The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/57932
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, March 9, 2012 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O'Brien Paramount Pictures just announced they're going to come out with "Transformers 4." You might like it: in the new movie, "Transformers 3" transforms itself into a good movie. President Obama is in Los Angeles hoping to raise $3 million -- which may be why I saw him in the audience line this morning at "The Price Is Right." A group of Democratic fundraisers is offering a dinner with the president for $35,800. Unfortunately, the only person in America who can afford it is Mitt Romney. Reality star Michelle Duggar, who has 19 children, now says she'd like to try to have more kids. Coincidentally, while she was giving the interview, three more just fell out of her. The Tonight Show: Jay Leno The new sports phenom, New York Knicks' player Jeremy Lin, came off the bench and helped win six games, including a last-second shot to defeat the Toronto Raptors. Where else but America can you drink a German beer and watch a Taiwanese basketball player on your Japanese TV beat a team from Canada? The vice-president of China showed up at the White House today. That's what happens when you get behind on the rent -- the landlord shows up and starts looking around. The Late, Late Show: Craig Ferguson I had to go to the doctor for my annual physical. My doctor has seen me go from unemployed actor to unemployed actor with a talk show. He said I have the arteries of a 35-year-old, a 20-year-old's metabolism, and a 10-year-old's sense of humor. The Late Show: David Letterman Fashion Week is just winding up, but for a 10-day period there were supermodels everywhere in New York City. You could not get celery or crackers anywhere! A couple in South Carolina got married in a Walmart. Did you realize the cashiers could legally marry people in Walmart? And keep in mind: if you're looking for a wedding on a budget, you get the wedding videotape from the store's surveillance camera. Late Night: Jimmy Fallon Rick Santorum said women might not be suited for military action because their emotions aren't suited for combat. Which can mean only one thing: he's never seen an episode of "The View." Donald Trump is criticizing the Scottish government for trying to build a wind farm near his golf resort. That makes sense. I mean, if you look at Trump's hair, wind is clearly his worst enemy! A 3-year-old boy in Australia climbed inside a toy claw machine. Yeah, it got even weirder when Brad and Angelina showed up and tried to win him. Saturday Night Live Weekend Update: Seth Meyers NBC's highly promoted series "Smash" won its time-slot Monday night, beating out CBS's "Hawaii Five-0." So get ready for two new NBC series: "Smash: Criminal Intent" and "Smash: SVU."