The Milwaukee Post

18 • Milwaukee Post • July 12, 2013 NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD Lead story ■ Community activism: Despite Chicago's recent crisis of gang-related street murders, the Roseland Community Hospital in a tough south-side neighborhood is on the verge of closing because of finances, and community groups have been energetically campaigning to keep it open. Joining civic leaders in the quest is the Black Disciples street gang, whose co-founder Don Acklin begged in June for the hospital to remain open, explaining, "It's bad enough we're out here harming each other." Besides wounded gang members needing emergency care, said Acklin, closing would amount to "genocide" because of all the innocent people exposed to crossfire. Government in action ■ Suspicions confirmed: A warehouse in Landover, Md., maintained by a company working on contract for the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, contained "secret rooms" of furniture and equipment described as "man caves" for company employees. The EPA inspector general announced the discovery in May, and the government confiscated TVs, refrigerators, couches, personal photos, pin-ups, magazines and videos that the contractor's personnel brought in while ostensibly "working" on agency business. ■ Scotland's Parliament was revealed in May to be considering, as part of its Children and Young People Bill, guaranteeing that specific, named persons would be appointed for every Scottish child at birth, charged with overseeing that child's welfare until adulthood. A Daily Telegraph story acknowledged that the bill is "remarkably vague" about the duties and powers of the designated persons and thus it is unclear how the law might affect typical parent-child relationships. ■ Update: "(Supermodels) is the one exception (to U.S. immigration policy) that we all scratch our heads about," said a Brookings Institution policy analyst, speaking to Bloomberg Businessweek in May. Foreign-born sports stars and entertainers are fast-tracked with American work permits under one system, but supermodels were excluded from that and must thus compete (successfully, it turns out) with physicists and nuclear engineers to earn visas among the 65,000 slots available only to "skilled workers with college degrees." As such, around 250 beauties are admitted every year. (The most recent attempt to get supermodels their own visa category was championed in 2005 and 2007 by, appropriately, then-U.S.-Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York.) ■ In Lytle, Texas, in May, just 33 people voted for candidates for three openings on the school board, including the only voter who cast a ballot in District 1. Christina Mercado was the 1-0 winner, but someone else voted for her. Mercado cannot vote for District 1 candidates because she does not live there, and neither does the one candidate who opposed her. However, according to Texas law, Mercado can legally represent District 1 on the school board. Police report ■ In Kobe, Japan, in May, an unemployed, 32-year-old man carried out a minor theft (stealing a wallet from a parked scooter) apparently just to be locked up in the world-famous city. Besides being the home of Kobe beef, it is acclaimed for its French, Chinese and octopus cuisines, and in fact, Kobe's Nagata Ward Precinct is renowned for the special gourmet boxed meals prepared by local bento shops, delivered daily to prisoners, which the thief said was foremost on his mind. ■ Rewarding the breast disguise: An April crime report in San Francisco, noting that a female driver had rammed another car in a parking-space dispute, noted that the victim gave officers little help. The man could not tell officers the model car that hit him, and certainly not a license plate number, but he "was able to give a detailed description of the suspect's cleavage." No arrest was reported. ■ More time needed on the firing range: In May, an Orlando Sentinel columnist demanded a federal investigation into the 2010 police killing of Torey Breedlove in Orlando's Pine Hills neighborhood, noting that killing the unarmed Breedlove somehow required 137 shots, with cops missing on at least 115. The columnist added that the Justice Department is currently investigating a Cleveland, Ohio, case in which local police killed two unarmed men but coincidentally also required 137 shots. (In both cases, the officers were exonerated after local investigators determined the officers believed the suspects were armed.) Recurring themes ■ Least competent criminals: Shaun Paneral was questioned by police in Carlsbad, N.M., in May, on a loud-music complaint and, concerned that he already had an outstanding arrest warrant, gave his name as "Shaun Paul." Paneral thus became the most recent perp to choose his alias badly. "Shaun Paul," whoever he is, is also wanted by police in New Mexico, and Paneral was arrested for the false ID. ■ It's good to be a dog in the first world: The British company Paw Seasons has created a holiday for dogs (surely to appeal to guilt-ridden owners who leave them behind on their own holidays) priced at the equivalent of $73,000, consisting of a private suite for two weeks, with dogfriendly Hollywood movies, trips to the beach, surfing "lessons," spa and grooming treatment (including pedicure) by Harrod's, outfits from Louis Vuitton, Bottega Veneta, and Mulberry, and the piece de resistance – a personal dog house created in the image of the owner's own house. Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL., 33679 or by email to WeirdNews@earthlink.net. HINTS FROM HELOISE BY HELOISE A picture worth returning Dear Heloise: My parents recently lost the memory card for their camera after taking a beautiful vacation. My hint is to write your name and address on a 3-by-5inch card. Take a picture of it. That way, if you lose the memory card, maybe whoever finds it looks on it for a clue to who you are and sends it back. – Kim in Lowell, Mich. A very good hint indeed to hopefully have those vacation memories returned! Why not add an email address so the "finder" can contact you? If the person does send it on, a special thank-you would be in order for the time he or she took. – Heloise Cats in the garden Dear Heloise: In reference to your column about keeping cats out of flower beds: I put moth flakes in mine at times when cats come in, and this makes them stay out. I also sprinkle it in my yard if dogs come in for bathroom use. It doesn't hurt the yard, and the smell leaves in a day or so. You will have to redo if it rains. Hope this helps. – Mary W. in Houston Send a great hint to Heloise, P.O. Box 795000, San Antonio, Texas 78279-5000 or email to heloise@Heloise.com. Answers on Page 23

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