The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/28939
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, April 8, 2011 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O’Brien The Fox network is reportedly considering giving Charlie Sheen his own talk show. Charlie’s talk show would be the only show with a 30-hour monologue. It’s the first day of air strikes on Libya, which is costing us more than $100 million. Or in Moammar Gadhafi terms: five Beyonce concerts. It’s being reported that Moammar Gadhafi is surrounded by an elite core of female bodyguards. In a related story, Charlie Sheen invaded Libya. The president of Guatemala says that after he leaves office, he’s going to divorce his wife so that he can help her run for president. When he heard this, Bill Clinton said: “Darn, that is genius!” Lindsay Lohan’s father was arrested in West Hollywood. He was immediately placed in the county jail’s Lohan wing. Mattel has announced that they are going to update the Ken doll to be based on a real-life football player. Which explains why the new Ken doll has already fathered 10 Skippers by 8 Barbies. Here in California, marijuana farmers are worried that radiation from Japan could affect their crops. Or for some reason, maybe those marijuana farmers are just being paranoid? They announced the official name of the U.S. military action in Libya and it’s called “Operation Odyssey Dawn.” ... It’s the first military action ever to be named by Crabtree & Evelyn. The Tonight Show: Jay Leno Obama said we will send economic aid to Libya to help the Libyan people reach their dreams. And if that works, they’ll try it here. It’s one humiliation after another for Moammar Gadhafi. First his own people started rising up against him, then his compound was bombed, and now he’s getting beaten up by the French. Sarah Palin canceled her scheduled trip to Bethlehem, which of course is the birthplace of Jesus. Seems at the last minute, she realized there was no proof he was born there because he never produced a birth certificate. Germany has pulled its forces out of NATO over Libya. When the Germans don’t want to fight and the French do, the whole world is upside down. We’re fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we’d be fighting if President Obama hadn’t won the Nobel Peace Prize. The Late Show: David Letterman Charlie Sheen sold out Radio City Music Hall twice. That’s 12,000 people -- winning! Now he’s got two weeks to come up with a show -- nervous! Gas prices are going crazy. In fact, ABC has a new show called “Carpooling With the Stars.” Live: Jimmy Kimmel President Obama has to cut his trip to Latin America short because of the situation in Libya ... and to check on his NCAA brackets.