Jersey Shore Magazine
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/141619
Survivor's Guilt by Donna Clapp photo by Margie moore hat I feel most about Hurricane need, maybe not on everyone's part, Sandy's aftermath is…guilty. I but certainly on my part. I was born live in Red Bank, and to be honest, near the ocean, in South Hampton, although the storm was really scary New York, and while I've lived many during the two days we were in the places, I'm always happiest when midst of it, I incurred no damage. No I'm close enough to take a quick ride trees down, no water damage, and we down to the beach to feel the sand only lost electricity for three days. between my toes. I have friends whose homes were My in-laws had a house on Long devastated by the storm, and when I Beach Island and so many of my see pictures of the towns like Union husband's birthdays were celebrated Beach and Seaside Heights, I feel at Bay Village. We spent many hours nothing but guilt. on the beach or walking to the light Directly after the storm, we had house in Barnegat Light. And one of friends stay over who had lost their our favorite things to do was to walk electricity. Different friends stayed on the beach in Sandy Hook in the fall different nights, and we fed them and when everyone else went back home. did what we could to comfort and We also spent a lot of time at the alleviate the stress of the storm. My Asbury Park and Belmar boardwalks, husband and I went up to Keyport walking the planks, getting some when they had the Halloween party exercise, while admiring the gorgeous for the children of Union Beach, and we provided them with face painting since many of them had no Halloween costumes. It was the best night! We loved to be able to provide something. So, as you can see, I've done some volunteer work, donated money, clothing, and food, but it doesn't make me feel better actually. I wish I had more to give. But we don't. Aside from the freelance writing I do, my husband and I run a video, website Ocean Avenue, Belmar. The day after the storm. design, and graphic design business, and certainly the storm has beaches while the sun was setting. We are so looking forward to doing affected our cash flow and our busisome of this again. And it's hard to ness since so much of it is local. Our swallow that some of it might not clients have also lost homes and business locations, so it's understandable be the same, even while all of the that they don't have the money to updates are saying they are rebuilding pay their bills with us or to start new quickly. But I have great hope for it. I projects. But it's left us without a want to know that future generations large source of our income. will have the opportunity to make the Having said all that, I'm very same kinds of awesome memories we excited by the progress I've been made here, because there's really no reading about the recovery…espeplace else in the world like the Jersey cially the recovery of our beaches and Shore. And everyone should have the boardwalks. The Jersey Shore is my opportunity to experience it. adopted home, since I didn't grow up here. But I have many absolutely gorgeous memories that were forged Donna Clapp is a freelance writer and here. I love the beach and being close past contributor to this magazine. She lives to the ocean. I think it's a primal in Red Bank. s h o r e • s p r i n g 2 0 1 3 Jennifer Enright is a freelance writer and frequent contributor to this magazine. She lives in Point Pleasant. W j e r s e y the moon and stars bright, the salt air wafting. I felt free in a way I never had before. So the Route 35 strip became my ride. The place I would go when I just needed to be alone, before I was concerned about car emissions and fourdollars-a-gallon gasoline. Back when I could just jump in the car and drive. That ride soothed me many times over the years. I haven't taken that ride since October 28, 2012. In the immediate aftermath, like many people, I went into helper mode. I helped old high school friends drag soggy rugs from their homes and drove around in search of plastic bins, bleach, and contractor's bags. I cleaned a cheerleader's hair bows of rust and mold and distributed quilts made by my mother's quilting group. I brought coffee and sandwiches to National Guardsmen stationed on roads in my neighborhood. Sitting on my porch each night, reading by lantern light, I listened to the sound of generators buzzing. It was odd and eerie and bizarre, but I stayed busy and I felt lucky. Eventually the sadness kicked in. A couple of weeks after the storm, when the reality of it all finally hit me, when my internet was restored and I saw the pictures and videos online, that's when I got sad. When I started to randomly tear-up throughout the day. I know many others feel the same way. I see their posts on Facebook and hear their comments around town. It's just so sad. I know it's popular to stay "Jersey Strong" and know we will "Restore the Shore." I have joined "Shore 2 Recover," a group founded by a friend from Point Beach after the storm. We are working to help people rebuild. It feels good to help. But my heart hurts because my favorite place in the world is broken. And while that makes me feel sad, still, I know that I am lucky. 27