Diversity Rules Magazine

5 Diversity Rules Magazine June 2018 al patterns which can become habitually toxic if not addressed leaving us with dependencies we may not want. But, It's also a positive song about believing in the power of choice and the knowl- edge in our ability to reclaim con- trol over anything we no longer want in our lives. Replay has a very 'now' time- relevant theme which talks about cyber love and the potential harm social media can have in a relationship. JRK: Many times people seek empowerment and validation in the approval of others, which can be very damaging, instead of looking within and loving themselves. Based on your ex- perience, how important is it that we love ourselves before loving someone else? How can doing so empower individuals to become the person they were meant to be? RS: I had to think about that question… And so, I will say that we all want to feel loved, we are human and approval is a sign of love as we read it. at's why we seek it, I believe. It can be damaging sometimes when we don't feel loved or when we are disapproved of. Per- sonally, I found my greatest strength came from find- ing that I had the ability to love regardless of whether I was loved in return or whether I was approved of. By doing that… my ability to love became what I loved about myself most and so I learned to Love myself by being able to love others for who they were. Simply. Love teaches love and vice versa. at's how it worked out for me. JRK: You voluntarily underwent reparative therapy to cure your "gay." What compelled you to do this? What was the experience like? At what point did you realize the therapy was merely damaging your self-esteem? RS: I get asked a lot about my reparative therapy ex- perience and I realize the reason I get asked is that we are still subjected to it. I wrote a book about my experi- ence titled e Memoirs of Angel King by Raph Solo for anyone who wants to read in depth about it, the book is available on Amazon and iBooks and other on- line outlets. I was failing at relationships and I thought maybe God wanted me to go straight and that was why I was not finding love. It was a shot in the dark. In retrospect, I asked how could I have had a successful relationship with anyone if I didn't have a good rela- tionship with myself. I am grateful for my experience with reparative therapy as it cleared a lot of psychological ob- stacles that were a result of my upbringing. Power is knowledge and now I know. I realized six months into reparative therapy that it was not going to work for me. It was the second time I had tried to cure my gay if you want to put it like that. e first time was a five year period of celibacy which I imposed on myself in my early twenties. In the end, the same result, I was gay. I accepted it and I learned I wasn't a bad person for wanting to love another man. Simple. JRK: What advice would you give to a young person struggling with their homo- sexuality? RS: I can't answer that without touching on the topic of God which I feel a lot of gay people are brought up to feel they have no right to believe in because of their sexuality. I personally believe in God, a higher being, a universal energy, Love or whatever people want to call it. I was not able to deny my faith and I also was not able to deny I am gay. I thought I couldn't have the word Gay and God in the same sentence and that was my battle. I am thankful to have found a way to make it work for me by believing God is Love and He loves me just the way I am and He wants me to be happy. Advice - Find a place where you feel comfortable in your heart with what you believe to be true for you and as long as you are not inflicting pain and causing harm then you are a person who is loved and blessed and you want the freedom to express your love. Simple. I hope these words can be of some use to anyone who is strug- gling. It is a horrible feeling to feel that your nature and existence is wrong. Love yourself. JRK: Inspiration is the fire that propels people for- ward to fulfill their dreams and aspirations, and it is the fuel for empowering our personal greatness. What inspires you? RS: I am inspired to be myself. I am not deluded by Solo - Con't on page 6

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