The Press-Dispatch

Classifieds Wednesday, April 5, 2023 The Press-Dispatch D-3 Youth First Today By Jayme Waddell, MSW, LSW Resolving conflict with empathy There is not a person around who is going say be- ing a parent is easy. It is often a balancing act. We want kids to be self-sufficient, while al- so providing all the help we can. We want confident chil- dren, but they should also be humble. Sometimes we focus so much on the strong and con- fident attributes we are try- ing to instill in our children that we forget some of the oth- er very important traits they will need as they grow: em- pathy and conflict resolution skills. It might feel strange to put these two things togeth- er, but being able to feel em- pathy towards others will di- rectly affect how they resolve conflict. As we build kids into strong, confident future lead- ers, we need to remember that leaders are also good lis- teners. Good leaders are also kind, can take criticism from others with grace, and can communicate their feelings in a healthy way. So how do we teach our kids skills like em- pathy and conflict resolution? Step 1: Modeling – The best thing we can do is mod- el these behaviors for our chil- dren. When you're out to eat at a busy restaurant and you feel the service is less than stellar, you can model empa- thy by making positive com- ments about how hard the people around you are work- ing or how they might be short staffed. There are also many oppor- tunities to model patience for your child. When your child is arguing with a sibling, try to help them navigate their feel- ings. Ask them listen to each other, validate how each of them is feeling during their time to speak, and encour- age positive solutions. Our children are great at gener- ating creative ways to solve their own problems when giv- en the opportunity. Step 2: Look for teachable moments – These could be re- al life situations, or you could take time to talk through how they would handle situations in a book you're reading to- gether. Encourage them to think about how the charac- ters might be feeling and why (creating the opportunity for them to be empathetic). Ask about what they might do if they were in that situation and what the results of those deci- sions might be. Step 3: Use "I" Messages – Communicate your own feel- ings with your child to help them learn how to communi- cate their feelings in the same way. I-messages sound like "I feel sad when you don't let me play with you, will you please include me next time?" Help- ing your child learn how to use this type of phrasing at home and with their peers teaches them how to com- municate in a non-combative way and encourages others to hear them without becoming defensive. Teaching our children these skills help empower them to have difficult conver- sations while building healthy and strong relationships. It is possible to have strong kids who are also kind and empa- thetic. These are the types of skills that help grow future leaders. SPRING BREAK Spring Break-Children s Museum in Indy - Addison DeJarnett, Abell DeJarnett, Archie DeJarnett and Edmond Divine Dalene Frederick Burkhart - Carly, Kady, Ashley and Jarrod Gideon in Flagler Beach, Florida Chasity Stedman - Louisville zoo! Jordan Richard Hill - Kaydan Hill helping with the chickens Joshua Popp - Helping K9 teams from around the country become familiar with being hoisted in a urban environment at Muscatatuck Urban Training Center. Candra Modesitt - Ame- lia and Mylz Modesitt at the Gateway Arch in St Louis Danielle Houtsch - Grandkids celebrating their Grandpa Steve's birthday over spring break!

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