Jersey Shore Magazine

J e r s e y s h o r e • S P R I N G 2 0 2 3 10 10 " L e t u s t ak e a j o u r n e y do w n t h e S h ore t o s ee w h a t w e c a n f i n d… " Common Ground Grief Center Compassion and Support for Grieving Children and Teens W hile we may wish otherwise, death is part of the human experience. Dealing with the loss of a loved one may be extremely challeng- ing, but for children and teens, who grieve differently from adults, such an experience can be terribly trau- matic, negatively changing the course of their lives. Located in Manasquan, the Common Ground Grief Center's mission is to provide support in a safe place where children, teens, young adults, and their families grieving a death can come together and share their experiences as they begin the journey through the grief process. Common Ground's founder and executive director is Lynn Snyder, LPC, ATR-BC, FT, a licensed profes- sional counselor who specializes in the field of childhood bereavement. Snyder saw a lack of ongoing sup- port services for grieving children and teens in a time when a series of teen and young adult suicide deaths rocked the Jersey Shore. Her desire to provide a nurturing and caring place where children with similar expe- riences of loss could come together and begin to heal by sharing their stories led to the center's birth. Jonathan Suska Children at the Common Ground Grief Center in Manasquan prepare for the start of their group. "When I first began the center, it was a dream and a passion," Snyder said. "We started with just three kids in the basement of a local church." After outgrowing that location in the first year, Common Ground settled at its current site on Taylor Avenue in Manasquan. The program grows larg- er with each passing year. "We now offer thirteen support groups with nearly sixty volunteers to help facilitate those groups, and serve over 160 children and teens each month who come from various parts of Monmouth and Ocean Counties," she said. Common Ground provides sup- port groups for children and teens between the ages of six and eighteen, as well as a group for young adults ages nineteen to thirty. Groups are comprised of similarly aged youth and teens who have experienced loss- es due to illness, accidents, suicides, or homicides. Snyder explained, "Most children and teens who have experienced the death of their parent or sibling need to feel understood and less alone. They typically don't know many kids who have had a parent or sibling die. The power of connection and of looking around the room at a whole group of kids who 'get it' is some- what of a relief to them." Oftentimes, while family units grieve together, each member of that unit grieves in his or her own way, which can leave children feeling iso- lated. "Surviving parents are often in the throes of their own grief, and at times, can be emotionally unavailable for their grieving child," Snyder said. Common Ground's peer support programs provide an outlet for their feelings to be validated and to be heard. "They are in a room full of kids just like them and are among caring adults that know how to listen," she said. "They know it's a safe space to express any and all feel- ings, especially the really hard ones. They can grow and thrive through adversity, given the proper outlet and support systems." Groups meet every other week for ninety minutes. Children engage in talking circles, art, play, sandplay, and games to assist them in coping with their grief. Snyder explained that the organization views their program as "prevention" in mental health care, meaning that children and teens who keep their feelings hidden can be pre-disposed to chal- lenges such as depression, poor aca- demic performance in school, anx- iety, and substance abuse. "Helping kids process their loss and those very strong feelings within the safety of their group and with those who really understand helps them cope in a pos- itive way," she said. Snyder noted that grief can some- times be more challenging for teens as they face many milestones in high school that can be constant remind- ers of their loss, such as shopping for a prom dress, learning to drive, searching for the right college or post-high school opportunity, and most importantly, looking out in the audience at graduation and not see- ing their loved one who was supposed to be there. "I think people are always sur- BEACHCOMBER

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