The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/82161
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, September 7, 2012 18 latelaughs The Tonight Show: Jay Leno Congratulations to our buddy, Sylvester Stallone. His movie "The Expendables 2" was Number 1 this past weekend. Some of you might know it by the original title: "Grumpy Old Men." President Obama said today he's working on a plan to release oil before November to lower gas prices. It will be released from our strategic election reserves. President Obama said today he is sticking with Joe Biden, which means one of two things: either he thinks Biden is doing a good job, or Hillary said no. President Obama met with Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner in the Oval Office. They agreed on a new economic plan after losing last night's big Powerball lottery. Mitt Romney is predicting that as president he will create 12 million jobs in his first term. Well, President Obama says a Romney presidency would result in lost jobs -- yeah, his and Biden's! Mitt Romney says he's never paid less than 13% in taxes, which I think is fair because only 13% of his money is in this country. Live: Jimmy Kimmel For the first time ever, the U.S. men's soccer team beat Mexico in Mexico. And Americans reacted by not caring whatsoever. Senior Citizens Day was made official by President Reagan in 1988 to recognize the contributions the elderly do for this country. It's a special holiday to remind them they are indeed old. The Princeton Review just released its annual list of top party schools in the United States. The No. 1 party college for 2012 is West Virginia University. West Virginia students today celebrated by continuing to celebrate. The Late Show: David Letterman A woman was smuggling her boyfriend into the United States from Canada. She's a Playboy Playmate. So that got me to thinking that these Playboy Playmates may not be as smart as we think they are ... They're going to arrest the poor girl as soon as they are done patting her down. busy down there in Florida auditioning minorities. Today the Republicans are getting ready for the convention. They're Paul Ryan is a dedicated congressman. He sleeps in his office. And I got to thinking: What? Isn't that what got Clinton in trouble? Late Night: Jimmy Fallon A new survey predicts that women and the elderly are more likely to vote in the presidential election -- which explains the new front runner: Michael Buble. Supermodel Gisele Bundchen revealed that she and Tom Brady are expecting their second child. They haven't confirmed if it's a boy or a girl, but they're 100 per cent certain it's better than other babies. I want to wish happy birthday to Led Zeppelin singer Robert Plant, who turns 64 years old today -- which explains his new song: "Escalator to Heaven." A new study found that about one per cent of the U.S. population is allergic to gluten, while the other 99 per cent are sick of having to hear about it.