The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/57226
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, March 2, 2012 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O'Brien Fast food chain Jack in the Box has introduced a bacon milkshake. This is all part of Jack in the Box's new "Die Happy Meal." In an interview, Joan Rivers said she's had 739 surgical procedures. In fact, she started out as a man from Kenya. A mother in China gave birth to a 15-pound baby. Chinese officials say it's so big, it can do the work of two babies. A new product that's coming out lets you consume caffeine by inhaling it. The product brings Starbucks one step closer to its ultimate dream: charging $9 for air. The Tonight Show: Jay Leno Rick Santorum says that he is what the Republicans really want. Mitt Romney says now that he knows what Republicans want, he can change to those positions. Mitt Romney was at a loss to explain why he dropped the ball. In fact, his wife is now blaming it on the New England Patriot receivers. Jack in the Box just came out with a bacon milkshake. Why don't they just change their name to Jack in the Coffin?! Live: Jimmy Kimmel When it rains here in Los Angeles, everyone freaks out. The roads are a mess, traffic is terrible. People start driving like Lindsay Lohan on a horse tranquilizer An estimated 1 million people showed up to celebrate and be part of the New York Giants victory parade. Didn't Clint Eastwood say we're supposed to get back to work? There's really no reason for anyone to drop out of the Republican race. If you wind up in fourth place, you become a regular contributor on Fox News. You come in third, you get your own show on Fox News. The Late Show: David Letterman Newt Gingrich has criticized "New York elites" who ride the subway. Well one of those subway "elites" threw up on my pants this morning. Happy birthday to Zsa Zsa Gabor -- she's 95 years old. I thought she did a great job at the Super Bowl halftime. Late Night: Jimmy Fallon I think the "Hoosier Hospitality" really rubbed off on me. Today, I held the subway door open for like six rats that were trying to get in. A recent study found that people lie more when they are texting. Yeah, especially that one lie: "Sorry, just got your text!" According to new research, playing iPhone games like "Angry Birds" and "Words With Friends" can improve your memory. Yeah, it can help you remember distant events like the last time you actually talked to a person. A new survey found that the average guy will spend about $200 on Valentine's Day. Yep, that's $20 for flowers and $180 for last-minute flower delivery!