The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/27505
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, March 18, 2011 18 latelaughs Conan: Conan O’Brien Charlie Sheen’s publicist resigned. I don’t know about you, but now I’m really excited to see what Charlie is like now that he can say whatever he wants! Christina Aguilera was arrested for public intoxication. Police knew she was drunk because she got all the words to the national anthem right. Kirstie Alley is joining the cast of “Dancing With the Stars.” Protesting that decision is the floor from “Dancing With the Stars.” Oprah has been invited by the new government in Egypt to do a show in Cairo. Great, so they’ve replaced one power-mad tyrant who’s been ruling for 30 years with another one. Kim Kardashian released her first pop single on the radio. The song’s being put out on the new record label Why-God-Why?! In New York City, Keith Richards’ daughter was arrested for writing graffiti on a wall. You’d think Keith Richards’ daughter would have known better, given the fact that she’s 78 years old. The Tonight Show: Jay Leno One of the most talked about moments from the Oscars was when they used technology to make it appear as if Bob Hope was alive. That’s the same technology they’ll use at Hugh Hefner’s wedding. A federal watchdog agency says that overlapping and duplicate programs waste billions of dollars each year. Congress is taking this study so seriously that they’re ordering a second study to look into it. The man who shot Robert Kennedy, Sirhan Sirhan, now says he should be released from jail because he can’t remember committing the crime. Today, Lindsay Lohan said “What necklace?” The Late Show: David Letterman “King Kong” opened 78 years ago. It’s the story of a woman that gets carried away by an ape -- the same thing happened to Maria Shriver. Moammar Gadhafi said his people “still love him.” I think that’s what he said ... it was hard to hear over the rebel gunfire. The Late, Late Show: Craig Ferguson Christina Aguilera was arrested for public intoxication. Apparently, Aguilera was stumbling and incoherent, which makes her perfect to host next year’s Oscars. I’ve got to say, the show “Walker: Texas Ranger” never made sense to me. In a state where everyone carries a gun, he’s a ranger armed with only karate? I love the song “All My Exes Live in Texas,” but there should be a sequel: “All My Ex-Spouses Own My Houses.” Late Night: Jimmy Fallon A new study found that a small nuclear war could actually reverse the effects of global warming. I don’t want to sound selfish, but that sounds easier than going through my garbage.