The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/53854
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, January 27, 2012 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O'Brien There's a plan for the Pentagon to cut almost half a trillion dollars from the military. The Pentagon plans to pay for future wars by divorcing Kobe Bryant. Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is under fire for a remark he made in Iowa about black people. The remark has sparked outrage among Iowa's black community, otherwise known as Steve. A Chicago man has been arrested for taking off all of his clothes in a movie theatre showing "Chipwrecked." It's being called the second most offensive thing kids had to see in that theatre. The Tonight Show: Jay Leno Police have detained a suspect in a huge string of arson attacks. This guy was going around Los Angeles setting dozens of cars on fire. And he was setting the cars on fire the old-fashioned way: without a Lakers championship! Rick Santorum's campaign is celebrating the Iowa caucuses with a pizza party. Here's the embarrassing part: it was delivered by Herman Cain. Experts say traffic deaths are down because the bad economy means more cars are being repossessed, and all the unemployment means we don't have as many people driving to work. So you know what that means? The White House economic plan is also their highway safety plan! The Late Show: David Letterman Forty per cent of the people of Iowa are undecided about who to select as a Republican candidate for president. Thank goodness we have three dozen debates. CBS News predicted the winner of the Iowa Republican caucuses: President Obama. There's already controversy with the Iowa caucuses. About a half hour ago, they found eight more votes for Al Gore. Live: Jimmy Kimmel Do people still make New Year's resolutions? I feel like the advent of the Triple Double Oreo put an end to those but I could be wrong... My resolution this year is to do everything I can to help Kim Kardashian finally find love. More Americans bought Christmas gifts online this year than ever before -- which means more Americans are returning gifts online than ever before. They say the day people go back to work after the holidays was the most depressing day of the year. Funny thing: people who don't have jobs are depressed because they don't have one, and those of us who do are depressed that we do. The Late, Late Show: Craig Ferguson Near Antarctica, scientists just discovered some new undersea creatures. I believe this deep sea discovery is yet more evidence of the wonderful bio-diversity in our oceans that we have to clear out if we're going to get at that tasty crude oil. It's a great day for this show -- it's the seventh anniversary! The show's age has finally reached the age of the audience's maturity level.