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That has got to be the most British sanction of all time: "Vladimir Putin will no longer be receiving any bejeweled rapiers, nor shall any of his cream be clotted. Any young Russians in need of discipline and love will have to do without flying nannies and chimney sweeps." Yesterday [March 15] Russia announced that they're hitting "Biden, Blinken and other top U.S. officials with sanctions." Oh, that's adorable, they're doing their own sanctions. It's like when you give your kid a bubble lawnmower and they're like, "I'm a world power, too," and you sure are, buddy. You're doing a great job! The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon After more than two years, Costco is dropping its pandemic shopping hours that were reserved just for seniors. Yup, Costco said, "We feel it's once again safe for seniors to be stampeded for toilet paper." The Late Late Show With James Corden New labor department numbers released this morning show that inflation increased nearly eight percent over the past year, the sharpest spike since 1982. ... Inflation is a real problem, and the worst thing about it is that, unlike COVID, it can't get you out of a dinner party. Jimmy Kimmel Live! Lawmakers gathered for a special address from Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, who spoke via video to a joint session of Congress. He got two standing ovations, which was nice. I think he would rather get fighter jets, but the standing ovations were good. It was bipartisan — Republicans and Democrats stood for him — which is almost impossible. It's like getting Kim and Kanye to agree on a daycare situation. Former president Obama revealed yesterday [March 13] that he has contracted COVID-19. So, if anyone was wondering if we can still get it, the answer is, "Yes We Can!" Late Night With Seth Meyers United Airlines announced last week that employees who were placed on unpaid leave for refusing to get vaccinated can return to work later this month. So, don't worry! Your pilot might be unvaccinated, but at least he's also out of practice! Country legend Dolly Parton announced yesterday that she will remove her name from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ballot. But Dolly is not going to like this: They're replacing her on the ballot with Jolene. late laughs sportszone

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