Diversity Rules Magazine

20 Diversity Rules Magazine March 2017 Robert Kingett is a gay blind journalist who is the Author of Off the Grid, Living Blindly without the in- ternet. He ac- tively contrib- utes to blogs, magazines, and newspapers, alongside speaking about such things as video game accessibility. He has received the Professional speaker's workshop award and has been featured on NPR for his advocacy Many things are ironic in my life. Situational irony is smacking me in the face as I listen to George sitting across from me babbling about his love of oil and cars. I can't stop tuning him out and thinking that I told myself, many times over, that I'd never lose all of my vision. I don't know what he's doing here because he said he would never date a bookworm. I'm in shock because he's been fine with it up until now. en again, every stance he has taken or opinion he has spewed has been the polar opposite of what he told me this morn- ing. I wonder if his name is even George. My profile is splattered with sentences about how many audio books I consume on a weekly basis and my love of sentences, words, and publishing. I told George that I love books when he first messaged me on the website. He said, as I am sure he tells every- one, even his unknowing friends, that it's definitely no problem because he's open minded. I bet he's a trump supporter even though he's black. "So guess what?" he rambles, a word which here means, fires off without any regard to the other per- son's thoughts or feelings about the presidential elec- tion, a topic he was just spitting about. "Guess what! I haven't read a book in over ten years!" "Really?" I ask, in utter awe, a phrase which here means completely proud to be anyone other than this forty- year-old overachiever. "Yeah!" he cheers, "I feel great! I don't have any bias be- cause of my choice, you know? Reading is for the [peo- ple who just want portable ways to be brainwashed." I stare at the spot where his booming voice is rock- eting from. Even though I can't see any more I can tell a few things. He's spitting as he talks. I feel small droplets pelting me in the face every time he utters a vowel. He's shoveling chicken into his mouth. I can smell the hot sauce as it smacks my face. He loves to talk about himself. And, lastly, he can't keep one detail about himself consistent. I wonder if he even read my words or if he just guessed my sentences. I decide to try to reason with him. "I know you don't like to read," I begin, "but, I have to wonder, did you even read my profile, did you even look at the messages you were sending me on the dat- ing site?" "Oh! ose?" he snorts. is time carrot flavored spit peppers my face. My stomach churns. "well, see, I thought you weren't serious about any of that. I thought you were writing them journalisms because you want- ed to weed out all of the stupid people who like to be brainwashed by words on a page or a screen. Now, me, I'm a free thinker. I haven't been brainwashed at all. Hell, I don't even know what the word conspiracy means, for example. Who makes up these definitions anyway? e media and books tell us how we should think but they don't help us think. You feel me?" I stare in bewilderment, a word which here means, ea- ger to brainwash him with the definition of the word stupid instead. "But, see… that's just paranoid thinking. People read for all kinds of different reasons. To be entertained. To be informed. To explore different worlds. To learn something new about an old event. ere's more than one kind of book and there's more than one kind of writing." I can feel his eyes staring at me with con- fusion. He seems like he's having trouble processing what I just said. "I don't get why people read. I don't get why people Situational Irony By Robert Kingett

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