The Press-Dispatch
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/103825
Pike Publishing D-1 Happily Ever After 2013 Happily Ever After January 2013 • Bridal Guide — 8 Pages Planning a perfect Destination wedding Determining if it's right for you Destination weddings may appear to be an ideal way to tie the knot, but planning such a ceremony may be even more difficult than planning a traditional affair. Couples who choose to have a destination wedding must be ready to put a significant amount of faith in a resort's wedding planner. The wedding planner may handle many of the details concerning the ceremony and the reception, but couples should know that some of that planning will still fall on their shoulders. That planning may not be so simple, so before couples spread the word about their island wedding, it's best to consider if a destination wedding is truly the best way to go. Guests: How many guests a couple hopes to invite is a great starting point when determining if a destination wedding is for you. Many couples who choose to have a destination wedding do so because they prefer a more intimate ceremony. Destination weddings are obviously more expensive for guests than a more traditional ceremony, so many guests won't be able to afford to attend. Couples who intend to invite many guests might want to avoid a destination wedding. Locale: The destination for your destination wedding should be a locale that holds a special place in your heart. A random location that you find on the Internet might work out, but having some prior experience with the destination can help you anticipate any issues. These issues can include the accessibility of the airport, currency exchange rate and the weather. In addition, you can help guests have a better time on their trips if you have already familiarized yourself with the locale. If you haven't traveled much as a couple and don't have a particular place in mind, then you might find a destination wedding is more hassle than it's worth. Accessibility: A common problem many couples encounter when planning a destination wedding is the accessibility of their chosen locale. Couples will likely have to visit the destination at least once prior to their wedding, which will eat up some of your wedding budget and your vacation time. If the locale is a remote island that's not very accessible, that can make these pre-wedding trips stressful. Accessibility should also be a consideration for your guests. How far will your guests have to travel? How much money will guests have to spend on airfare and hotel accommodations? Accessibility of the airport is another consideration. If the resort is a long ride away from the airport, that's another expense for guests. The resort may provide a shuttle service, but that cost will fall on the couple and the shuttle may not run frequently, which can prove problematic when guests' arrivals are staggered. Legality: The law is another thing couples must consider when deciding if a destination wedding is for them. Laws vary depending on the locale, so before you commit, make sure you're legally allowed to get married there and if there are any hurdles you must clear before you can. Helpful packing pointers Packing is one aspect of a wedding that's more important to couples having a destination wedding than those getting married closer to home. Once a couple boards a plane to head off to their destination, any items left behind will stay behind. So it's important to develop a plan with respect to packing so they don't forget or damage any important elements of the wedding. Start with a checklist. Couples should develop a checklist of items they will need to bring with them. Include everything that will have to be packed, such as clothing, toiletries, jewelry, reservation information and anything else you expect to need. Check off items on this list as you pack them away, and check the list the night before you embark to make sure you have everything. Carry on especially important items. Some items are simply too important to pack. A bride's wedding gown and the groom's tuxedo fall into this category. Unfortunately, checked bags can get lost, and no bride or groom wants to arrive at their destination without their gown or tux. An airline may provide brides with a garment bag to store the wedding gown, and the gown and tux can likely be hung in the plane's closet without fear of other passengers putting items on top of them. In addition to the wedding day attire, don't store items like the wedding rings or family heirlooms in a checked bag. Carry these items in a purse or securely store them in a carry-on bag. Mail welcome packages after you return. Welcome packages are nice gestures that show your guests just how much you appreciate their being there for your big day. However, when having a destination wedding, couples may discover that their premade welcome packages are too bulky or numerous to easily fit into luggage. Instead of taking these, mail them to your guests after you return home. The packages might not be there to welcome guests, but the sentiment is still the same. Talk to the hotel in advance to see if they can help you put together a smaller package so guests are still welcomed to the destination. Be wary of shipping items ahead of you. Some couples ship some important items to their hotel ahead of time. While this might seem like an easy solution to packing welcome packages or other special items such as decorations, these items can easily get lost in the mail or stranded at customs. Shipping items ahead might seem like a great idea, but weigh the potential risks before placing important items in someone else's hands. Writing your own wedding vows A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event for many couples, so brides and grooms wish for the event to be memorable. As such, couples are increasingly integrating personal nuances into their ceremonies to tailor weddings to their unique visions. Including personalized vows continues to be a popular trend. If you are considering personalized vows, first realize that it may not be simple. That's because you want the message conveyed to be dear to your heart, and that can be challenging when faced with the pressures of wedding planning. That isn't to say that writing your own vows is impossible. Here are some guidelines for writing your own sentiments. Schedule time for writing. Amid the bustle of dress fittings and interviews with photographers, it can be easy to put off the important task of writing vows for another day. But as any great writer can attest, it takes writing -- and rewriting -- to achieve a finished product of which you can be proud of. Give the task of writing your vows your undivided attention. Mark it in on your calendar or set a reminder on your computer just as you would any other appointment. Be aware of ceremony guidelines. It is best to check with your officiant and confirm that personalized wedding vows are allowed. During civil ceremonies it's often acceptable to customize vows as you see fit. However, during religious ceremonies there may be lines of scripture that need to be read or certain passages required. Before you spend hours working on the task, be sure that it is allowed and that your spouse and you are on the same page. Jot down your feelings. Answer some questions about what marriage means to you and how you feel about your spouse. Try to avoid trite sayings and think from your heart and personal experiences. Think about what is the most important thing you want to promise to your future partner. These notes can serve as the starting points for the actual vows. Read inspirational writings. Perhaps there is an author or a poet who inspires you. You can quote certain writers in your vows or let the tone of their works help shape the words of your vows. There are also suggested wedding readings and other quotes about marriage readily available at the library or with a quick search online. Decide on a tone. Although the day is based on love and affection, you may not feel comfortable spouting words of adoration in front of friends and family. Feel free to tap into your unique personality. Humor can be used if it aligns with the way you normally express your affections. Be sure to weave this tone into more traditional passages to create a cohesive expression of your feelings. Establish an outline. Put together all of the words and phrases you've jotted down into an outline to help you organize the flow of the vows, using these words as a blueprint for the vows and building upon them. Make sure the vows will be concise. Aim for your entire speech to be around one minute in length to keep everyone engaged and the ceremony moving along. Put everything together. Draft your vows and then practice them by reading out loud. You want to avoid long sentences or anything that trips you up. Although large words may sound impressive, they could make the vows seem too academic and not necessarily heartfelt. Enlist the help of a friend or two to act as your audience to see if the vows sound good and are easily understandable. Writing your own vows can be a way to include personal expressions of love into a couple's wedding day. Public speaking is seldom easy, nor is finding the perfect words to convey feelings about a future spouse. However, with some practice and inspiration, anyone can draft personalized vows.