The Brainerd Dispatch - Today's Entertainment Magazine
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/1492958
12 • February 19 - 25, 2023 • Brainerd Dispatch The Late Show With Stephen Colbert So now both Joe Biden and Mike Pence have been found to have material dating from the time that they were vice- president. This never used to happen. Previous veeps had methods to dispose of this kind of thing: Al Gore would immediately recycle documents and Dick Cheney, of course, would shoot them in the face. As a market watcher, I've been a bit worried because a lot of folks out there have been forecasting a coming recession. Well, today [Jan. 26] we've got some positive news, because in the last quarter of 2022, the GDP increased 2.9%, ladies and gentlemen. Unexpected. Nobody saw that coming. We're all 2.9% richer and I'm gonna blow it on 2.9 eggs. The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon A dozen classified documents were just found at Mike Pence's house in Indiana. The craziest part about these documents that were found, they were found stuffed between a dozen Wu-Tang albums. When the news broke, Pence was so embarrassed he turned clear. Apparently, Pence brought the documents home when he blacked out during a 3 a.m. milk binge. Everyone's still talking about all the classified documents that keep popping up, and now spokespeople are saying that, until the end of their terms, all classified documents were returned by Obama, Bush and Clinton. In other words, we're five minutes away from learning that they found documents at the homes of Obama, Bush and Clinton. Meanwhile, when asked if he had any classified documents, Dick Cheney put his heart into sleep mode. 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