The O-town Scene - Oneonta, NY
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/31419
Keep Up Now! Get back to you There are times I feel like I’m moving backward instead of forward. I think I should be feeling more secure in my position and making better choices re- garding my relationships. Why do I keep mak- ing the same mistakes over and over again? When life suddenly shifts gears and I realize I have been mistaken about what I thought was true, I try to remember what I’ve learned about being Love and manifesting happiness through forgiveness and gratitude. Sometimes, however, dark nights arrive nonetheless and the experience brings me to my knees. Eventually, I surrender to the Holy Spirit and awaken once again to my true self, Love. When I pause to reevaluate my life situation, I realize that, although the scenarios appear to be repeating themselves, I’m making better choices and I am moving forward in my own personal growth and evolution; I’ve simply fallen short of my own expectations. In other words, I’m being too hard on myself. I could be enjoying the journey, loving myself for being brave enough to take chances for my happiness and for being true to myself. Now is the time to smell the roses, and enjoy and ap- preciate everything life places before me. So often we play is safe and take the easy road instead of the path that makes our heart sing. This will lead to self destruction. Today, vow to be true to yourself. Take a leap of faith, knowing if you follow your heart it will lead you to the place you need to be at this very moment. Don’t waste another day. “Keep up Now! with the stream of higher consciousness and stay connected to the Source.” —Terry Ludwig Terry Ludwig’s brother, Rob, passed away in 2004 after battling AIDS. Before he passed, he shared his message. “Keep Up Now!” is the result of that com- munication. You don’t seem gay Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that the “gay community” was homog- enous — their personalities immutable to sexual orientation. Often when I’m at a party carrying on a conversation with someone I’ve met and casually mention something about my boyfriend I’m met the classic “You’re gay? You don’t seem gay at all!” In my youth, I always took this as a compli- ment; I felt more accepted. But, it’s in these subtle ways we reinforce there is something implicitly strange about being gay and (un- knowingly) perpetuate homophobia. These comments, however, are not meant with harm. In fact, the statement is given as a compliment — it’s great that you don’t seem gay! The statement is based on assumptions that all gay men are effeminate and flamboyant. It also subtly implies that women, as a rule, are inferior. This is a large over-arching reason for institutional homophobia. Homosexuality upsets traditional norms of male and female in a similar way that multiracial children upset understandings of ethnicity and race. For some people it’s too much, but that is changing. It’s not about tolerance; it’s about being inclusive as a community. We all want to be accepted for who we are — our individual personalities and character, not with a blan- ket categorization. The issue is not exclusive to gays; we all face similar situations. To be judged solely on one facet of ourselves could 26 O-Town Scene May 12, 2011 irritate anybody. We’re all guilty of doing it to oth- ers, as well. However, partaking in this behav- ior enables a culture of hostility, misunderstanding and aggression. Diversity Rules Be happy again by being true to who you are How many times have you thought about being transported back to an earlier point in your life when you were happier? Remember being a kid when all you had to do was get up in the morning, go out and play all day, come home to eat and go to bed? Then you’re a grown up and the world begins to knock you around with societal pressures and insecurities. Achieving happiness and contentment is all the more dif- ficult as an LGBTQ individual hiding in the closet or when we’re children and know deep down we’re different from the other kids. But, then we figure out how we’re different. This is when you can still hide, or you can choose to come out and be who you were meant to be. Coming out is such a liberating experience. Happiness and contentment flow from knowing you are living as the person you were supposed to be. It allows us to recapture some of the happiness that was somehow lost or never fulfilled as children. If you are in the closet, I encourage you to come out and experience the wonders of knowing you! Make a decision to begin to fulfill your life’s mission to be the person you were meant to be. _ Jim Koury Guest Column Stereotypes aren’t necessarily norms, but what is visible. As an openly gay teen I dealt with surprisingly little harassment. However, this comes back to that original statement —“you don’t seem that gay.” Meanwhile, others in my position dealt with perpetual bul- lying. The impression that gay people are ho- mogenous in mannerisms and behavior is as ludicrous as expecting everyone with brown hair to be good at math. We’re all unique individuals with many labels and roles — father, sister, friend, teacher, Christian, black, female, short, etc. We’re a lot of things, but when it comes down to it, you can’t encom- pass who anyone is with labels. So next time you’re talking to someone, find out something you didn’t expect, take a minute to question if you’re seeing them for who they are or unknowingly imposing a stereotype on them. _ Matthew Harby Matthew Harby has a bach- elor’s degree in anthropology from SUNY Oneonta. He works as a community educator and development specialist in Dela- ware County. Jim Koury was born and raised in Oneonta. He is a gay activist, and the city clerk of Oneonta, a position he has held for 18 years. He can be reached at editor@diversityrulesmaga- zine.com. Events Thurs. 5/12 Trash Thursday with Katrina, 9 p.m. Merlin’s, 201 State St., Binghamton. Molly and the Motonix, 9 p.m., Tranquil Bar and Bistro, 36 Pine St., Bing- hamton. Fri. 5/13 College Night at Merlin’s, 8 p.m., 201 State St., Binghamton. College ID’s in free before 11 p.m. College Night at Twist Ultra Lounge, 252 W. Genesee St., Syracuse. Sat. 5/14 Sherry Vine and Underwear Bois, 10 p.m., Rock’s, 77 LGBT Central Ave., Albany. Tues. 5/17 Franco Feeling, 7 p.m., Tranquil Bar and Bistro, 36 Pine St., Binghamton. Wed. 5/18 Piano Bar with Josh Smith, Twist Ultra Lounge, 252 Genesee St., Syracuse. Wednesday Night Drag Show, 10 p.m., Club Chill, Elmira. Thurs. 5/19 Therapy Thursday at Wa- terworks Pub, 11 p.m., 76 Central Ave., Albany. Fri. 6/10 Big Gay Cruise, Pride 2011, 11:30 p.m., JP Cruise Lines Dock, State and Front streets. the Diversity Scene May 12-18