Diversity Rules Magazine

I remember almost every single pa ent I took care of that died, by name, and when they died, and how they died. "I remember being in love with somebody, being in a rela onship for a year. We broke up and they died like a year later, of AIDS, and I never knew they were HIV posi ve," he added. Nowadays, Rick (who is white and upper middle class) holds the privilege of a close personal community that has been largely unaffected by the coronavirus. Though many more people have contracted COVID- 19, it is significantly less deadly than untreated HIV, with the CDC repor ng 105 deaths per 100,000 peo- ple since January 2020. Comparing the two, Rick said, "In the late eigh es and early nine es, AIDS was everywhere in my life. It was at work, it was in my personal life, it was on the street. Covid is everywhere, but the people in my life are not dying." Even so, in April, amid the height of infec on and death in New York City, Rick found himself paralysed by fear. With age, he has discovered fear as poten al loss of the life he has created - partnerships, a child, networks - and realising he is not ready to give up those rela onships. Nine months on, perhaps akin to his youth, Rick has worked to overcome his fear through ac on. By en- gaging with people, commi ng to his work, and en- joying the present, he has found the key to overcom- ing fear and the immobiliza on it brings. "I don't want to die of Covid, but I can't spend my life running away from it. I'm a doctor. It's what you do, you take care of people, you do the best you can," he explained, "Or I can hide, and not engage in life, and be afraid of dying. That's the shi that I've made this year." "It doesn't mean that I'm reckless, or that I'm not careful, or though ul," he stressed. Rather, as more informa on about the virus has emerged, par cu- larly regarding transmission and factors for severe ill- ness, Rick has been able to measure risk, giving him a sense of control and safety amid the chaos. "There have been other epidemics in the world, and pandemics," he said, "There have been other gener- a ons that have suffered, and that have had to alter their behavior to move forward. This is our moment to figure that out." Diversity Rules Magazine | June 2021 | 5 Advertise Today! Diversity Rules Magazine is an independent gay press that re- lies on the support of those who support its mission. Advertising in Diversity Rules Magazine is one of the best ways to support independent publications. Additionally, your advertising support will also help help Diversity Rules spread its messge of respect for diversity and help to empower individuals to look inside them- selves for answers about who they are and what their pur- pose is in life. www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

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