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4D Daily News – Wednesday, October 24, 2012 On having it all: Moms still weighing costs of balancing meaningful careers and happy homes By Raquel Rutledge Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (MCT) Alicia Moore never imagined she'd be sitting behind a desk at the Medical College of Wis- consin with her name on the office door. Odds were against her. years. "We have been sold a bill of goods that there clear they would not raise her baby, Moore was- n't certain she would even finish high school. But she did. She got up every weekday Pregnant at 14, with parents who made it morning at 5:30, walked her son around the cor- ner to day care and hopped the Chapter 220 school.When she graduated from high school, she decided on Marquette University. Her hike took her through graduation, to a job at United Way, up through a master's degree in management from Cardinal Stritch University and to her desk as diversity coordinator at the Medical College. on her own. She did it all while raising two more children, lenge. Though they might not have been teen moms, they know that balancing kids and a career is, at best, an 18-year-long, high stakes tightrope walk. Though many have supportive spouses, "I don't think I'm extraordinary," the 41-year- old Moore said. "There are two parts to my life: my kids and my career, in that order." Working mothers everywhere know the chal- Marissa Mayer, Yahoo's new CEO, adjusts to motherhood while trying to turn around a $14 billion company. Mayer told Fortune magazine in July that "my maternity leave will be a few weeks long, and I will work throughout it." Her son was born earlier this month. grandma on demand or salaries that afford them live-in nannies or personal chefs, trade- offs remain. Neither hope nor prayer can put a woman at her daughter's spelling bee and the company board meeting when both begin at 4 p.m. She can sneak in late to one. She can try to Skype or FaceTime. Or she can send someone in her place. 50th birthday, women still typically earn 80 per- cent of what men do working in the same indus- tries, according the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statis- tics' latest numbers. Last year, nearly 5,800 women filed preg- nancy discrimination complaints with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and state and local agencies, up from fewer than 4,000 in 1997. And while women now account for 47 per- cent of all employed people, fewer than 8 per- cent of top earners in Fortune 500 companies are women, according to a December report by Catalyst, an international nonprofit that con- ducts research on women in leadership posi- tions. Something will be sacrificed. Despite the Equal Pay Act approaching its housework, cooking, lawn care, or financial and other household management," according to an American Time Use Survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics released in June. Imbalance prevails Jennifer Walton, a 41-year-old mom of three income families will depend on the male to stay in the workforce when deciding who will spend more time at home with children, said Lynne Casper, a sociologist with the University of Southern California and former health scientist at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Casper's students tend to think the sexes are Such statistics make it more likely duel from Kohler, feels the disparity.Walton works 40 to 45 hours a week in the information technolo- gy world. Though she works from home, she needs to be logged into her computer and ready to take calls or join meetings at 7 a.m. Her husband works 50 hours a week as a project manager at an engineering firm. Their children: 5, 2 and 9 months old. "Each day feels like I'm sprinting a marathon show Walton's experience is not unique. Working moms are racing around trying to want. Just do it,'"Walton said. Studies from the Pew Center for Research do it all.When surveyed about their time, 40 per- cent of working moms said they always feel rushed. That compares with 26 percent of moms who stay at home, and tops working dads, of whom just 25 percent said they always feel rushed, according to the 2010 report. Carol Michalski decided early she wanted no fairly equal on most fronts. "I ask them who sends birthday cards, their mom or their dad?" Casper says. "It's the moms. Women are still taught that we are the caretak- ers." And while men are doing more cooking and cleaning, their contribution to household chores still lags. On an average day, for example, 83 percent of women and 65 percent of men "spent some time doing household activities such as much more than other men she hears about.He changes diapers, takes out the trash and some- times makes their daughter's lunch. But even then, he might tap her for guidance. He recently asked what he should pack their daughter to drink at school, for example. "I'm thinking 'As long as you're not serving her up antifreeze, who cares? Do what you but I never actually reach the finish line — and there's nobody on the sidelines handing me cups of water, either,"Walton said. "The biggest challenge for me is getting my husband to pick up the slack and for me not to be bitter toward him for what seems to me to be a rather large imbalance between our responsibilities." Walton is thankful that her husband does part of that lifestyle. Now 60, Michalski was in her teens in the 1960s when the societal norms started to shift. The birth control pill had come on the market have to project an image that you can do it all," Michalski said. "So say what you need to say and if you can do it, great. But, the point is, there is a price. If it's time you don't get to bond with your baby, . . . I'm not putting a value judgment on it.We all have our own values.We all have to decide what price we are willing to pay." Alicia Moore — the teen mom-turned-Med- ical College diversity coordinator — has consid- ered the costs to her and her children.Last year, as she worked on her master's degree, her 8- year-old daughter had to drop out of Girl Scouts. And every weekday morning when she drops the children at their before-school day care and her son, now in first grade, stands at the door waving goodbye, Moore admitted, "It hurts. "A lot of women may look at me and be like "There are some businesses where you 'Wow, you kept your kids up till 10 o'clock so you could get a master's degree. Some people might look down their noses at that a little bit.But I think the trade off on the other side is so much more beneficial to my children. "Dec. 15, my kids are going to be sitting at is no price to pay, no cost.That is totally untrue," she said. "Young women are still getting that message that you can have it all, and they are going down in flames. And then they blame themselves." Weighing the costs Working mothers will be closely watching as social life is a joke. She seldom goes on dates. A set schedule is her savior. Spontaneity like a swear word. "It makes me sad a little because obviously I'm human, I'd like to have companionship beyond my girlfriends....I did have those dreams of being married, but now I've sort of transferred those to my daughter." It's not just women who are seeking a more balanced lifestyle, said Anne-Marie Slaughter, a former director of policy planning with the U.S. State Department. Slaughter's recent essay in The Atlantic — and by 1965 more than 6 million American women were deciding independently whether or when to have children.Michalski and her friends at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee were hit with the message from movies, magazines, and music as well as from professors and authors: Women didn't have to get married. They didn't have to have children. They could fashion their lives however they wanted. They could have careers, travel, pursue doctoral degrees. "I knew I wanted a career," Michalski said. "I made the choice not to have children. I knew I could not balance the two to my satisfaction." Michalski is a psychotherapist and life coach and has been counseling women for about 30 the Bradley Center, and they're going to see their mom get a master's degree. And they see their mom get up and go to work every day, and that's going to make them better people." As for the personal costs, Moore says her "Why Women Still Can't Have it All" — set off a slurry of discussions about the struggles women face pursuing fulfilling careers while meeting the needs of a family. Slaughter said she's heard from scores of men following her story, complaining that they don't "have it all," either, contrary to common perception. They miss out on baby's first steps and baseball games, piano recitals and parent- teacher conferences. They are snubbed by bosses and not taken seriously for staying home with a sick child. and women," Slaughter said. Even so, women are affected disproportion- "The discussion has to be framed for men Most Popular College Majors Thousands of high schoolers will be gradu- ating in a few weeks and many will be going on to college in the fall, a decision that may have been difficult to make. When pondering their futures, high school- ers may wonder whether college is necessary and a smart choice for success. Although every student is different and there are sce- narios that can affect anyone's future, the decision to attend college is generally benefi- cial. It often opens up doors and opportunities in the workplace that a high school diploma alone cannot. Here are some things to consid- er: * Ours is a global economy with many job applicants being pooled from all over the world. A higher education becomes a necessi- ty rather than a luxury. * College may open up opportunities for internships, which offer hands-on experience in particular fields. * College can help develop social skills that are a benefit in and out of the workplace. * Generally college graduates earn higher salaries than those who only have a high school diploma. When students go on to college, there are some majors that prove more popular than oth- ers. But the most popular makors don't always ensure the best-paying or most rewarding jobs. According to CareerBuilder.com, here are the more popular college majors and what they generally pay in salary. * Biology: A biology degree is often the first step in a career in medicine. Biologists may specialize in biochemistry and pharmaceuti- cals, which may offer careers that pay a little more. Biology majors can expect to earn between $39,000 to $45,000. * Business Administration:These graduates are often in the right path for careers in real estate and infrastructure of big companies. These grads often go on to get MBAs and eventually become executives, some even CEOs. Starting salaries are among the more lucrative at around $57,000. * Communications: These majors are often in competition with English majors for the same jobs, which can include interpreting See MOMS, page 5D visual and verbal messages, advertising, jour- nalism, public relations, and speech writing. Salaries may start around $31,000. * Criminal Justice: These graduates have a number of options at their disposal, but tend to gravitate to law enforcement. Government jobs can be stable and lucrative, and a good option for criminal justice majors. Starting salaries average about $38,000. * Elementary education: Education is one of the few careers that continues to grow and provide good options for applicants. Although good teachers are an asset to future students and workers, a teacher earns the lowest start- ing salary of the most popular majors, averag- ing just $29,500. * Nursing:Nursing is one of the largest industries inside of the health care niche and continues to add workers. Nurses have a wide range of options in jobs. Salaries begin around $41,000. * Psychology: This is the second most popu- lar major, usually for students who are unsure as to where they want to go in college. Psy- chology students often combine their major with others to have a specific concentration, such as adolescent counseling or teaching. Starting salaries are around $46,000. College can unlock doors in the career world. Depending on what students want to earn after graduation, college majors should be based on interests and earning potential.