The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/46817
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, November 4, 2011 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O'Brien The Ford Company is installing a new feature in their cars which reads text messages out loud to the driver. This amazing new feature is called a passenger. The man accused of leaking nude photos of Scarlett Johansson could face up to 21 years in prison. The man pleaded "totally worth it." Hulk Hogan says he no longer supports President Obama. But the president's not worried because he has the support of the Iron Sheik and Triple H. Telemundo will host its first-ever Republican presidential debate. The Republican candidates will take questions from Telemundo journalists, and then they'll have them deported. The Occupy Wall Street movement has now raised over $300,000. Which means, technically, now they have to protest themselves. Remember the preacher who falsely predicted the end of the world back in May? Now he says the end of the world will be Friday. His wife is starting to think he just doesn't want to clean out the garage. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made an unannounced visit to Libya. When told the news, Bill Clinton said: "There's nothing more terrifying than Hilary's unannounced visits!" Republican frontrunner Hermain Cain said that America should build its own Great Wall of China. Cain says it's a great idea because if there's one thing you don't see in China, it's Mexicans. In Michigan, a man who was too drunk to drive had his nine-year-old daughter drive his van home for him. As he was being arrested, he said to the girl: "I need a lawyer -- go get your little brother." The Tonight Show: Jay Leno The Republicans had yet another debate the other night. This is their seventh one. They're apparently going to keep having these debates until Rick Perry can get one right. Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years. Herman Cain is surging in the polls. Many polls have him ahead of Mitt Romney. He hasn't said who he would choose as his running mate yet, but according to a report, he's had several meetings with Papa John. The Late Show: David Letterman Big Ben is leaning to one side, but they think that it might be able to somehow correct itself. And I thought, well, yeah, look at Mitt Romney -- he used to lean to the left and now he leans to the right! Herman Cain said that, starting today, if you buy into his 9-9-9 plan, he'll throw in a free 32-ounce soda. The Late, Late Show: Craig Ferguson There are some incredible innovations coming out of Detroit these days: electric cars, hybrids and a football team that wins! The Occupy Wall Street protests continue to grow. They've started to attract a very unsavory element: celebrities.