The Brainerd Dispatch - Today's Entertainment Magazine
Issue link: https://www.ifoldsflip.com/i/1501696
12 • June 4 - 10, 2023 • Brainerd Dispatch Obama, Bush and Clinton. In other words, we're five minutes away from learning that they found documents at the homes of Obama, Bush and Clinton. Meanwhile, when asked if he had any classified documents, Dick Cheney put his heart into sleep mode. Some news from Washington: a bill was just introduced in Congress that would ban TikTok in the U.S. Good idea. Without TikTok, the only way China can spy on us is through our phones, fridges and smart toasters. Yeah, they want to ban TikTok. Gen Z is like, "You'll have to pry it from our cold, dead tortillas." I'm sure Biden is all over this. A week ago, he thought TikTok was a breath mint. Jimmy Kimmel Live! Netflix is cracking down on password sharing. Their plan is to limit password sharing only to family members who live in your household from now on, and this is going to be a huge blow to Nick Cannon. This could cost him millions of dollars. I'm exhausted by all these investigations. If I was watching this on Netflix, this would be the part where I skipped to the end credits to the part where they explain that the bad guy is nine years into a 30-year prison sentence now. that's so disappointing. I would expect more from the man who invented the automobile ... named it after his daughter Mercedes. According to the complaint, Santos claims "he loaned $705,000 to his own campaign, even though 2020 records indicate he only had $55,000 to his name." Fair enough, but what about all of his other names? A new study found that people who wake up with an alarm clock are more tired than people who wake up naturally. Another reason people who use an alarm clock are tired: they have jobs. The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon The FBI searched President Biden's beach house in Delaware for classified documents. First, they searched near Biden's Corvette, now they're searching his beach house. I'm starting to think Biden created this whole scandal as a humblebrag. "Why don't you check by my infinity pool? Maybe there's something behind the Picasso, I don't know." Everyone's still talking about all the classified documents that keep popping up, and now spokespeople are saying that, until the end of their terms, all classified documents were returned by and Medicare." That is an insane negotiating tactic. That's pretty drastic. That's like a husband saying, "Honey, we're spending too much on entertainment so either we cancel one of our streaming services or I shove your grandpa into the river. Which is it: Netflix or P-Pop?" With all of the problems in the world, Fox News remains laser focused on the big issue: M&M's have gone woke. First of all, no they haven't. Second, if any candy is woke, isn't it the one that tells you to "Taste the rainbow?" [In a] complaint filed with the Federal Election Commission, [George] Santos has been accused of "extensive lies about his campaign finances." Well, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert So now both Joe Biden and Mike Pence have been found to have material dating from the time that they were vice-president. This never used to happen. Previous veeps had methods to dispose of this kind of thing: Al Gore would immediately recycle documents and Dick Cheney, of course, would shoot them in the face. The U.S. has reached its $31.4 trillion debt ceiling. Now, normally Congress automatically raises the debt limit as needed, but House Republicans are refusing in order to "leverage the standoff to extract major spending cuts ... on social programs ... including Social Security Late Laughs SATURDAY'S SOLUTION FRIDAY'S SOLUTION 218.692.6072 trebilhearing.com 35548 County Road 66, Crosslake BRING BACK THE JOY OF HEARING Come to us for a FREE hearing test to find out. Hours: Mon-Sat 9-5 • Hwy. 210 W, Aitkin (218) 927-6446 • Tools • Furniture • Housewares • Gifts • New Inventory Arriving Weekly 25,000 Sq. Ft. To Shop From INDEPENDENTLY OWNED & OPERATED BY JEFF & TRACY SWENSON 218-828-4320 chemdryofthelakes.com WE ALSO CLEAN: • WOOD & VINY L FLOORS • TILE & GROUT • GRANITE COUNTER TOP RENEWAL Serving Crow Wing, Aitkin, Morrison, Todd, N. Mille Lacs and Southern Cass Counties ASK ABOUT OUR CURRENT SPECIALS! Thank You for voting us the Best Carpet Cleaner 3 years in a row! SUPERIOR CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING Hungry? Dining Guide 2 0 2 3 L A K E S A R E A A N E C H O J O U R N A L / B R A I N E R D D I S P A T C H P U B L I C A T I O N L A K E S A R E A B E C O M I N G C U L I N A R Y K A L E I D O S C O P E D E S S E R T S TO T E M P T YO U R PA L AT E F E AT U R E D D I S H E S Check out the 2023 Lakes Area Dining Guide