The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/69404
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, June 8, 2012 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O'Brien Khloe Kardashian is refusing to take a paternity test to determine if she's actually a Kardashian. She said: "I think my record of fame without talent speaks for itself." A new report suggests that Christopher Columbus may have secretly been Jewish. What tipped historians off was Columbus's diary entry, where he described his journey to America as "a real schlep." Bagged salads across the country have been recalled due to contamination fears. Luckily, this is America, so none of the salads were touched. God help us if something happens to our Doritos supply! The Tonight Show: Jay Leno Two new studies have found that people who snore have a higher risk of cancer. Although in most cases, the spouse will smother them with a pillow long before the cancer takes them. Bad news for CNN: they just had their lowest rating in 15 years. Their ratings are so low that today Jesse Jackson turned them down for an interview. Al Gore has a new girlfriend. Apparently, it's getting pretty serious. He's already been over to bore her parents. Gore and his girlfriend were spotted taking long walks on the beach, measuring how much the sea is rising. The Late Show: David Letterman It's the 20th anniversary of Johnny Carson leaving "The Tonight Show." Here's a guy, Johnny Carson, the best ever, and he knew when to leave. Unlike me -- my plan is I'm going to stay here until it's sad. That Facebook guy, Mark Zuckerberg, got married over the weekend. His company goes public and he's now worth $100 billion. Then he gets married. He may not be as smart as we thought ... Facebook is worth $100 billion. Today it was friended by Greece. Live: Jimmy Kimmel There's a parking spot in the Greenwich Village area that will be priced at $1 million. I would love it if whoever buys this spot parks a 1986 Ford Taurus in it. One of the pioneers of TV passed away. Eugene Polley, who invented the wireless remote control, died at the age of 96. He created the remote in 1955. Before that, if you wanted to change the channel, you had to scream at your wife in the kitchen to come and change it. The Late, Late Show: Craig Ferguson The man who invented the TV remote has passed away at the age of 96. But here's what I'm wondering: is he dead, or does someone just need to change his batteries? According to a survey, the second-worst traffic is here in Los Angeles. I think traffic here actually moves pretty well. It only gets jammed up if something terrible happens, like a light drizzle. I admit that I get angry in traffic when driving to work. But it's pointless -- it's much better to bottle up that anger and then unleash it when you get to work.