The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/29432
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, April 15, 2011 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O’Brien A new study shows that women start to feel old at 29, but men don’t feel old until they’re 58. This explains at least two of Larry King’s marriages. Donald Trump might be running for president and he just released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as “blue” and his hair as “ridiculous.” The man known as the French Spider-Man successfully climbed the world’s tallest building. When he was asked to consider performing in the Spider-Man musical, he said: “Too dangerous!” The Tonight Show: Jay Leno President Obama addressed the nation on Libya. This changes his previous policy on Libya, which was “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” In the wake of record losses, the U.S. Postal Service announced it is cutting 7,500 jobs. But today a spokesman for the post office said those positions could be restored if this whole e-mail thing turns out to be nothing but a fad. The American Academy of Pediatrics warns of a new condition called Facebook Depression. They say kids who are depressed get more depressed when they see everyone else having fun on Facebook. You know who has a really bad case of Facebook Depression? The CEO of MySpace! The inventor of super glue has passed away at the age of 94. The service will be closed-casket unless they can pry it open. We’re down to the Final 4 now: only four Middle East countries we haven’t attacked! Obama is being criticized by both parties for not having a clear strategy to get out of Libya. But neither does Moammar Gadhafi, so it’s OK. Over a million female employees are suing Walmart, claiming that women are paid less than men. Walmart denied the claim, saying they underpay all their employees equally. The Late Show: David Letterman Lindsay Lohan is dropping her last name. From now on, she will just go by the name of “Defendant.” Regis Philbin and Snoop Dogg are on the show tonight. One is hip, and one has a new hip. Live: Jimmy Kimmel President Obama escalated the war in Afghanistan. He sent the Navy in to shoot at pirates in the Indian Ocean, and now he’s attacking Libya. It’s like he took the Nobel Peace Prize as an insult. Natalie Portman’s body double from “Black Swan” said the actress only appeared in 5 per cent of the full-body dance scenes in the movie. How do we know it’s Natalie’s body that’s actually pregnant now? Britney Spears is on the show. This is actually Britney’s second appearance at the show. She hasn’t been here in about two kids The Late, Late Show: Craig Ferguson Prince William had a bachelor party at a hidden mansion. It was apparently Prince Harry that set up the party. He’s supposed to be the crazy brother -- if William was Dennis Quaid, Harry would be Randy Quaid.