North Bay Woman

12 NORTH BAY WOMAN F A L L | W I N T E R 2 0 2 1 Back to School! Now what? By Pam Cook E very year, back to school time is a transi- tion for kids and parents, but especially with "the baby." When my youngest started kindergarten, I cried. It's a big milestone, and I felt like I needed to reinvent myself. What would I do during the day that had been filled with trips to the park and the zoo, setting up elaborate scenes at home with Lego sets, Little People, Play doh and coloring books. No problem. Guess what I found out? The schools need a ton of help. So, like many parents, I dove right in, helping in the classroom, organizing field trips and class par- ties, and volunteering at fundraising events. Elementary school years are very busy and we all made so many new, wonderful friends. Then my youngest went on to middle school. I again felt the pangs of change. I was missing that time in the classroom, the relation- ships I had built with the teachers, and the chats on the playground with the other parents. But soon, that was replaced with a lot of driving around in the afternoon. Crosstown trips to dance, piano, soccer, volleyball, guitar, making sure water bottles were filled, snacks were packed and change of outfits were ready in the car. My minivan was our second home. I got to see my friends again in high school, in the par- ent section of the bleachers, games, parties, more fund- raisers, and in the audience at dance shows and competitions. My afternoons were filled with logistics. Who needs to go where and when, shopping for a few things, but having 10 hungry kids show up, shopping for 10 hungry kids, and having no one show up. Is there a time when we can all eat dinner together? I was writing newsletters updating the class on fundraisers and events. Driving around turned into driving practice, with me in the passenger seat. Eeek! Then, in an instant, we are sitting at another graduation, laughing and crying, taking photos and sitting with our friends; our wonderful community of parents. But this time, it's "the baby" who's graduating. So this year, back to school, meant dropping my youngest child at college. Whoa, now what? It is an exciting and sad time, full of so many emotions. Our role as a parent is constantly evolving and changing. After a good cry, as we drove away, leaving our child behind to start the next chapter, I reminded myself, this is our job as parents: to raise kind, caring, independent adults. I long for those days on the playground, but I cherish the new memories we are making. We still sit with a puzzle, game or set of Legos now and then, but the conversa- tion has shifted to lofty goals and how to make the world a better place. And, as I look around at those parents I met back in kindergarten, and at the kids in our community, now starting college, I know we are doing just that. n Dropping youngest child at college reminds us of core goal -- to raise kind, independent adults Top to bottom; Pam Cook and her youngest daughter on the Coleman Elementary School playground circa 2008; and in Just Dance Academy performing "Swan Lake" in 2021. – Photos courtesy of Pam Cook

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