The Press-Dispatch
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/578458
The Press-Dispatch Opinion Wednesday, September 30, 2015 C- 5 SMARTER To us, the unwashed mass- es, here are some of his most outstanding Yogi-isms: • This is like deja vu all over again. • If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping. • Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin'. • Baseball is 90 percent mental, the other half is physical • You can observe a lot just by watching. • You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going because you might not get there. • I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early. • If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else. • If you can't imitate him, don't copy him. • It was impossible to get a conversation going; every- body was talking too much. • A nickel isn't worth a dime today. • If you come to a fork in the road, take it. • Ninety percent of the putts that are short don't go in. • I made a wrong mistake. • I always thought that re- cord would stand until it was broken. • If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them. • Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you trav- el. • The other teams could make trouble for us if they win. • It ain't the heat; it's the humility. • The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase. • You should always go to other people's funerals; oth- erwise, they won't come to yours. Jesus often challenged those around him to look be- yond their entrenched under- standing of God and stretch their minds into the spiritu- al realm, beyond the obvious. Jesus used a paradoxical idiom to confound the self- righteous Pharisees: He told them that it was easier for "a camel to passing through an eye of a needle [a door] than for them to enter into the kingdom of heaven." Jesus used paradoxes to get the attention of those who were resisting eternal and self-evident truths. In so doing, many who heard his words scratched their heads and maybe at the same time, expanded their concept of God. Yogi often confounded the sports press by his simple befuddlement, while Jesus used befuddlement to con- found the wise. Hat's off to Yogi, a symbol of a bygone era. Think about It! The Weekly by Alden Heuring Court Report Pillow talk As my wife Jill gets further along in her pregnancy, it's getting more difficult for her to be comfortable. If she stands up, her feet hurt. If she sits down, her back hurts. If she lays on her sides, her hips hurt. If she lays on her back, it feels great, but it can cut off the oxygen flow to the baby, so it's no good either. But this is 2015, and we have ways now of making you comfortable, for the right price. For "just" $70, she bought a life-sized "pregnancy pillow" online that promised just that. It showed up on the front porch in a box the size of our couch. (The box later made a great cat toy.) Now, at first I was a skeptic. This pil- low smells vaguely clinical and looks like a big fluffy horsehoe, but it changed our lives on its first night in the bed. I don't even mind that it encroaches on my side. The inside of the "horseshoe" is curved more or less like a mold of the pregnant female body, so Jill can just snuggle right into it and rest her head at the top end. Whichever side of the pillow she isn't fac- ing wedges under her back to keep her propped up on her side—comfortably! — and since the pillow's square footage is roughly equal to Rhode Island's, there's plenty of pillow left over for me. We slept for eight hours straight, no time-outs, no halftime commercials. By the time we left the bed in the morning, the pillow had its own pet names. We are pillow people now. Sadly, nothing is perfect. On the sec- ond night, I painfully discovered that the tags on the pillow are in the exact same spot as my eyes, but that was a simple matter of renting a forklift to move it to the other side of the bed so the tags are on the edge side instead of the middle side. And since Jill's pillow needs are met and ex - ceeded, I get to use all of the other pillows on the bed. It's like I'm the princess in that story about the big stack of mattresses, but instead of a pea under the mattress there's just cat hair everywhere. Speaking of my cat, this weekend Jill and I attended our all-day labor and birth and baby care and so on class at the hos- pital. It was pretty useful; not only can I now change a diaper as fast as Jill, who is the oldest of seven, but also, they had a bunch of really big muffins and coffee for free. I single-mouthedly took half of those muffins off their hands over the course of the day. Anyway, getting back to my cat, Jill volunteered for one of the "object les- sons," in which she wore a big t-shirt up- side down over her pants and delivered a baby doll through the neck hole. The demonstration was to show that pretty much any position is better to deliver ba- bies from than laying flat on your back (or doing a headstand, but they didn't feel the need to explain that, I guess). Even though Jill delivered the baby doll a little too well and cracked its head on the floor, she still got a partic- ipation prize: a onesie! (I promise I'm getting to my cat.) Since the door-prize one- sie doesn't have an owl or a whale on it (who puts kan- garoos on onesies any- way?), I decided maybe it would be better suited for our cat, Dia- mond. It wasn't. Jill took video and pho- tos of me trying to coax her front paws through the sleeves, though, so that's something to show the kid later, I guess. I think the cat-onesie fit discrepancy could be solved with a larger, sleeveless onesie. (My cat is pretty fat, after all.) I don't want her to be cold in the winter, but I do want her to look adorable and silly. Thankfully we finally have some of that special baby laundry detergent, so we can wash the cat hair off the onesie before it gets any actual use. So that's all the baby news there is to tell this week. If you also enjoy big pillows, big muffins, or big cats wear- ing silly clothing, by all means let's talk about it (or in the case of cats wearing silly clothes, let's exchange photos, oh yes, indeed). DELUSION THE LEFT Continued from page 4 Continued from page 4 Continued from page 4 Continued from page 4 POPE the chance to make up for that debacle. In the months after grad- uating from college, I back- packed Europe. In doing so, I took on a responsibility of representing my country by presenting myself as kind, knowledgeable and respect- ful. This zigzagging adven- ture across the continent land- ed me in Rome a few weeks before Christmas. More than anything, more than the Col- osseum, more than the Sis- tine Chapel, I wanted to see the pope. I wanted to be in the presence of a person who held the ear of the world. Pope John Paul II had been ailing for some time, so there was no guarantee he would show up at his win- dow to speak. The morning was chilly, and the fervor in the crowd grew as the min- utes ticked past the pope's expected appearance time. Folks from around the globe unleashed their antsy antici- pation by singing Christmas songs as local news crews caught the action. A reporter came up to me, held a microphone in front of my face and asked, "What brings you to Vatican City this morning? " I was all smiles and holiday cheer when I said, "To see JP Squared. Duh! " Immediately afterward, I was panic-stricken. What had I said? What had I do- ne? Why did I call His Holi- ness that? The reporter asked what country I was from. I thought about saying Cana- da, but it felt wrong to lie in Vatican City. I tried to explain that my bunkmates in my hos- tel had been referring to the pope as JP Squared. I meant no offense; it just came out! But then the pope appeared at the window, and the mo- ment passed. I found the mass prayer ex- perience surprisingly emo- tional and left feeling grateful — not unrelated to the realiza- tion my interview would nev- er air because I didn't speak Italian. A blessing if there ev- er was one. Hours later, I arrived back at my hostel's common room, greeted by applause. My inter- view had just been seen on the local nightly news. Sorry, sir. Sorry, America. Like Katiedid Langrock on Facebook, at http://www.face- book.com/katiedidhumor. as the liberal New Republic describes it: "The buildings in Havana are literally crumbling, ma- ny of them held upright by two-by-fours. Even the clean- est bathrooms are fetid, as if the country's infrastructur- al bowels might collectively evacuate at any minute. "Poverty in Cuba is severe in terms of access to phys- ical commodities, especial- ly in rural areas. Farmers struggle, and many women depend on prostitution to make a living. Citizens have few material possessions and lead simpler lives with few luxuries and far more limited political freedom." This left-leaning pope (who failed to stand up for the Cuban dissidents who were arrested when attempt- ing to attend a mass he was conducting) and our left- leaning president have at- tributed Cuba's total failure to the U.S. It's critically important to care about the poor – but if those who claim to care for the poor and the oppressed stand with the oppressors, what are we to conclude? Much is made of Pope Francis' Argentine origins – the fact that the only kind of capitalism he's experi- enced is of the crony vari- ety. Maybe. But Pope Fran- cis is a man of the world, and the whole world still strug- gles to shake off a delusion – namely, that leftists who preach redistribution can help the poor. Has this pope or Obama taken a moment to see what Hugo Chavez's socialist/ populist Venezuela has be- come? Chavez and his suc- cessor (like Castro, like Len- in, like Mao) promised huge redistribution from the rich to the poor. There have in- deed been new programs for the poor, but the econo- my has been destroyed. The leader of the opposition was just thrown in jail. Mean- while, the shops have run out of flour, oil, toilet paper and other basics. If you want moral cred- it for caring about the poor, when, oh when, do you ev- er have to take responsibil- ity for what happens to the poor when leftists take over? We know what actually lifts people out of poverty: property rights, the rule of law, free markets. Not on- ly do those things deliver the fundamentals that peo- ple need to keep body and soul together, but they ac- complish this feat without a single arrest, persecution or show trial. CRIMINAL Pike Circuit Court Tyler A. Croak charged with count I possession of methamphetamine, a level 6 felony; count II unlawful possession or use of a legend drug; and count III pos- session of paraphernalia. Jamie Lynn Moomey charged with count I possession of methamphetamine, a level 6 felony; count II unlawful posses- sion or use of a legend drug; and count III possession of paraphernalia. Ciji J. Lough charged with count I bat- tery against a public safety official, a lev- el 6 felony; count II resisting law enforce- ment; and count III disorderly conduct. Edra L. Cannon charged with count I operating a vehicle while intoxicated endangering a person, a level 6 felony; count II leaving the scene of an accident; count III operating a vehicle while intox- icated; count IV operating a motor vehi- cle without financial responsibility; and count V operating a vehicle with an ACE of .15 or more. TRAFFIC AND MISDEMEANOR Pike Circuit Court Bonnie J. Bannowsky charged with possession of marijuana. Roy D. Hedge charged with posses- sion of marijuana. Chasey Jo Brown charged with pos- session of a controlled substance. Michael E. Shelton charged with driv- ing while suspended. CIVIL DOCKET Pike Circuit Court Capital One Bank (USA), N.A. sues Jenell J. Bennett on complaint. Capital One Bank (USA), N.A. sues Jessica E. Nalley on complaint. Casey State Bank sues Andrew S. Col- lins, Laicee Collins and Gary Collins on complaint. Carol Jane Neukam sues Daniel R. Neukam for dissolution of marriage. Crickett Grubb sues Bryan Grubb for dissolution of marriage. Phyllis E. Hill sues Bruce Lee Hill for dissolution of marriage. SMALL CLAIMS Pike Circuit Court LVNV Funding, LLC sues Mikka Mi- ley on complaint. LVNV Funding, LLC sues Kelly Lam- kin AK A Kelly L. Bailey on complaint. LVNV Funding, LLC sues Christie Greer AK A Christie Kay Colvin on com- plaint. Autumn Apartments, LLC sues Ter- ry Allen and Terri Allen on complaint. Tower Construction sues Tiffany Wil- liams on complaint. INFRACTIONS Pike Circuit Court James Baldwin charged with seatbelt violation. Joshua Calhoun charged with speed- ing, 84 mph in 70 zone. Madeline Gilham charged with speed- ing, 49 mph in 35 zone. Frankie Meece charged with speed- ing, 48 mph in 35 zone. Laura Olvera charged with speeding, 48 mph in 35 zone. Willie Schmidt-Burnett II charged with speeding, 69 mph in 55 zone. Brooke Taylor charged with speeding, 49 mph in 35 zone. Brittany Townsend charged with speeding, 69 mph in 55 zone. David Anderson charged with driving too fast for conditions. Clifford Armstrong charged with speeding, 84 mph in 70 zone. Daniel Blessinger charged with seat- belt violation. Tina Blessinger charged with child re- straint system violation. Aaron Connell charged with speeding, 85 mph in 70 zone. Lauryn Davis charged with seatbelt violation. Levi Jones charged with speeding, 49 mph in 35 zone. Ethan Knust charged with speeding, 60 mph in 35 zone. Mark Maudlin charged with speeding, 84 mph in 70 zone. Dustin Miller-Kio charged with speed- ing, 39 mph in 25 zone. Nathan Ramaj charged with speeding, 49 mph in 35 zone. Duane Rickard charged with speed- ing, 48 mph in 35 zone. Kody Schuble charged with speeding, 84 mph in 70 zone. Blaine Steimel charged with speeding, 48 mph in 35 zone. Jordan Sturgeon charged with speed- ing, 68 mph in 35 zone. Jamie Swarzentruber charged with speeding, 49 mph in 35 zone. Ricardo Vanegas charged with speed- ing, 49 mph in 35 zone. Noah Werner charged with speeding, 84 mph in 70 zone. Justin White charged with speeding, 75 mph in 55 zone. Anthony Woolsey charged with driv- ing too fast for conditions. Megan Coleman charged with speed- ing, 85 mph in 70 zone. Kimberly Cummins charged with speeding, 69 mph in 55 zone. Jonathon Fisher charged with speed- ing, 69 mph in 55 zone. Ryan Hopf charged with speeding, 76 mph in 55 zone. Matthew Moesner charged with speeding, 71 mph in 55 zone. Lane Pemberton charged with speed- ing, 80 mph in 70 zone. SUBMIT LETTERS TO THE EDITOR All letters to the editor must be signed and include an address and phone number. Only your name will be published with the letter. editor@pressdispatch.net | P.O. Box 68, Petersburg sion with multiple T V sets, and other amenities. A scholar specializing in the study of Latin America said that the official pover- ty level in the United States is the upper middle class in Mexico. The much criticized market economy of the Unit- ed States has done far more for the poor than the ideolo- gy of the left. Pope Francis' own native Argentina was once among the leading economies of the world, before it was ru- ined by the kind of ideologi- cal notions he is now promot- ing around the world. Thomas Sowell is a se- nior fellow at the Hoover In- stitution, Stanford Universi- ty, Stanford, CA 94305. His website is www.tsowell.com. Dr. Carson is right about Islam Pursuit of the Cure by Star Parker Dr. Ben Carson is now under fire for suggesting the values of Islam are not consistent with those of the United States. NBC's Chuck Todd asked Dr. Carson if the faith of a candidate for president of the United States matters. Carson responded that it depends on what that faith is. "If it's inconsistent with the values and principles of Ameri- ca, then of course it should matter," said Dr. Carson. Todd then asked Dr. Carson if he thinks that Islam is consistent with American values and Carson respond- ed, "No, I do not." He then expanded to say, "I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation." Now the whole world is on Ben Car- son. How dare you! Dr. Ben Carson is a very smart man. During his career as one of the world's leading pediatric neurosurgeons, he found the time to write a good number of books, three of which are about the United States of America. He understands our Constitution very well, and he knows that it protects the freedom to practice one's religion and al- lows for a person of any faith to run for political office. What he did say, and with which I to- tally agree, is that it is not advisable that Americans elect someone, particularly for our highest office, who does not share our values. I love our country and respect our Constitution. However, I do not believe we should elect someone who believes it is acceptable to destroy life in the womb. Do I believe such an individual should be free to run for office and for Americans to vote for that individual? Of course. If we are foolish enough to elect such an individual, we get what we deserve. What about Islam? We don't need a theolog- ical discussion about the Quran to appreciate that Dr. Carson's views, as he expressed them to Chuck Todd, make all the sense in the world. When Dr. Carson talks about Ameri- can principles and values, what is he talk- ing about? Most Americans would agree that the fundamental American value is freedom. Is Islam consistent with the American value of freedom? Let's just look at how Muslims run their own affairs in their own countries. According to the Pew Research Cen- ter, there are 31 nations in the world with Muslim populations of 90 percent or more. Freedom House in Washington, D.C., rates nations around the world accord- ing to freedom. They rate according to civil liberties and political rights. Nations are broken down into three categories: free, partly free, and not free. Of the 31 nations that are more than 90 percent Muslim, how many are rat- ed free? Two. It seems pretty clear that freedom fares not so well in the Muslim world. How about the Constitution? The Constitution is not a value-free operating manu- al. The reason the founders created it was to preserve American values. They were quite clear about this in the preamble to the Con- stitution. The preamble says: "We the people" establish the Constitution to "secure the blessings of liberty to our- selves and our posterity." I spend much of my time reading the Bible so I can be a good Christian. I don't feel it is my responsibility to read the Quran and get into the business of trying to understand what Muslims be- lieve. My measuring stick can only be how Muslims behave. And the evidence is overwhelming that Islam does not pro- duce behavior consistent with the Amer- ican value of freedom, the core value our constitution exists to preserve. It is perfectly constitutional to elect someone with values that will destroy America. It's just not a very good idea to do it. When Ben Carson says he "would not advocate putting a Muslim in charge of this nation," only someone who does not care about the future of this nation would question the power of his logic. Star Parker is an author and president of CURE, the Center for Urban Renewal and Education. Contact her at www.ur- bancure.org.