The Press-Dispatch
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/1312729
Work Daze By Bob Goldman Going back You never thought the day would come. You've been working remotely for so long and enjoying it so much that the idea that you would have to go back to an office seemed, well, remote. But with vaccines on the horizon and employers not exactly thrilled about paying rent on tens of thousands of square feet of emp- ty office space, the days when your com- mute is the distance from your bedroom to your kitchen table will inevitably come to an end. It's true! No matter how productive you have been, if you need a salary for frivo- lous expenses like food, you will have no choice but to leave your cozy home of- fice hideaway and trudge back to work. (Or take the bus. Or the freeway. Either way, it's a trudge.) I'd write you an excuse — "Billy can't come in to work today. He's too comfy working from home in his jam-jams." — but I can't. What I can do is remind you what to expect when you do get back to working at work. For example: The Information Technology Department When you have a computer problem at home, you fix it yourself. You may have to enlist a 12-year-old neighbor to help, but together, you got it done. When you return to the office, your computer is the property of the informa- tion technology department, "IT" to its friends, not that it has any. The first rule of IT is that you must nev- er, ever touch your computer. Thinking of plugging in your computer? That's a no-no. How about unplugging your com- puter? That's grounds for firing if you're lucky or a firing squad if you're not. As your IT professional will explain in terms a 5 -year-old would understand, on- ly trained IT professionals are capable of understand- ing the awesome power of the company's computers, which operate in some- thing called "the cloud." Only trained IT profes- sionals can see this cloud. If a mere mortal saw the cloud, they would immedi- ately melt in the face of its awesome power. This is why IT professionals laugh at your computer problems. It's not that they don't care. It's that they're not hu- man. The Human Resources Department The Human Resources Department, or "HR" to its enemies, which it has many, may have been working with you on a re- mote basis during your exile from the of- fice. Now that you are back, you will be able to meet face to face with the friend- ly folks who patiently explained that your health insurance doesn't pay for doctor visits, your 401(k) payment was automat- ically invested in a gluten-free sludge startup and your paycheck actually was deposited on time in the checking ac- count of a veterinary gastroenterologist in Ashtabula, Ohio. All of which they did at your request, and they have the paperwork to prove it. You're free to drop in at HR at any time, but I wouldn't advise visiting at lunch- time. Seeing a bunch of zombies tearing the flesh off a stray intern isn't pretty. The Office Services Department When you work from home, and you need a pencil, you could steal one from your kid's backpack. Easy-peezy. When you're back in the office, this kind of unsupervised behavior is verboten. Instead of reaching for what you need, reach instead for a requisition. Simply fill out the three-page form in triplicate, sending one copy to office ser- vices, one copy to the finance department and one copy to the accounting department, which will determine if the pencil is a form of compensation and must be included on your W-2 to be taxed. Rest assured, it will be. Once you make your request, expect to wait two or 10 months while office services determines if your pencil use is within guidelines. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but if every employee was as frivolous with pencils as you, it could mean thousands of dollars in pen- cil costs, which go right to the bottom line, which no one can even draw, since selfish spendthrifts like you have used up the entire pencil budget. Remember: Using the final three-quar- ters of an inch of a pencil, never turning on your computer and never complain- ing to HR when your manager insists you start wearing pants to meetings are all signs of company loyalty, which will be rewarded, if not in this pay period then in the next life, where, if you're good, and if HR approves, and if IT connects to the cloud, you'll be working at home forever. Bob Goldman was an advertising exec- utive at a Fortune 500 company. He of- fers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@ bgplanning.com. The Press-Dispatch Wednesday, November 25, 2020 D-7 OPTIMISTIC Continued from page 6 THANKS Continued from page 6 AIRLINES Continued from page 6 DIAGNOSTIC Continued from page 6 cial work. James D. Agresti, the pres- ident and co-founder of Just Facts, has just published an article titled "Social Ills That Plague A frican Ameri- cans Coincide with Leftism, Not Racism." Agresti writes: "Among all of the afflictions that disproportionately im- pact people of color, violence may be the worst. In 2018, blacks comprised 13 per- cent of the U.S. population but roughly 53 percent of the 16,000 murder victims." The clearance rate for murders, where a suspect was identi- fied and charged, declined from 92 percent in 1960 to 62 percent in 2018. For ex- ample, in Chicago, the clear- ance rate fell from 96 percent in 1964 to 45 percent in 2018. In Baltimore, the 2019 clear- ance rate was 32 percent. In 2015, when Baltimore expe- rienced the highest per-cap- ita murder rate in its histo- ry, the average homicide suspect had been previous- ly arrested more than nine times. When crimes remain unsolved, it gives criminals free range and black people are their primary victims. By the way, most law enforce- ment occurs at the local lev- el. The governments at these local levels are typically dom- inated by Democrats. According to statistics about fatherless homes, 90 percent of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes; 71 per- cent of pregnant teenagers lack a father figure; 63 per- cent of youth suicides are from fatherless homes; 71 percent of high school drop- outs come from fatherless homes; and 70 percent of ju- veniles in state-operated in- stitutions have no father. Fur- thermore, fatherless boys and girls are twice as likely to drop out of high school and twice as likely to end up in jail. Dr. Thomas Sowell has argued, "The black family, which had survived centu- ries of slavery and discrimi- nation, began rapidly disinte- grating in the liberal welfare state that subsidized unwed pregnancy and changed wel- fare from an emergency res- cue to a way of life." The bottom line is that while every vestige of racial discrimination has not been eliminated, today's discrim- ination cannot go very far in explaining the problems faced by a large segment of the black community. Walter E. Williams is a pro- fessor of economics at George Mason University. ADVENT Continued from page 6 more socialism, and more rampant materialism and secularism will continue. So, conservatives must continue the work to keep the torch of freedom burn- ing. We must, and we will. We have plenty to be optimistic about. Star Parker is president of the Center for Urban Renew- al and Education. Readers can respond to Star's column by emailing star-parker@ur- bancure.org. Court Report FELONY Pike County Circuit Court Dakota D. Mattes charged with count I obstruction of justice, a level 6 felony, count II maintaining a common nuisance - controlled substances, a level 6 felony, count III operating a vehicle with a sched- ule I or II controlled substance or its me- tabolite in person's body, a level 6 felony, count IV dealing in marijuana and count V operating a vehicle with a schedule I or II controlled substance in person's body. David Michael Wood, Jr. charged with count I leaving the scene of an accident, count II operating a vehicle with an ACE of .15 or more and count III operating a vehicle while intoxicated, prior, a level 6 felony. Bernard E. Church charged with count I possession of methamphetamine, a level 6 felony, count II driving while suspend- ed and count III leaving the scene of an accident. Clayton Dwayne Sanders charged with count I operating a vehicle with an ACE of .15 or more and count II operating a vehicle while intoxicated, prior, a level 6 felony. Thomas Tyler Cannon charged with possession of methamphetamine. Claude E. Green charged with three counts of theft, a level 6 felony. TRAFFIC AND MISDEMEANORS Pike County Circuit Court Tammy K. Coan charged with operat- ing a vehicle with an ACE of .15 or more. Maurico Alexis Bolanos charged with visiting a common nuisance - controlled substances. Jarrod Alan Miley charged with count I operating a vehicle with a schedule I or II controlled substance or its metabolite in person's body and count II possession of marijuana. Craig Joseph Baden charged with pos- session of marijuana. CIVIL Pike County Circuit Court Professional and Business Collections sues Melissa Goodpasture AK A Melissa Brown on complaint. Midland Credit Management, Inc. sues Josh Tindall on complaint. LVNV Funding, LLC sues Brian Dent on complaint. Monique C. Chitwood sues Ray E. Miles for dissolution of marriage. SMALL CLAIMS Pike County Circuit Court All God's Creatures Holistic Heathcare sues Danielle Boren and William Boren on complaint. All God's Creatures Holistic Health- care sues Victoria V. Helsley and Jere- my Helsley on complaint. INFRACTIONS Pike County Circuit Court Jillian K. Fox charged with operating with expired plates. Sabrina R. Lunsford charged with speeding, exceeding 55 mph. Patricia M. Vanderhoff charged with count I driving the wrong way on post- ed one-way roadway and count II disre- garding an official traffic control device. Hannah R. Jackson charged with driv- ing left of center. Kayce L. Hutton charged with driving too fast for conditions. William D. Haymaker charged with speeding, exceeding 70 mph. Nicholas T. Ross charged with no val- id driver's license. Kevin L. Rominger charged with speeding, exceeding 30 mph. Alexander S. Wilkinson charged with speeding, exceeding 55 mph. David A. Hostetter charged with count I speeding, exceeding 55 mph, and count II failure to obey signs and markings while driving a vehicle. industries that have also suffered consid- erably. But it's not Congress' job to hold them harmless. Rather, legislators should focus on making it easier for all industries to adapt and recover, while helping keep doors open and create new opportunities for all individuals, businesses, and households. Most experts think it will take years for airlines to fully recover. Even after the pandemic is under control, the increased use of teleconferencing will likely reduce the amount of business travel, which is a huge portion of airline revenue. But there could be other shifts—such as intermit- tent travel arising from an increase in re- mote work positions—that could partly offset other declines. In any event, the airline industry—and all industries—will have to adapt to the post-COVID-19 economy. Such adaptations are already under- way, resulting in new technology and in- novations that will have positive impacts far beyond this global pandemic. The CommonPass mobile app, for ex- ample, could help open up more travel by providing a way to document travelers' health across borders. And airlines' tri- als of on-site rapid testing could increase travel by ensuring greater safety. Adaptation isn't all growth and inno- vation, though—it also involves stream- lining operations and potentially relying on fewer workers. Lost jobs are painful in the short run, but usually lead to bet- ter outcomes in the long run. That's because no one benefits from keeping people in positions where they aren't producing much value. Maintain- ing a full staff of flight attendants and baggage handlers simply doesn't make sense when there are only one-third as many airline travelers. Rather than subsidize workers and have them keep reporting to jobs where they produce little value, both individuals and society would be better off with work- ers shifting to jobs with higher demand, where they can produce more value and therefore merit higher wages. Instead of sending another $25 billion gift to airlines, federal as well as state and local lawmakers should help make it easi- er for airlines—and all industries—to re- cover and adapt. For starters, not imposing excessive travel restrictions and quarantine re- quirements that prevent individuals from being able to travel, and easing restric- tions and red tape on innovations that help improve people's lives and liveli- hoods. Another option would be for the federal government to prepay for service expens- es such as flights and hotel reservations that can reasonably be expected over the next few years. This would provide finan- cial assistance during the pandemic with- out resorting to a pure handout. There is also a lot that policymakers can do—without taxpayer cost—to help individuals who have lost work. By eliminating unnecessary regula- tions and licensing requirements, re- specting individuals' right to work, re- pealing wage restrictions that reduce jobs, ending restrictions that limit work- place flexibility, and enabling more ac- cessible and affordable child care, poli- cymakers can foster environments that attract and enable work opportunities for all Americans, across all industries. Research Associate, Grover M. Her- mann Center for the Federal was told the child would be named Jesus, for He would save his people from their sins. That name is a deriv- ative of Emmanuel, which means "God with us; consid- er what that name means. It is a name that means "Forev- er and without end. What a great name for God's son! " Think about it as you pre- pare your heart for Advent! life, help my spirit to wel- come inner winter without dying. Let me embrace the time of rest like the trees in my back- yard, nurturing my inner re- sources, resting in the quiet dark, storing up energy for the breaking forth of spring blossoms. Through this en- croaching darkness, help me to keep my inner gaze fixed on Your unquenchable light. The Press-Dispatch 812-354-8500 | www.pressdispatch.net *By enrolling in the Birthday Club, you agree to have your name, town and birth- day, or the person's name and town and birthday of whom you are enrolling, printed in e Press-Dispatch on the week in which the birthday occurs. Joining is easy! Visit pressdispatch.net/birthday or send your full name, address, city, state, zip code, phone number and birthdate to birthdayclub@pressdispatch.net.* Each week, a list of birthdays will be published in the paper! You could win a FREE PRIZE from area businesses and a three-month subscription to e Press-Dispatch. MUST RE-ENROLL EVERY YEAR! Join the One WINNER is drawn at the end of each month