The O-town Scene - Oneonta, NY
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/30393
College Guy by Sam Spokony Routines are the routes of culture It’s something so habitual, so regular, so expected, that it begins to function inde- pendently of those who carry it out. It’s an impulse that, like the electrical current of our nervous system, carries on without bother- ing to disturb the other senses. It’s a closed feedback loop that buzzes warmly around us, only reminding us of its existence when we find ourselves falling back on it. In a digitally modern world, the word “rou- tine” often carries distinctly horrible connota- tions. Your routine is what new products and their celebrity spokespeople try to convince you to leave behind in favor of original- ity or forward-thinking style. It’s what you complain about to your friends when you’ve decided that you’re not getting enough fun out of life. Though you create it, it becomes your burden. Or, at least, that’s the feeling you get after you’ve watched the media- framed spontaneity occur, the breaking news, whether it be beautiful or terrifying; from your far remove, that accompanying sense of uncertainty and fear strikes you as something to be idealized, something more “real” than a simple routine. I recently took part, as I do each year, in two Passover Seders: one each at the homes of two sets of relatives from either side of my extended family. With a few exceptions, my family, as a whole, does not adhere very strictly to Jewish law. I sure don’t. I haven’t seen the inside of a synagogue since my Bar Mitzvah, and I eat prodigious amounts of bacon and sausage and wear an arm- ful of tattoos. Beyond that, it’s not even as if these Seders are exclusively Jewish anyway; a bunch of interfaith marriages result in a bunch of people sitting around the table, keeping pace slowly, holding a book filled with the words of a language they don’t understand. And yet it continues. So, why do I keep showing up? Why do my aunts and uncles host these gatherings every April without fail, and why do we recite the rules, guidelines and prayers in the same order every time? What’s the point? The “point” takes different forms for differ- ent people: some find purpose in the Seder as a religious rite, some as a more abstract spiritual connection, some perhaps just as a reason to eat together with a bunch of people they haven’t seen all year. Regardless of the specifics, the fact is that whether or not we’d like to admit it, our society hasn’t yet out- grown meaningful routines. They create, like nothing else, a connection that is both cultural and temporal, saying, “Yes, the people that lived both 50 and 5,000 years ago did exist, and they meant something to someone, just as I do now.” They remind us that, while the world contin- ues to change too quickly and the people we love grow old and die, there is still something that won’t ever quite age and fade away, and won’t one day become obsolete like that strange ideal, the original, that we once thought was so unique. The word “routine” derives from the word route: a path, a line of passage. So if we re- ally do want to progress, to expand ourselves as individuals and as a society, doesn’t it make sense to align the routes forward with those that connect us to the ones who bore us, and the ideas that comfort us? It’s not just about the habitual functions; it’s about the links that they serve to sustain when the world becomes skewed and scary, keeping us grounded and steady within ourselves. I don’t believe in God, but I do believe in that. And that’s why I believe in the Seder, my routine. Sam Spokony is a junior majoring in mu- sic industry and Eng- lish at SUNY Oneon- ta. He can be reached at spoksm03@suny. oneonta.edu. Regardless of the specifics, the fact is that whether or not we’d like to admit it, our society hasn’t yet outgrown meaningful routines. They create, like nothing else, a connection that is both cultural and temporal, saying, ‘Yes, the people that lived both 50 and 5,000 years ago did exist, and they meant some- thing to someone, just as I do now.’ April 28, 2011 O-Town Scene 5 It’s not that I’m disgusted by commitment, discouraged by the need to morph my personality to fit another’s, or even annoyed by having to put someone else’s insignificant needs ahead of my own ... oh, wait _ no, that’s exactly the problem. College Girl by Jennifer Tighe Stupid boy, you can’t fence that in Lately I’ve been having a hard time fight- ing against that something inside of me that is so dead-set against what it means in our society to be a female in a heterosexual, monogamous relationship. It’s not that I’m disgusted by commitment, discouraged by the need to morph my per- sonality to fit another’s, or even annoyed by having to put someone else’s insignificant needs ahead of my own ... oh, wait _ no, that’s exactly the problem. Every guy I talk to wants to change me; they want to manipulate me until I’m noth- ing more than a mindless drone pining over their love and affection with nothing better to do than clear my schedule and spend every waking moment either in their arms, or wishing I was in their arms. And oh, my god, the very idea behind that sentence, let alone having to type it, brings vomit to my throat. The problem is, I’m just not that type of girl _ nor will I ever be. I love my inde- pendence, and I love my autonomy, and frankly, I’m not ready to give that up for anyone. Now, maybe I’ve been having some bad experiences lately, but it sure seems that every guy I start talking to wants me to be something that I’m just not going to be. They want me to be needy; to defriend anyone I know that happens to have been born with a penis; to never say what I’m feeling because those emotions are surely only a result of PMS; to hang on every word they say as if they’re the second coming; to always want to have sex with them; to love their friends _ their pot-smoking, vulgar- joking, sexual-harassing friends; to ensure them that they have the power; to not ask them to do or change anything; and most of all, they want me to sit there through gritted teeth and accept all of these double standards with a smile. But you know what? Screw that. I want to go to the bar with 15 of my guy friends and dance with every single one of them without thinking twice. I want to do what I want, when I want, with whom I want without my babysitter-boyfriend trailing on my heels. Isn’t a relationship supposed to be about loving people for who they are, not who you hope you can change them into? Jennifer Tighe is a senior majoring in English at SUNY Oneonta. She can be reached at tighjj53@ suny.oneonta.edu.