The Daily Star - Stay Tuned
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/22295
The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, December 31, 2010 12 latelaughs Conan: Conan O’Brien Hanukkah lasts eight nights ... or the length of a Kanye West press conference. Iran began holding high- level talks about its nuclear program with the six major world powers. Participants were the U.S., Russia, China, Britain, France and Oprah. In prison the other day, Charles Manson was caught with a cellphone under his mattress. In his defence, Manson said he was only using it to stab people. Developers in Kentucky plan on opening a creationist theme park. When asked what the creationist theme park will look like, developers said “It’s still evolving ... “ The biggest winner on Black Friday was Costco, which saw a nine-per-cent increase in sales. So kids, I hope you’re excited to rush downstairs on Christmas morning and tear open a 12-gallon barrel of olives. The Tonight Show: Jay Leno Every year at this time, the political correctness ... you gotta be so careful now. For example, Santa’s helpers? You can’t call them elves anymore. They’re now “undocumented little people.” The country of Nigeria has issued an arrest warrant for former vice-president Dick Cheney. He’s accused of some improper financial dealings. You know what this means? You know that Nigerian guy who’s always e-mailing you for money? That was Dick Cheney the whole time. Because of a flaw during the printing process, nearly one billion new $100 bills will have to be destroyed. They’re going to take $100 billion in cash and just burn it in a fire -- same idea we did with the last stimulus program. BLUE SUEDE SHOES BLUES CARL PERKINS CONTRACT COUNTRY DEMO ELVIS P. GUITAR HIT A/ Olsego Manor B/Farmhouse 2 x 2.5 HONEY, DON’T HOWLIN’ WOLF I WALK THE LINE JAM JAMES COTTON JERRY LEE LEWIS JOHNNY CASH LABEL Green Earth 2 x 2.5 MARION KEISKER MATCHBOX MYSTERY TRAIN OOBY DOOBY PHILLIPS PIANO RECORD ROCK ROY ORBISON SESSIONS SONG SUN STUDIO THAT’S ALL RIGHT From the list, find each word and circle its letters in the puzzle above to reveal the message relating to this week’s subject. President Obama’s pledge to have the most transparent administration in history has come true -- thanks to WikiLeaks. Another record has been broken: a Chinese passenger train hit a record speed of 302 miles an hour. And unlike Amtrak, this was on purpose. Charles Manson was busted for having a cellphone in his prison cell. He’s surrounded by concrete and metal bars. What carrier does he have? The Late Show: David Letterman I know we love the holidays, but there’s a lot of pressure. Did you ever do this? You go out to buy a tree and, by mistake, you put the tree in the backseat and the kid on the roof? Derek Jeter signed with the Yankees. Had to take a little pay cut, but he’s still the highest paid shortstop in baseball -- $51 million. Yeah, but for that money, he also has to fight crime. tvsearch Sam’s Sun A/ EdTeleky Jeweler B/ Robynwood 1 x 4” s n n L o i i f ! s e . i I s O r A o c e c w t a . e i t