The Milwaukee Post

18 • Milwaukee Post • July 19, 2013 NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD Lead story ■ Priorities: At a June hearing, a Philadelphia judge became so exasperated at defendant Robert Williams' seeming cluelessness about his need to keep his probation appointments that she ordered him to take "etiquette" classes before returning to court. Williams, a rap singer and budding music mogul still under court supervision on gun and drug charges from 2008, cavalierly defended his inability to find time for his probation officer by explaining that he was a busy man, working with seven "artists," with a demanding travel schedule, and uninhibitedly using social media (creating posts that, allegedly, led to threats against the probation officer). (Williams, of course, was accompanied to court by a several-man entourage.) Ironies ■ War endangers war relics: In June, fighting in the Syrian civil war spread to its west, threatening archaeological digs and already recovered artifacts near the ancient city of Hamoukar – which is the site of history's earliest known urban warfare (about 5,500 years ago). ■ The business website Quartz reported in June that a popular consumer item in North Korea's perhaps-improving economy is the refrigerator, made in China and increasingly available as a reward to stellar performers among civil servants and other elites. The appliances, however, cannot reliably store food because the country's electric grid is so frequently offline and are mostly just status symbols. One item Quartz says often gets displayed in the refrigerator: books. ■ Robert Dugan, 47, a full-time patrolman for the Delaware County (Pa.) Park Police, was charged in June with illegally impersonating a police officer. According to authorities in Brookhaven, Pa., Dugan had accosted a woman double-parked outside her home to pressure her into moving the car, but she refused. Dugan allegedly claimed he was an Upland Borough police officer (with authority to write parking citations and make arrests, which he did not actually have). Compelling explanations ■ Lame: (1) Rodger Kelly was arrested in St. George, Utah, in June for rape of a female neighbor, but he told police that he committed the act only to "save" her, since he had discovered her "cold" and unconscious. He had violated her body only "to try and get her temperature up," according to the police report. (2) The low-price air carrier GoAir of New Delhi announced in June that in the future it would hire only females for the cabin crew – because they weigh less than men (and expects eventually to save the equivalent of $4 million annually in fuel based on average weights). ■ In May, former schoolteacher Kathleen Cawthorne, 33, of Rustburg, Va., successfully negotiated a reduction in her 11year sentence for having sex with an underage student. Cawthorne's punishment was set at only four months in prison when she presented the judge with a clinical diagnosis of "hypersexuality," supposedly showing that she had little ability to control her desire to seduce the boy. Perspective ■ Floridians standing their ground: In May, a jury in Tampa decided that Ralph Wald, 70, was not guilty of murdering a 32-year-old man he had shot in the back three times. He said he had caught the man having sex with his wife (successfully claiming that he thought the man was a dangerous intruder in his home). However, Marissa Alexander, 34, of Jacksonville, was sentenced last year to 20 years in prison for "aggravated assault" for merely firing a warning shot during an altercation with her estranged husband. The man, Rico Gray, is a serial domestic abuser and admitted that he was threatening Alexander that night and that she never actually pointed her gun directly at him. However, the judge denied Alexander use of the "stand your ground" defense because she had declined to simply walk away from Gray. Fetishes on parade ■ (1) According to Chicago police, Gerardo Perez, 50, broke away while on a tour in May of the Chicago Animal Care and Control Facility because he had been struck with a sexual attraction. He was discovered minutes later on his hands and knees beside a pit bull, "appearing to have just had sex with the animal," according to a report on WMAQ-TV. (2) Shaun Orris, 41, was charged with disorderly conduct in Waukesha in June after raising a ruckus outside the Montecito Ristorante Lounge, harassing passers=by by loudly expressing his "constitutional right" to have sex with goats. Least competent criminals ■ Not well-thought-out: (1) A 64-year-old man was arrested in Geelong, Australia (near Melbourne), in June after carjacking a 22-year-old woman's vehicle. He was still on-scene when police arrived, as it took him time to load his walker into the car, along with several bags he had nearby when he decided to commandeer the vehicle. (2) A well-dressed, 5-foot-10 man bailed out of an attempted robbery in May of a New York City Bank of America when, after handing a teller his holdup note, the woman panicked, began screaming "Oh my God!" and ran to the other side of the bank, diving under a counter. According to a witness, the robber stood in silence for a few seconds before fleeing. Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL., 33679 or by email to WeirdNews@earthlink.net. HINTS FROM HELOISE BY HELOISE A drive to reduce motion sickness Dear Heloise: Do you have any hints for reducing motion sickness while in the car? We are planning a road trip, and my daughter has an issue with carsickness. I don't want the trip to be completely miserable for her. – Anne in Vermont Oh, motion sickness is dreadful. Here are a few hints to help make the trip a little more enjoyable: ■ Make sure she eats before the trip. A lot of people think not eating will help, but it can make things worse. Just don't overeat, and avoid fatty, spicy and greasy meals. ■ Take crackers or other small snacks, and eat frequently to alleviate nausea. ■ Position your daughter for a smoother ride. Have children sit in the middle of the back seat to reduce movement. ■ Keep her focused on the horizon. Don't let her read. ■ Let cool air blow on her face. Turn the air-conditioner vent toward her, or crack a window. ■ Distract her. Try singing songs, playing games or talking to focus her mind on something else. Watch for the signs of motion sickness, such as loss of appetite, cold sweats or queasiness. If you notice these, pull over for a break. Have her stretch her legs, use the restroom or stop for a quick bite to eat. Take enough time for the symptoms to pass, and then begin the trip again. – Heloise Send a great hint to Heloise, P.O. Box 795000, San Antonio, Texas 78279-5000 or email to heloise@Heloise.com. Answers on Page 23

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