The Press-Dispatch
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D-8 Home Life Wednesday, April 26, 2017 The Press-Dispatch Katiedid vs... by Katiedid Langrock Resist the dish The Press-Dispatch Join the new 812-354-8500 | www.pressdispatch.net *By enrolling in the Birthday Club, you agree to have your name, town and birth- day, or the person's name and town and birthday of whom you are enrolling, printed in e Press-Dispatch on the week in which the birthday occurs. Joining is easy! Send your: Full name, address, city, state, zip code, phone number and birthdate to birthdayclub@pressdispatch.net.* One winner is drawn at the end of each month. Each week, a list of birthdays will be published in the paper! You could win a FREE PRIZE from area businesses and a three-month subscription to e Press-Dispatch. My life has become dishes. Now that we have two young chil- dren, my husband and I have had to face the grim reality that the diet we subsisted on in college – made en- tirely of ramen noodles, Triscuits, Cheez Whiz and beer – probably is no longer appropriate. At the very least, we would have to upgrade from light beer to a bock for the sake of the chil- dren's nutritional intake. Fortunately, greater aspirations than simply updating the old menu took hold. And though I am far from an organic-smoothie-making, chia seeds-juicing, quinoa-cooking, essen- tial-oil-wafting, lake-to-table-searing aficionado, I have mastered some pret- ty mean macaroni dishes. I also have perfected heating up the frozen meal; I even add my own fresh vegetables in- to the mix simply for bragging rights. Don't feel too intimidated. Not only do I cook but I cook multi- ple times a day. It turns out that chil- dren need to eat on a fairly regular ba- sis – a factoid that most certainly was not covered in our Lamaze class. Long gone are the days of our youth when we could skip breakfast, eat a fam- ily-size bag of Doritos for lunch and then cruise through the day until hit- ting the need for a rabid kitchen raid around midnight. My tiny little beings want not only breakfast but also lunch and dinner. It's as if they are growing or something. Being the super mom that I am, I have decided that yes, I will feed them all meals. And yes, at least most of the meals will be a step up from the Cheez Whiz I miss so dearly. "Mom of the Year" star stickers are not necessary but would be greatly ap- preciated. I can handle the cook- ing. I can find purpose and value and sometimes even joy in the process. What I cannot handle are the dishes – the mountain of never-ending ceramics that scream at me from across the room, threat- ening to stink up the joint if I don't acquiesce to their sudsy will in a timely manner. I didn't grow up with sink duty. My parents use disposable dishes and cut- lery. It was a big deal and a true nod to their devotion toward the environment when they moved from plastic foam to paper plates. You're welcome, Earth. I tend to be slightly more environ- mentally conscious. I can't justify the garbage heap of plastic after every single meal. But I would be lying if I didn't say that I love when my parents come to visit and buy the house a tow- er of disposables. I mean, I can't not use the paper plates they bought me, right? That would be rude, and worse, those trees would have died for noth- ing! As an environmentalist, I consid- er it my duty to use the paper plates my parents buy me. Unfortunately, the parents leave and the disposables run out, and the moun- tain of dishes returns, angrier than ev- er before. There is only one solution to this never-ending dishes dilemma: edible plates. You heard me. This is not a new idea. In fact, it's an ancient one. I saw a pro- gram on History (or may- be it was "iCarly") that said edible dishes were seen in every early culture on every continent. It's the basic premise behind pizza and tortillas and nan. Cook a delicious plate to eat your meal off and live a Dawn- free existence! It's genius! So why are we doubling down on the dishes by us- ing a plate when we eat pizza? I say, no more! From now on, when I go to a Mexican restaurant, I want my que- sadilla served directly on the table! I'll insist on it. The same goes for my wraps at Subway and my pitas at Falafel Palace. Table service will have a new name. Rather than forks and knives, we can use breadsticks as chopsticks and iceberg lettuce leaves as cups. Let's start a Resist the Dish Revolution! As for my own household, I'm think- ing it's time to start serving pizza at every meal. Breakfast pizza! Dessert pizza! The kids will be happy. The meals can still be chock-full of dairy, meat and vegetables. And the best part is that my sink will be empty. Wipe down the table and voila! I'm done. Maybe eating like a college student was the secret trick to parenting all along. Minus the beer joke at the top. Kids would totally prefer a porter. Like Katiedid Langrock on Facebook, at http://www.facebook.com/katiedid- humor. Monday Tuesday Wednesday ursday Friday 1 Dr. Jairath Dr. Umali 2 3 Dr. Chacko Dr. Emerson Dr. Gurram Dr. Neahring Dr. Reid 4 Dr. McCord 5 Dr. Neahring Dr. Umali 8 Dr. Jairath Dr. Umali 9 10 Dr. Finch Dr. Gurram Dr. Neahring Dr. Reid 11 Dr. Beck Dr. Jani Lindsay Lang, FNP Dr. McCord 12 Dr. Neahring Dr. Umali Audibel Hearing Center 15 Dr. Jairath Dr. Umali 16 Dr. Samuel 17 Dr. Chacko Dr. Emerson Dr. Gurram Dr. Reid 18 Dr. Gilson Dr. McCord 19 Dr. Neahring Dr. Umali 22 Dr. Umali 23 24 Dr. Finch Dr. Gurram Dr. Neahring Dr. Reid 25 Dr. Beck Dr. McCord 26 Dr. Nearhing Dr. Umali Audibel Hearing Center 29 CLOSED MEMOriaL Day 30 31 Dr. Emerson Dr. Gurram Dr. Neahring Dr. Reid