Jeff Bezos for the rest of my days. That happens to be eternity, so think hard. Thanks, Your loved one Stephanie Hayes is a col- umnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her at @stephhayes on Twitter or @ stephrhayes on Instagram. Parenting with grace By Heather Miller Youth First, Inc. youthfirstinc.org Author Jill Churchill once wrote, "There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one." Before having children, I had many ideas of what I would and would not do as a mom. I would limit screen time, offer healthy snacks, have a consistent daily schedule, and always remain calm when correcting behavior. Then I had a baby. Two years later, another baby with special needs joined our family. I had a decision to make. I could tr y in vain to be a "perfect parent" knowing I would fail, or instead choose to give myself grace. As a parent, you will make mistakes. You will have tough days. Some days it may seem as if noth- ing went right, but the sun will rise again the next morning. An article by HuffPost focuses on what can be learned from making mistakes. This infor- mation also gives insight into lessons children may learn when parents recognize perfection is not the goal. These lessons are summarized as the following: When someone has a bad day, move for ward and make an effort to make tomorrow better. Children will learn that it is normal to have "off" days. Focusing on the present and being mindful of current circumstances is an import- ant lesson for all ages. Perfection is not required to be loved and accepted. Family and home are intended to be safe zones. People can be their genuine selves, knowing that they're loved unconditionally. Behavior can be corrected and positive coping skills can be retaught. However, there needs to be a separation between disliking behavior and disliking the person. It will help children feel safe to have open communication with parents. Additionally, children will learn that it is not necessar y to expect perfectionism from them- selves. While we want kids to tr y their best, at- tempting to be perfect often causes increased anxiety and lower self-esteem. It is okay to ask for help. Accepting support is equally as important as providing support to others. Learning to accept help from trust- worthy adults teaches children how to commu- nicate their needs. Children learn that if they are having a rough day, there is no shame in saying so. Empathy is often a focus, as learning to consider how others feel is important. It is equally as important to teach children to rec- ognize when they need extra support. If parents model this behavior, children will learn to give themselves and others the same type of grace. Youth First offers several pro- grams geared at supporting parents and fam- ilies. For more information, please visit our website at youthfirstinc.org. Heather Miller, LCSW, is the Youth First Social Worker for Washington Middle School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families, provides 78 Master's level social work- ers to 107 schools in 13 Indiana counties. Over 60,000 youth and families per year are served by Youth First's school social work and after school programs that prevent substance abuse, promote healthy behaviors and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirst- inc.org or call 812-421-8336. Youth First Today My So Called Millennial Life By Stephanie Hayes Visiting with Cinderella Lena Blagrave, Adi Vories, Brinley Schmidt sit with Cinderella during a princess playtime at OTM Boutique in Princeton Sunday.