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SANTA CRUZ SENTINEL S4 SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2013 AGING GRACEFULLY Formal care is when a child is removed from his or her family of origin by child welfare and placed with a relative. Informal care is when relatives voluntarily take over the care of a relative's child, without the child being removed and placed by child welfare through the dependency system, she said. In Santa Cruz County, about 150 children are currently formally placed with relatives. This is more than half of all the children in the county's foster care system. "There may be as many as 3,000 informally in the care of relatives, but no one knows for sure because not all of these are reported," Helms said. "While most kinship caregivers are grandparents, there are also aunts, uncles, older siblings caring for relatives." About 2.7 million children in the United States are being raised in grandparents' or kinship care homes, according to Helms. This is about 4 percent of all children in the U.S., and it's an increase of almost 18 percent over the last decade, she said. For every child in a formal kinship placement in the U.S., it's estimated that almost 25 are being raised in informal kinship arrangements. "Sally," a San Lorenzo Valley resident, is part of an informal arrangement that includes co-parenting. Her son was incarcerated a few years ago, and she is now helping to care for his 5-year-old daughter. The girl's mother is no longer in a relationship with Sally's son, but she and her daughter live with Sally and Sally's husband of more than 30 years. She said she's stepping up and taking the place of her son while he's unable to parent. "I told him, 'I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for my granddaughter,' " said Sally, 58. She thinks that people of her son's generation — he's in his early 30s — expect to be taken care of. "They have an entitlement mentality right now," she said. "They think life owes them." She's afraid there's a stigma attached to children being raised in untraditional households. "(Their parents) were not focused 100 percent on the best interest of the child," she said. "I don't think it's fair for the children to be punished for the sins of their parents." There are myriad reasons children end up in the care of their grandparents, but the most common include parents' substance abuse, mental-health issues, parents' illness or death, incarceration and domestic violence, according to Helms. Research shows that children in kinship care do better than those in foster placements, she said. They know their relatives, which lessens the trauma of being separated from their birth parents. They also tend to have more stability and experience fewer placement changes than children in non-kin foster care, she said. But when grandparents take on the role of parents, dynamics within the family shift. "First of all, grandparents don't get to be grandparents any more," Helms said. "They have to be the primary caregiver and parent and that's a very different role." She said resentments can arise and relationships can become adversarial. "In formal arrangements, parents may be put in the position of not allowing their own adult children (the parents of the grandchildren) to see their own children while they are in placement with them," according to Helms. "Other children in the family can resent their parents now parenting someone else's children — so they may resent their cousins, for example, moving in and being treated as siblings." Hannum has learned that education is king when it comes to parenting. She takes all of the courses she can find, which includes parenting classes that are regularly offered through the county. She suggests other grandparents in her position educate themselves and join a support group, such as those offered through the Cabrillo Foster & Kinship Care Education Program. Life has changed no doubt, but Hannum is savoring every moment. "It's a roller coaster ride," she said. "We love every minute of it." PARENTING Continued from S2 AT A GLANCE M O R E A B O U T C A R E G I V E R S Kinship caregivers are faced with a variety of obstacles unique to their situation. In addition to changing family dynamics and the physical and emotional demands of caring for a child — or children — financial strains can be great. 'Caregivers with formal placements receive some reimbursement, but in many cases it's not as much as foster parents receive for the same situation,' said Deborah Helms, director of the Cabrillo Foster & Kinship Care Education Program, noting this is due to a complex benefit system. 'Nonformal caregivers are eligible for some financial assistance, but many don't know those benefits are available, and many don't seek them because of stigma or because of the difficulty of applying, etc.' Fewer than 12 percent of kinship families receive financial assistance from Temporary Aid to Needy Families (TANF), a division of CalWorks, which almost all families are eligible for, according to Helms. — Justine DaCosta SHMUEL THALER/SENTINEL Charlotte Hannum checks in on her grandson Seven as he does his homework in their Capitola home. 'It's a roller coaster ride. We love every minute of it.' CHARLOTTE HANNUM, grandmother to Seven, and his primary caregiver

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