The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/26983
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, March 11, 2011 12 latelaughs Conan: Conan O’Brien History at the Daytona 500: 20-year-old Trevor Bayne became the youngest person ever to win the Daytona 500. Even more incredible? He was texting the whole time. President Obama filled in as the coach this weekend for his daughter Sasha’s basketball team. Sasha apparently listened to her dad because all she did was drive straight down the centre and anger everybody. Texas is reportedly going to give college students the right to carry guns on campus. So I guess next semester, every college student in Texas is getting straight A’s! Toyota sponsored an online contest to determine what the plural of Prius is, and the winner is “Prii.” The loser, of course, is everyone who wasted time on this stupid contest. In Malaysia, police arrested three men for stealing over 700,000 condoms. Police described the thieves as “overly optimistic.” President Obama met with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in Silicon Valley yesterday. Zuckerberg said he could create new jobs. The bad news? They’re all in Farmville. Justin Bieber has gotten a haircut and donated his famous bangs to charity. Upon receiving the bangs, the people of Darfur said “Thanks?...” AAA’S TRAVEL SALE MARCH 18-19, 2011 Save up to $100* on already-reduced cruises & tours plus: FREE onboard credits FREE upgrades Discounted theme-park tickets Airline service fees waived** & much more! BONUS OFFER: SAVE 20% on all name-brand luggage including: Samsonite, Delsey, American Tourister*** Book your next vacation with AAA Travel A/ Olsego Manor B/Farmhouse 2 x 2.5 The Tonight Show: Jay Leno President Obama had dinner with some of the top tech executives: the CEO of Facebook, the CEO of Apple, the CEO of Oracle, and their waiter, the CEO of MySpace. A Delta flight from Fort Lauderdale to Minneapolis had to make an emergency landing after one of the engines disintegrated soon after takeoff. To tell you how scary it was, each ANIMALS BEATLES BUS STOP CILLA DAVE CLARK FIVE DONOVAN DOWNTOWN DUSTY ENG. HEART FULL OF SOUL HERMAN’S HERMITS HOLLIES HONEYCOMBS I KNOW A PLACE KINKS LOVE ME DO LULU Green Earth 2 x 2.5 195 Oneida Street, Oneonta 607/441-5022 AAA.com/Sale 72 Elm Street, Cooperstown 607/547-2519 *Valid on new vacation package bookings of $3,000 or more made at AAA New York with AAA preferred tour operators. Sale ends 3/19/11. Other restrictions may apply. **Airline service fees will be waived for all airline tickets purchased in conjunction with the vacation package or cruise. ***Not valid on clearance items. Coupon code: TS0311. †AAA Best Price Guarantee: Bring us a legitimate cruise or vacation package quote for one of our preferred cruise or tour operators for any 2011 cruise or land vacation 3-nights or more. If we cannot match the price, we’ll give you $100 upon receipt of appropriate documentation showing completed travel. Not valid on internet or group bookings. MANFRED MANN MARIANNE MOODY BLUES PETULA SDG STONES THEM TOM TREMELOES TROGGS WHO YARDBIRDS YOU REALLY GOT ME ZOMBIES passenger was later charged a $15 seat- cleaning charge. There is a new proposal in San Francisco to ban circumcision. This proposal to ban circumcision is getting a lot of support: according to the latest poll, 100 percent of newborn males support this proposal. The Late Show: David Letterman Do you know this story about President Lincoln that is supposedly true: that he once walked three miles when he was young to repay back a penny? That makes him the last president to do anything about the debt! All over the world, there’s a real threat to tyrannical dictators who have used brutal tactics to seize power. You know, the one who ought to be worried about this is Leno! Kentucky Fried Chicken is changing its slogan from “Finger Lickin’ Good” to “Artery Clogging Good.” KFC changes their slogan just about every 50 years -- just like their fryer oil. tvsearch British Invasion s n A/ EdTeleky Jeweler B/ Robynwood 1 x 4” From the list, find each word and circle its letters in the puzzle above to reveal the message relating to this week’s subject. n L o i i f ! s e . i I s O r A o c e c w t a . e i t promises THE best price for your cruise or tour— guaranteed!† Guarantee AAA Best Price