The Brainerd Dispatch - Today's Entertainment Magazine
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/776139
Brainerd Dispatch • January 22 - 28, 2017 •11 Conan A NASA scientist has warned that Earth is unprepared for a surprise asteroid hit and said, "There's not a hell of a lot we can do about it." So, ladies and gentlemen, happy holidays! A friend of Donald Trump's said that Trump dangled the office of Secretary of State to Mitt Romney "to torture him." You can watch the whole thing in the new series, "White Billionaire Pranks." The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon It was announced that Showtime has canceled its series "Masters of Sex." Men said it went on long enough, while women said it ended WAY too soon. The new Uber update tracks where you go for five minutes after your car drops you off. Some users say it's creepy — Solution on page 10. Late Laughs then they went back to getting into a car with a stranger and telling them exactly where they live. As president, Donald Trump will have access to an emergency alert system, which will allow him to send a text to every American at once. But it's only for emergencies like natural disasters, security issues or if "Saturday Night Live" does another sketch about him. A private company called "Moon Express" says it wants to start offering trips to the moon for under $10,000 a ticket. Most people are like, "Yeah, I'm not sure I wanna book the cheapest option for my TRIP TO OUTER SPACE." Weekend Update With Colin Jost and Michael Che Obama this week said that Democrats are falsely characterized as "coastal, liberal, latte-sipping, out-of- touch folks." Then he grabbed a salted caramel mochaccino and hopped on a private jet to Hawaii. 001453459r1 001453459r1 30503 State Highway 371 • 218-568-5001 www.pequotlakessupervalu.com Locally owned and operated PUMP PERKS SAVE ON GROCERIES. SAVE ON GAS. Join Today! 001520577r1 SUPERIOR CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING Serving Crow Wing, Aitkin, Morrison, Todd, N. Mille Lacs and Southern Cass Counties. • Most carpets dry in 1-2 hours, NOT DAYS!!! • Safe and non toxic hypo allergenic • Pet and odor specialists • Carpets stay cleaner longer 1/31/17. INDEPENDENTLY OWNED & OPERATED BY JEFF & TRACY SWENSON DONATIONS are greatly appreciated! Because of the generousity of businesses and individuals we have always been able to Celebrate the 4th of July in a very patriotic way and with a lot of community events. Please help by donating to the 4th of July Celebration. Call 218-829-5278 or mail to Brainerd Community Action, 213 South 5th Street, Brainerd, MN 56401. Visit our website www.brainerdcommunityaction.org ALL DONATIONS ARE TAX DEDUCTIBLE 001519478r1 625 Oak St, Brainerd, MN 56401 (218) 828-4978 • www.brainerdgiovannis.com LARGE TOPPING PIZZA Expires: 2/28/17 PIZZA Expires: 2/28/17 $12.99 625 Oak St, Brainerd • 218-828-4978 with purchase of equal or greater value. Expires: 2/28/17 with purchase of equal or greater value. FREE Order of Cheese Bread 625 Oak St, Brainerd • 218-828-4978 Gift Cards Available! 001520644r1 001521316r1 800-824-5051 www.brenny.com 001410405r1 www.facebook.com/Brainerdsalthriftstore 609 Norwood St. Brainerd, MN Dollars raised in our Thrift Store go to help those in need in the Brainerd/Baxter Lakes Community Now Accepting Donations, call for donation pickup 218-822-3559 001515757r1 A e VaLad , Realtor ® 218.821.6890 For All The Right Reasons 001441343r1 001522554r1 001522554r1 CALL TODAY FOR AN APPOINTMENT 218.568.5095 www.pequotvet.com Tender loving healthcare for your loved one