The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/48542
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, November 25, 2011 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O'Brien A man from Kenya won the New York marathon. This was a huge upset because everybody thought a different man from Kenya would win. The Tonight Show: Jay Leno Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty of giving Michael Jackson an overdose of a prescription sleeping aid. The sedative he prescribed was said to be five times more powerful than a Joe Biden speech. On this day in 1922, King Tut's tomb was discovered, and the men who discovered it are still considered the greatest fortune hunters of all time -- not counting the woman who claimed Justin Bieber is the father of her baby. I don't think Herman Cain is well-versed on foreign affairs. A reporter asked him how he would handle Greece, and he said he would just put an extra layer of wax paper under the pizza. Radar Online is reporting that the whole time that Kim Kardashian was married to NBA player Kris Humphries, she was actually still in love with the Dolphins' Reggie Bush. Actually, it would be smart for Reggie Bush to go back to marry Kim, because let's face it -- as a Miami Dolphin, that's the only way he's going to get a ring this year. Herman Cain said he would be willing to take a lie-detector test. But that's kind of a double-edged sword. If he fails, his career is over. And if he passes and it turns out he's not a liar, he's obviously not cut out for politics. The Late Show: David Letterman A giant asteroid is rocketing toward the earth. This only happens, like, once in a century. It's so rare, it's like a guilty verdict from a Los Angeles jury. They don't think Conrad Murray will do any jail time, but he will go to work in the prison system, however. They think he'll be in charge of lethal injections. So let's see: Michael Jackson's personal physician is found guilty, but Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon walks away free?! How does that happen?? They sentenced Lindsay Lohan to prison for 30 days and she did five hours. I just pray that she can make it on the outside now! On the bright side, just a few more mug shots and Lindsay will have enough for a calendar! Live: Jimmy Kimmel The latest castoff from "Dancing With the Stars," Herman Cain, is here with us tonight. No, wait, I'm sorry, that's a joke from next year. A 1,300-foot wide rock just missed the earth and not a single one of us even looked up from our cellphones to see it. We only care about flying objects when they're angry birds. The asteroid missed the earth, fortunately, but the president had Bruce Willis, Michael Bay and Aerosmith standing by just in case. There's a fifth woman that claims to have had a problem with Herman Cain. If this keeps up, it seems very unlikely he will be president, although it seems more and more likely he will become governor of California. The Late, Late Show: Craig Ferguson An 83-year-old male prostitute was arrested. Police say he only charged $20 an hour but for most of that time, he just talked about his grandkids.