NewsBeat

September 2022 NewsBeat 22 By HERB STRENTZ The not-so-hidden costs of paid obituaries T reating obituaries as news cement- ed ties between the newspaper and the community, and was great training for young reporters. People may pay from hundreds to thou- sands of dollars these days to have loved ones' obituaries published in local news- papers. But few if any ponder the impact "paid obits" have had on the newsroom. As an old man (83) who grew up in a newsroom that routinely ran an obit as a news story, and published obits on every- one who died in town, I want to share some costs of today's approach to obituaries. The town was Fresno, California, which in the early 1960s had a population of about 135,000. With a circulation in the 150,000 range, the Fresno Bee reached readers throughout the San Joaquin Valley, from Merced County in the north to Kern County in the South. The Bee was part of a chain owned by the McClatchy family. The McClatchys were kind of a Cowles family of central Califor- nia, but without the joie de vivre of Mike Cowles in Des Moines or the international perspective and earnestness of brother John in Minneapolis. The Bee newspapers covered local gov- ernment vigorously. Any meeting of a city or county agency or commission was covered in person. If the city council were to drive over to inspect something, city hall reporter Ed Clough might phone the city desk to send another reporter to sit with the council members in the second car, while Ed rode in the first, just to monitor the council! (This was before the onset of freedom of information laws. None were needed, because the paper demanded openness in government affairs.) The Bee paid the same kind of attention to obits. A "dead board" in the newsroom carried notices from the several funeral homes in Fresno. As time allowed, a reporter would take a notice from the clip board, phone the family of the deceased to verify the funeral home information, and get needed biographical background for the story. A reporter might write a hundred, two hundred, or more obits in the course of a year. That practice, in treating obits as news, cemented ties between the news- paper and the community, and was great training for young reporters. One might understandably think that phoning the relatives at times of grief was intrusive or rude. One experienced report- er, new to the staff, initially viewed phoning the family as barbaric. But almost always, the relative you talk- ed with appreciated the call, that The Bee was thoughtful enough to care about the departed mother, father, husband, wife, sister, brother, son or daughter. That was a R I V E R H E A D N E W S R E V I E W. C O M | A P R I L 1 5 , 2 0 2 1 | 9 Obituaries of those who have lived in the News-Review's circulation area may be published free of charge. Information submitted for obituaries is subject to editing to conform to the newspaper's edit orial policy and style. Those that do not con form to our editorial policy and style, and those for nonresidents, may run as paid notices. Email: obituar- ies@timesreview.com. Fax: 631-938-7298. Phone: 631-354-8017. OBITUARY POLICY Paid notice Eleanor Jean Forte of Calverton, formerly of Cutchogue and West Bab- ylon, died Wednesday, April 7, 2021. She was 83 years old. She was born March 3, 1938, to Karl Strubel and Selma Marie Knott. ey lived in Long Island City, Asto- ria, New York City and later moved to a small rural town in Lindenhurst, formerly Breslau. Eleanor told her family she loved living in the city because she had friends up and down the street, rode her bike, played patsy and marbles. As a young adult, she was an admin- istrative assistant and a buyer at the import office in New York. Eleanor met William Forte and they married on Oct. 3, 1959. They moved into an apartment over a ga- rage in Lindenhurst. Shortly there- after, they moved into a home they built in West Babylon, where they raised three children, Krista, David and Stephen. She enjoyed taking great care of her children, worked hard and al- ways put others first. She enjoyed sewing and made most of her chil- dren's clothing as well as her own. She knitted and provided blankets to others in need. She had many talents, including creating beauti- ful watercolor paintings on canvas that were shown at her wake. She a l s o c re at e d C h r i s t ma s d e c o ra - tions, on which she painted colorful birds, and shared them amongst her friends. Everyone who lived near Eleanor would receive homemade Christmas cookies. She loved to share her reci- pes, as she was an incredible cook. She had many talents and mastered them all! Eleanor enjoyed many friends who lived around the world, some of whom the family spoke to recently and who shared their love and admi- ration for her. eir stories included lifelong friendships lasting over 70 years. Not too many people can top that! e family heard stories of how she helped a woman at Western Suffolk BOCES get a job. This woman said Eleanor was a smart and profession- al woman who helped everyone. She worked hard and — everyone agrees — worked too hard. Her boss stated at his retirement, "I enjoyed working for Eleanor!" If you had time, Eleanor would enjoy telling you stories about his- tory, her family tree, heritage and past wars. Often the stories would go on forever and you were lost in time wondering how the story even start- ed. She would often retell the story the same exact way! Eleanor and William retired in a home they built in Cutchogue and, later in years when their health was changing, they relocated to a retire- ment community in Calverton. Elea- nor enjoyed socializing and partici- pated in book clubs, knitting clubs and was called "The Killer" when she played in bocce ball tourna- ments. She was an active member at St. Peter's Lutheran Church and was always eager to help others, whether she was collecting items for baskets or making pies to sell at the church fair. e family heard from many peo- ple that Eleanor talked endlessly about her seven wonderful grand- children. She was looking forward to her grandson's wedding this sum- mer and many graduations from high school and college. William passed away six years ago and the family envisions seeing them dancing together and enjoying them- selves, perhaps sharing a whiskey sour or a shot of Jack Daniels! Eleanor inspired her family to work hard, not waste a moment and do something for others. The family received friends April 11 at DeFriest-Grattan Funeral Home in Mattituck. Funeral services were held April 12 at St. Peter's Lutheran Church in Greenport, with Pastor Garrett Johnson officiating. Inter- ment followed at Calverton National Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to St. Peter 's Lutheran Church, P.O. Box 242, Greenport, NY 11944. Eleanor Jean Forte Paid notice Ursula Mary Tomaszewski Ursula Mary Tomaszewski (née Bonavich), a longtime resident of Jamesport, died peacefully at Long Is l a n d C o m m u n i t y Ho s p i t a l o n April 11, 2021. Most people knew her by the nickname Bonnie. She was 99. Ur s u l a wa s b o r n i n Qu a k a ke, Pa., on Aug. 16, 1921, to Magdaline (Klink) and John Bonavich, both of Lithuanian ancestry. She was the youngest of four children. Ursula was predeceased by her hu sba n d o f 7 4 yea rs, L e w i s To - maszewski. She was also prede- ceased by her sister, Margaret (Pe- ter) Pappas and two brothers, John Bonavich and Alfonso Bonavich. She is survived by her son, Michael, and her daughter, Bonnie (Donald) Kisiel, both of Shoreham. Also sur- viving her are three grandchildren, Lara (Michael) Asirvadem, Stephen (Kristina) Kisiel and Bryan Kisiel; three great-grandchildren, Lucas, Noah and Juliana Kisiel; and two nephews, Peter Pappas and George (Caroline) Pappas of Pennsylvania. Ursula grew up in the coal min- ing mountains of Pennsylvania. She attended the Quakake Elementary School and graduated from Delano High School in 1939. After working at the Five Point Diner, she joined the Women's Auxiliary Army Corps during World War II. Cpl. Ursula Bonavich was stationed at Kirtland Field in Albuquerque, N.M., where she met Staff Sgt. Lewis Tomasze- wski. They were married in uni- form in the Army base chapel. After the war, Ursula moved to Calverton w ith her husband and daughter to work on the family farm. The couple moved in 1951 to their own farm in Jamesport, where they re- sided for 67 years. Ursula took great pleasure in her work as farmer's wife and home- maker. She ran a U-pick strawberry field as well as raising vegetables and flowers for the small stand in front of their house. Her extensive flower gardens earned her the local nickname of "the flower lady." She also loved to cook and preser ve fruits, vegetables and jams. Even- tually Ursula worked as a reading a i d e a t Aq u e b o g u e E l e m e n t a r y School until her retirement in 1978. In her spare time, she loved to read. Ursula was a devoted member of St. Isidore R.C. Church in Riv- erhead and the Altar Rosar y So- ciety. She was also active in the Riverhead-Jamesport Homemak- e rs, w h e re s h e ma d e nu m e rou s handcrafted items. Ursula's most longstanding commitment was the Ladies Auxiliary of Jamesport Fire Department. She was a member for over 50 years. Known for her strong work ethic and her kind smile, Ur- sula enjoyed hosting large gather- ings of friends and family. She will be missed by all who knew and loved her. Visiting hours will be from 3 to 7 p.m. Friday, April 16, at McLaugh- lin Heppner Funeral Home in Riv- erhead. A Mass of Christian Burial will take place at 9:30 a.m. Saturday, April 17, at St. Isidore R.C. Church in Riverhead, followed by inter- ment at St. John's Cemetery. M e m o r i a l d o n a t i o n s m a y b e made to the Jamesport Fire Depart- ment Ladies Auxiliary. Paid notice Judith T. Terry Former Southold Town Clerk Judith T. Terry died Jan. 31, 2021, a t W h i s p e r W o o d s i n Smithtown, 64 days prior to her husband, George N. Ter- ry. She was 85. A graveside s e r v i c e w i l l take place at W i l l o w H i l l C e m e t e r y i n Southold this summer. D e F r i e s t - G r a t t a n F u n e r a l Home in Southold is serving the family. JUDITH T. TERRY James A. Barker James A. Barker of Laurel died April 11, 2021, at his home. He was 48. DeFriest-Grattan Funeral Home in Mattituck is assisting the family. Czulada services set e family of Joseph W. Czulada Jr. of Riverhead, who died Dec. 21, 2020, will receive visitors from 11 a.m. to noon Saturday, April 17, at St. Isidore R.C. Church in Riverhead. A funeral Mass will take place at noon. Interment will follow at St. Isidore Cemetery. Tuthill-Mangano Funeral Home in Riverhead is assisting the family. www.riverheadnewsreview.com BREAKING NEWS AS IT HAPPENS R I V E R H E A D N E W S R E V I E W. C O M | A P R I L 1 5 , 2 0 2 1 | 1 5 the one. His mission from that point forward was to do whatever he could to make her his wife. He called her his princess. And then his miracle. "Because God gave me the miracle to share a life with this wonderful woman," he said. When they first met, he was drawn to her blue eyes and "gorgeous blonde, curly hair" — even if he even- tually found out she was wearing colored contacts and had dyed her hair. "Truth be told, I loved her no matter what," he said. "at was our saying to each other." He recalled the passion his wife displayed for her students, many of whom she kept in touch with as they grew older. She had thousands of Facebook contacts to keep up with. She would run into former students when out in town, and always remember each one. In recent years during her sickness, even on days where she was feeling tired and unwell, she found the strength to "perk up" when someone reached out in need of something, knowing she needed to provide that hope. Mr. Stromski said his wife "amazed" him. "She loved everyone and all she wanted was to be loved," he said. "You all have shown her that. She was loved and felt it when it counted." Following Monday's Mass, Ms. Stromski was laid to rest at St. Isidore Cemetery. • After her diagnosis in 2016, Ms. Stromski docu- mented her journey with breast cancer through a blog titled "Faith over Fear." She emphasized in her writing how cancer patients never "lose the battle" when they die. She fought not only for more research into the disease, but for greater understanding of the challenge and turmoil a cancer patient faces. She es- chewed the commercialization of companies selling breast cancer awareness products and focused on organizations that committed 100% of proceeds to the cause. "To summarize one's life as a 'lost battle' diminishes the years of living that existed," Ms. Stromski wrote in a July 2019 post, sharing words written by another in a private cancer group. "It dilutes the magic of the soul that walked through the years that they were given here." Ms. Kubetz said that legacy will carry on in the women her sister empowered. She never lost a sense of humor while undergoing treatment, posting videos on TikTok in which her up- beat personality shined through and provided hope to all of her students and fellow community members. Melanie McEvoy of Laurel got to know Ms. Stromski through her work with the North Fork Breast Health Coalition. Ms. McEvoy, a two-time breast cancer survivor and current vice president of the organization, said Ms. Stromski was a source of inspiration and strength. "I'd wake up every morning and look for her posts to help me through the day," she said. Ms. Stromski wrote candidly and openly about her treatment, diet and the 80 to 90 supplements she'd take each day to stay healthy. "She really had a gift and many people going through treatment learned so much from her, includ- ing myself. Even just how to talk about stage 4," Ms. McEvoy said. Ms. McEvoy also said Ms. Stromski helped open her eyes to the "pinkwashing" that takes place every Octo- ber during breast cancer awareness month. "Pink is still my favorite color, but don't just go and buy pink products because they say they [donate] to breast cancer," she said. Because of Ms. Stromski's advocacy, Ms. McEvoy said she was inspired to take up the fight and has lob- bied for more late-stage cancer research on behalf of the nonprofit organization METAvivor in Washington, D.C. "We lost a big voice and that's a void that we have to fill and continue moving forward on," Ms. McEvoy said. "I hope to be a part of that voice." • Ms. Stromski was the News-Review's 2013 Educator of the Year, an honor she earned for advocating for eq- uitable and quality education at a time when the state appeared headed down a path for new high-stakes testing that was highly criticized by educators. In 2012, she lobbied for her district to invest in a reading pro- gram called Reading A-Z Kids that become popular among Riverhead's elementary students. Ms. Stromski's impact in the school district went beyond the students she inspired to read, but to her fellow colleagues and entire community. "She was incredibly dedicated to her family, her stu- dents, the Riverhead Central School District and the Riverhead community and will be greatly missed," in- terim superintendent Christine Tona said. "We can all learn from Keri's example of strength during the most difficult of circumstances." Riverhead Town officials began last ursday's work session by remembering Ms. Stromski as the face of the school district and a warrior who fought valiantly. "Our condolences go out to her family, the River- head School District and the countless children and parents she has touched throughout the years," Super- visor Yvette Aguiar said. Jen Hughes, who teaches first grade at Roanoke Avenue Elementary School, knew Ms. Stromski from their days as classmates at SUNY/Cortland in the 1990s. Ms. Hughes worked as a junior resident assistant during Ms. Stromski's senior year, looking to her for advice when they began student teaching. "I remember her sitting on the floor, cutting out sponge animals and doing all of this work for her stu- dents. She was always entertaining the kids." Ms. Hughes also remembers Ms. Stromski's fearless spirit, as a founding member of the Phi Sigma Sigma sorority on campus and winner of the "Queen of the Roses" pageant. "She didn't do it the normal way," Ms. Hughes said, since Ms. Stromski bypassed the swimsuit competi- tion and instead wore a football uniform. "It was typical Keri, always making a statement," and making others smile, Ms. Hughes said. As a teacher at Aquebogue, Ms. Stromski always fought for her students. "As a colleague, you could never keep up with Keri," Ms. Hughes said. She remembered that on family vacations to Disney World, Ms. Stromski would bring back puppets for her classroom. She also wrote and directed, plays for first- graders, embraced new programs and even learned Spanish to communicate with a growing number of bilingual students. "She did everything she could to reach the kids," Ms. Hughes said. "ey were an extension of her family." • Community members rallied in support of Ms. Stromski April 3 with a "Glass Slipper Parade" along Route 58 to Aquebogue Elementar y School, just three days before she died. Nearly 100 cars formed the caravan from the former Walmart to the elemen- tary school. Some young students also dressed as superheroes in honor of their own superhero, Ms. Stromski. In a Facebook post that day, Ms. Stromski wrote: "Words cannot express the gratitude and love I feel for the Riverhead community. ank you for helping me make today about the children and our Blue Wave family. I love you all and feel your prayers every day. ank you for respecting the space we have taken and are taking to rest and heal." Hundreds attended wake services for Ms. Stromski on Saturday and Sunday, which featured tributes in honor of her spirit : a pair of her pom-poms, photos, mementos, awards, puppets that appeared frequently in her classroom and on TikTok and even a hugging machine constructed by a current kindergarten stu- dent that quickly went viral. In March, the North Fork Breast Health Coalition launched a 10-day raffle to raise money for their Stage IV Research and Grant Fund. Ms. McEvoy said Monday that the raffle raised over $20,000, most of which will be donated directly to Dr. Alison Stopeck's research fund at Stony Brook Univer- sity Cancer Center. "Because of her, we started a Stage 4 fund and be- cause of her, we're a better community," Ms. McEvoy said. "She was just one of those people you cross paths with in your life and you're just so grateful." joew@timesreview.com STROMSKI... CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 GRANT PARPAN PHOTO Pallbearers carry the casket from St. Isidore R.C. Church following Monday morning's funeral Mass. and flowing like we were in the first set or we just are our own worst enemy and we take ourselves out of the game like we did in the third set." For the match, SWR exceeded its mar- gin for error: hitting errors (17), passing errors (eight), service errors (six). A team cannot afford that against a squad like Islip. Not with a powerful hit- ter like Bryant (17 kills). Not with a setter like Haley Bergen (10 assists). Not with a defense led by Jessica Hagihara and Em- ily Vitale. "We are a powerhouse," said Waldvo- gel. Islip's defense was a wall. On a num- ber of occasions, SWR strung together a nice pass, a nice set and a nice hit, only to see the ball somehow returned, often with force. at can be deflating. "It gets really tiring at some point," said Teodoro. Halloran has been one of SWR's top players this season. She was the League VII Defensive Player of the Year as a sophomore in 2019. e girl in the white libero jersey made 11 digs to go with two kills, a service ace and an assist against Islip. It was her first match after one week of quarantining because of a close COVID-19 contact. "at was not even close to being her best," Johnson said. "She picks up every- thing. She's all over the court. She hits out of the back row. She will do anything for us." What was Johnson's reaction to miss- ing out on the playoffs? "We're not going to be in the playoffs, which obviously stinks," she said. "We always want to make playoffs, but at the end of the day, you know, we're just hap- py and lucky that we had a season. So, we've just been trying to keep that men- tality from the beginning. We're lucky to be here; we're grateful to be here. We take every day as a gift and just do what we can. at's fine." bliepa@timesreview.com WILDCATS... CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11 Sheriff K-9 Reis receives new protective vest Page 2 Excluded workers fund to assist undocumented Page 3 SWR soccer team advances after playoff victory Page 11 No tax increase in school budget after state aid Page 13 Thursday, April 15, 2021 $2.00 BY JOE WERKMEISTER AND TARA SMITH STAFF WRITERS To change a person's life for the better requires only a moment of time. Keri Lynn Stromski lived her life by that motto as a kindergarten teacher at Aquebogue Elementary School, where she inspired countless students, and as a fierce advocate for fellow cancer thrivers, an unfore- seen role she accepted to bring hope to those in need as she bravely confronted her own fate with stage 4 breast cancer. Jill Kubetz, Ms. Stromski's sister, said that moment of time, along with compassion and a hug, can make all the difference. "We know this because we hugged the entire Town of Riverhead over the past two days," she said. Speaking at a funeral Mass at St. Isidore R.C. Church in Riverhead Monday morning, Ms. Kubetz remembered her sister, who died April 6 at age 48, as a loving mother who could be heard screaming "Go! Go! Go!" over the sound of splashing water at her children's swim meets and as a teacher who left an indelible mark on young students. "Today, we are here to celebrate Keri," Ms. Kubetz said. "We do so as a family, as a community, to give hon- or to the profound ways in which she touched the lives of those she knew and those she never met." • Ms. Stromski was born Nov. 16, 1972, in Oceanside and grew up in nearby Valley Stream in Nassau County. She attended college at SUNY/Cortland before ultimate- ly settling in Jamesport with her husband, Robert, and their three children, Madison, Morgan and Quinn. "ey were all her hometowns and always would be," Ms. Kubetz said. "Keri brought her light to all of the plac- es she lived and if she loved you, you have a cheerleader for life." Jason Hefter, who described the Stromskis as "like family," spoke for Mr. Stromski at the Mass, sharing words he had prepared. In the remarks, Mr. Stromski shared a memory of the night he first met his future wife, and how the next day he reached out to his mother to tell her he had found Keri Lynn Stromski, 1972-2021 'We are here to celebrate Keri' Beloved teacher became fierce advocate for breast cancer thrivers COURTESY PHOTO Keri Stromski with Stony Brook Medicine staff in March. STROMSKI | PAGE 15 The Riverhead News-Review obit- uary pages were deemed best in the state in NYPA's Better Newspaper Contest this spring.

• Cover