The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/30513
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, April 29, 2011 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O’Brien It’s starting to look like Donald Trump might be a serious presidential candidate. If you’re in my line of work, Trump running for president for real is the greatest thing that has ever happened! According to a new CNN poll, Trump nearly doubled his support from March. Although technically, all he did was just comb his March numbers over his current ones. Political experts are saying NBC should take “Celebrity Apprentice” off the air because if Trump runs for president, he could use it as an unfair platform. Because nothing says “leader of the free world” like someone who can’t stop a fight between Meat Loaf and Gary Busey. Applebee’s has apologized for serving a toddler a cupful of tequila. They then apologized for serving the rest of the family food made by Applebee’s. In a recent interview, President Obama said “I miss being anonymous.” He said that, in the old days, he could blend in with all the other Hawaiian Barack Obamas. The Pentagon made a big announcement, that openly gay soldiers will begin serving this summer. When people asked why this summer, the Army said, “Because ‘Glee’ will be in reruns.” The Tonight Show: Jay Leno A New Zealand airline is now offering what they call “cuddle class.” Don’t all airlines have cuddle class? It’s called “coach.” Economists say sharp increases in energy and food prices will lead to higher inflation. But prices are actually falling on a lot of items, like Charlie Sheen tickets. According to the Federal Trade Commission, for the 11th year in a row the No. 1 consumer complaint? Identity theft. President Obama said: “This is why you should never show anyone your birth certificate.” Gas has gone up 20 cents just this week. Shouldn’t we stop calling it crude oil at this point and just call it obscene oil?! Obama said in an interview that he really misses being anonymous. If he really wanted to remain anonymous, he should have run for vice-president! President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country’s richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before! The Late Show: David Letterman I’m 64 years old today ... Lindsay Lohan was very sweet about it. She heard it was my birthday, so she went and stole a tie for me. Congratulations to the 2011 Masters champion, Charl Schwartzel. Tiger Woods looked good -- came in fourth -- still a pretty good paycheque for his ex-wife. Live: Jimmy Kimmel Republicans and Democrats agreed on a budget deal and a short-term funding extension to keep this country not moving forward. It’s the beginning of the 37th annual National Volunteer Week. So, does anyone feel like doing my laundry for me? Donald Trump insists that he is going to run for president. I guess he figures if he can pull off that hairstyle, he can do anything.