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April 25, 2020

The Daily Star - Stay Tuned

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3 The Daily Star, Oneonta, N.Y., Friday, April 24, 2020 By Breanna Henry TV Media I t's supposed to take place on the first Saturday in May, or at least sometime during that month as it has since 1875. The Kentucky Derby has only ever been de- layed once, in 1945, and even World War II could only hold the "Riders Up" and mint juleps back for one month. This year, though, the "Run for the Roses" will take place in September, and organizers are hoping that the coronavirus pandemic will have given way by then, allowing for the safe gather- ing of more than 150,000 at Churchill Downs in Louis- ville, Kentucky. For the sake of mingling millionaires, makers of large fancy hats and burgoo chefs, we hope that it will. It's difficult to determine what is most absurd about this 145-year-old event. Per- haps the names of the four- legged athletes, ranging from "Spend A Buck" to "Foolish Pleasure," and those are only the first two comically fitting names on the winners list. It could be that the whole scene creates such a visible, literal line between the wealthy and the rest of us. In fact, the infield revelers across the way from "Mil- lionaire's Row" had no hope of actually seeing a horse until the addition of Jumbo- tron in 2014, and even still, they often don't bother to actually watch the races, preferring to focus on stiff drinks, barbecue and the oc- casional fist fight; they don't seem to pay much mind to the traditions of elegant dress, private planes and heavy wagers found on the other side of the track, and instead make their own fun with the kinds of parties that those well-off folk don't have the stomach lining to survive. If you don't mind dust in your eyes, mint in your julep, and aren't overly concerned with the amount of horse in your horse race, the Ken- tucky Derby might be the place for you, once people are able to congregate again. It is, at the end of the day, a celebration not only of prestige but of Kentucky it- self, and the event is unlike any other in the sporting world, no matter which side of the track you experience it from. WEDNESDAY 2:00 p.m. (14) NFL Live Live (HD) WRESTLING MONDAY 8:00 p.m. (17) WWE Raw Live (HD) WEDNESDAY 8:00 p.m. (17) WWE NXT Live (HD) FRIDAY 8:00 p.m. (6) (3) WWE SmackDown Live (HD) Oneonta Daily Star, NY: Sports Apr 25, 2020 to May 1, 2020 BASEBALL SUNDAY 6:00 p.m. (14) Baseball Tonight Live FOOTBALL SATURDAY 11:00 a.m. (14) College GameDay Live (HD) 12:00 p.m. (7) (14) Draft NFL Live MONDAY 2:00 p.m. (14) NFL Live Live (HD) TUESDAY 2:00 p.m. (14) NFL Live Live (HD) sportszone Butler Auto 2 x 4 Conan Democratic candidate Pete Buttigieg has been accused of plagiarizing Barack Obama in his campaign speeches. When asked about it, Buttigieg said, "I would never plagiarize a speech, and neither would my wife, Michelle." So that works. A Little Late With Lilly Singh Sexuality has more flavors than Baskin Robbins! Right now, not enough people care about climate change, and, honestly, if even Leonardo DiCaprio can't make us care, then we're doomed. I don't understand how anyone drinks and then doesn't want to dance. That's like if you took Viagra and decided to just watch Netflix without the "chill." The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Taco Bell announced that they are offering every American one free Doritos Loco Taco. Experts are calling it "not what we need during a national toilet paper shortage." The Wimbledon tennis tournament is the next big sporting event that will be canceled. Don't worry, if you still want to hear men and women grunting all day, just listen to the quarantined couple next door. A Dutch museum says that a Vincent Van Gogh painting was stolen. Apparently, the security guard tried stopping the thieves but couldn't get within six feet of them. The movie "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" hit theaters 30 years ago — they all wore masks, ate lots of pizza and were hidden away from society. So, basically, we're all ninja turtles now! The Late Show With Stephen Colbert It turns out Bolton was concerned that Trump did favors for autocratic leaders. Just concerned?! That's it?! That's like your doctor saying, "Alright, your blood pressure is normal. I am concerned about this arrow sticking out of your heart." Folks, I hope you're sitting down, because I have some terrible news: the news. The Late Late Show with James Corden [Trump] tweeted out a Nickelback meme. Well, overnight, Twitter took down the tweet after receiving a copyright complaint — Nickelback vs. Trump! This does show you where Twitter draws the line: they will allow sexism, racism, fake news, but you better show Nickelback some damn respect. Uber is launching a new service that will let users find rides that allow animals. At least when you get into one of these ubers, there's a reason it's covered in hair and smells disgusting. Jimmy Kimmel Live Despite originally saying everyone would be back to work by Easter, [President Trump] announced that he will extend social distancing guidelines through April 30. So, Purell has frozen over. The Center for Disease Control is discussing whether or not to recommend that we all wear masks in public. To be honest, there's something kind of fun about wearing a mask to the store. You're like a superhero whose only power is to buy up all the SpaghettiOs. Late Night With Seth Meyers The New York Post has published a list of dos and don'ts for having sex during the coronavirus pandemic. For example, don't have sex with anyone who went outside to get the New York Post. President Trump announced yesterday that he would extend social distancing guidelines through next month. Said Americans, "This is still the same month?!" According to reports, ridership on the Staten Island ferry has dropped 86% during the coronavirus outbreak. "Why would I even take the risk?" said New Yorkers about going to Staten Island. late laughs Reined in: Like almost everything else, the Kentucky Derby is postponed

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