The O-town Scene - Oneonta, NY
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/31966
‘11 Harrowhouse’ (1972) is a well-plotted diamond heist Early on, the softly candid voice of Howard R. Chesser (Charles Grodin) makes one of many admissions: “I’d never done anything really seriously wrong, but, then again, I was never given the opportunity.” “11 Harrowhouse” amounts to his lightly confessional (and our escapist) chronicle of that criminal road not taken; or, rather, the safe so rarely looted. Grodin’s narration is so conversational, so engagingly reasonable, that we’re soon drawn into his existence _ and the eventual uber- heist that comes to consume it. The film is a quietly-dreaded dragon’s den of hoarded diamonds, the Mecca to which carbon peddlers like Howard have to periodically make reluctant pilgrimages if they hope to continue to so unhappily plod along in their trade. If Chesser is the sad patron saint of mild-mannered, painfully self-aware middle-men, then his colleague-cum-nemesis Mee- cham (John Gielgud) is the quintessential diamond-encrusted old dean of Harrowhouse University, a peerless (and pretty merciless) professional miser. “Thin the value by 20 percent, keep the price the same,” Meecham instructs trusted Team Har- rowhouse employee Charles D. Watts (James Mason) concern- ing Chesser. It’s a truly cut-and-dried directive to stick it to a long-time, less-than-valued customer. Meecham hails Howard’s dad as having been “a punctual, reliable man,” but deems the son lacking _ Harrowhouse does not shy away from being seen as Your Father’s Diamond Em- porium. Meecham clearly relishes holding out on Chesser _ it’s his own conservative means of getting his semi-precious rocks off. Gielgud (quite reliably!) paints an impeccable portrait of the icily nasty sophisticate. His cold delight even allows him a quick smirk as the diminished gleam of what’s going down dawns on Chesser Junior, who soon sees there’s slightly less compressed coal in his expensive Christmas stocking this time around. The shared trauma of Meecham’s sanctioned, slow-motion mugging makes it that much more appealing for them to contemplate an act of authentically epic, infinitely more daring Vintage Video by Sam Benedict Meecham clearly relishes holding out on Chesser _ it’s his own conservative means of getting his semi-precious rocks off. robbery in return. Both characters have more pressing motivations to try and liberate about $12 billion from the Harrowhouse bowels: Watts, who’s been toiling for the mysterious “System” for nearly three decades, is terminally ill. His prognosis, unfortunately, fails to conform to the company calendar _ he’ll most likely pass away just before the 30 year clause kicks in, which would release much-needed benefits to his family. Then there’s a bid to sculpt an absolutely monstrous jewel, followed by some blackmail and then a plan to pilfer Harrowhouse’s whole sparkling surplus from its fancy basement. “11 Harrowhouse” makes sure to set the stakes from the very beginning: its first scene (which a narrating Chesser takes into account) depicts a pair of enterprising thieves who seemingly escape The System’s grasp with System stash, only to promptly explode when they try to take a peep at their winnings (a side-effect of some diamonds, apparently). As Chesser and his recklessly adventurous sidekick sneak so precariously up onto 11’s roof, he sets about bugging the place _ in the sense that he literally sends intrepid insect sentries (one painted red, the other white) down through the electrical system in search of entry points. “Would you keep an eye open for a hand-painted cockroach?” Chesser philosophically asks Watts. When the prophecy of colorful infestation comes to pass (through the fuse box), Watts silently marvels at the tiny miracle of forecasted scarlet critter, making for an offered slice of chocolate cake (also per Chesser’s cryptic instructions). Truly, watercolor-on-exoskeleton _ not to mention cockroach-racing _ are lost arts, but pretty barbaric practices probably best abandoned. Gone Running by Danielle Tonner Keep going, even if you don’t think you can Life gets hectic. I have been working full time while also trying to finish up my master’s degree. All I have left is my final project defense. Yes, I have officially submitted my thesis to my mentor, who will likely wield her bright red pen all over my 52 pages. I am quite certain that once everyone has read this project over and given me their suggestions for improvement that it will easily surpass 60 pages of blood, sweat and tears. And on top of everything, I’ve also finished staining my 20 O-Town Scene May 19, 2011 deck (thanks, Mom), painted my interior and exterior doors, kept up (well, sort of) with the daily household chores and have continued to run. Have you heard the expression, “Hitting the wall?” Well, I did. I had some sort of a paralyzing breakdown. “I can’t do this!” _ ask my husband how many times he heard this in the last few months and he’ll either tell you “too many times to count” or he’ll care- fully look over his shoulder to make sure the crazy lady (me) isn’t lurking around waiting for his answer. I got burnt out. It reminded me of the people who run marathons and talk about how at some point in the race they hit that proverbial wall and feel like they cannot make it. I’d bet 99 percent really do make it to the finish, though. How? Well, I will tell you this. We are so much more capable than we even know. Our Harrowhouse’s writers (Jeffrey Bloom penned the screenplay, based on a Gerald A. Browne novel) shrewdly stud their story with entertaining details, not to mention fascinating specificities about the gem trade. Charles Grodin himself handled the adaptation from book to script; the Chesser character and his journey _ from “truly dedicated spectator” to similarly driven fugitive _ feels custom-cut for his considerable talents. Chesser will end up frantically on the run _ reliably accompanied by the indefatigable cynicism of Grodin’s own running commentary. Whether it’s this jewel- stealing role that led to his villainous appear- ance in “The Great Muppet Caper” (1981) that saw Grodin become so obscenely smitten with Miss Piggy _ we can only wonder. The disarmingly self-deprecating quality of Gro- din’s narration works in Harrowhouse’s favor, a fairly droll take on the action movie in which the understand- ably terrified “comic relief” finds himself thrust into the lead role, opposite a loving, thrill-seeking leading lady. Even if the film treads a few feet from the excruciat- ing comedian-woos-model-turned-actress formula, few “male fantasy” alarms are tripped. By presenting Howard and Marlen as a mature, established couple from the start, Har- rowhouse spares us any queasy courtship subplot; plus, Bergen and Grodin have an endearing, convincing chemistry in any case. Hopefully none of the Adam Sandlers of the Movie-verse stumble upon this picture and brilliantly “re-boot” it. I’m always an advocate for less romantic interlude; insisting upon even less than “Harrowhouse” allows, however, might well amount to gilding the garishly-brushed cockroach. _ Sam Benedict Grade: B+ physical and mental capacity is extraordi- nary. About a year ago I decided I wanted to run my first half marathon. If you had told me “Hey, Danielle, you’re going to be going to work full time, taking graduate school course- work, raising your child and participating in his ‘stuff’ like sports and Cub Scouts all the while training for a half marathon (read: get- ting up at 6 a.m. on weekends to get ready so you can be out in a freezing cold blizzard to run 12 miles) and fundraising over $2,000 for the Arthritis Foundation … oh, and yeah, you will still have that herniated disc in your back,” well, I would have choked with laugh- ter _ that’s impossible! But, it was possible, and I got through it. Now, after all that why the heck did I think I couldn’t make it through the last few weeks? I hit the wall, mentally. I was just exhausted. I’m sure the lack of sunshine and the nine- month-long winter we had here in Oneonta didn’t help matters. But, thanks to the support of my husband and my friends I was able to do everything and even continue to run. I had to make sac- rifices, though. Like missing my son scoring two goals in soccer so I could finish staining the deck, but overall I’m satisfied. I’m still making exercise a priority, just in a different way. I am no longer running long runs. Instead, I am doing speed work. And I even have a new goal _ to run a 5K in less than 30 minutes. As soon as I do that I am going to shift gears and start training for a half marathon again. Danielle Tonner is a higher education professional and a runner.