Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/574519
8 LIVE IT UP! THURSDAY, JULY 30, 2015 SANTA CRUZ SENTINEL Downsizing: Senior Real Estate Advice D ownsizing. It's not a glamorous term. And when it comes time to leave the large family home, many of us find ourselves at an intellectual and emotional crossroads. Let's look at why. The practical: Maybe you or your folks are a little more fragile; a tiny bit unstable. Slipping on a tub wall or catching a toe in a shower curb could have long-term consequences. Maybe the driveway is too long now to take out the trash. Maybe that second story bedroom is too many stairs away. Maybe it's just too lonely out in the country. The fiscal: Maybe you're tired of paying for insurance and utilities on a 10 to 14-room house when you are only in the living room, kitchen and master suite daily. Maybe the property tax rate is great, but the maintenance is too overwhelming and living with tall grass and weeds and chipped gutters is messing with your self esteem. The familial: Maybe your kids are not coming home as often. Is it realistic to maintain all this for one holiday gathering? Maybe you kids are encouraging you to move in with them? Maybe you want your folks near you so you can care for them. If Mom is getting forgetful, proximity is a key driver. The emotional: This is the proverbial 100-pound gorilla. This is where the train of rational thought hits the brakes. This is where the heart says, "No way". Why? A home is a wrapper for all that you perceive yourself to be. Remember when you checked the survey box "Homeowner" for the first time after renting? That's a proud moment. The same concept of self is thwacked when you give up "the big house". It and you have been the hub all these years. You were the giving tree. You called the shots. And then, somehow, you got benched. Or you benched your parents. Either way it's a moment in time when you surrender your identity to this new thing. A retiree? A pensioner? A senior? An elder? None of them sound great. It's not the house. It's the identity and memories crafted around it. What do you do with all the markers of times, the tears and the joy? How do you relinquish the container that held the evolution of your life? Walking away is just hard. Yet people feel silly revealing that. It's emotional and maybe even sad until you realize you have 20 to 40 great years left. Home maintenance is a responsibility that gets in the way of travel, relaxation, being a better grandparent, volunteering in the community. A house can be a time drain, a resource sucker, an unnecessary hobbler of your freedom. House be gone! And just like that, my clients will come to me and say, "I'm ready!" or " I don't know why I made it such a big deal". But this internal shift is invisible and not linear. It has its own timeline and it moves back and forth. My advice is don't let anyone push you around; and if you are the pusher, give your parents time. Keep in mind there is purpose and dignity in the back half of life. Know that accepting less responsibility doesn't make you irresponsible. Leisure is not akin to uselessness. Recalibrate, remodel, repurpose, scale back, trim down and look with joy at this new fabulous chapter on the horizon. Terry Ballantyne is a full-time realtor with over 17 years of experience in with a focus on downsizing. For more, visit www.navigatingolderhood.com. by Terry Ballantyne, The Sereno Group