Diversity Rules Magazine

Diversity Rules Magazine about lesbians & straight men. Although we have similarities in opinion, it's also refresh- ing to hear someone else's perspective when we differ, because although we are categorized into a community, we all have our own experi- ences, opinions and biases based on our jour- neys through life. That being said, it's great to have contrast and comparison and we all can learn from each other, as well as teach and re- late to our various audiences as well. JRK: You both did an article on your relation- ships with straight men. Do you find it easier to relate to straight men and why? In the ar- ticle, Ruthie was quoted saying "the guys were excited when they found out about my sexual- ity. It was a novelty for them; they'd say that it's cool to try and pick up girls with another girl. They were giggly about it." Why do you think that's the case? AD: Oh hell, it's because of porn! The prob- lem really isn't that guys find two women to- gether hot; it's that at some point in a porn scene with two women, a man inevitably joins the action. I've had to explain more times than I can count that in real life we're not all waiting experienced sharing opinions on picking up girls with women. That is usually reserved for guy to guy talk. I think they want an inside look into our minds. In a way, I think they believe it will help them be more effective when speak- ing with other women. And I hate to say it, but they are also intrigued by a woman being with a woman. Typical... lol. to be an uneasy relationship between gay men and lesbians. Why do you think that is the case? JRK: In the queer community, there seems AD: I think it's the same old thing that keeps any group from getting to know one another: fear. I mean, I suppose you could also argue that lesbians and gay men have absolutely noth- ing in common. We certainly aren't attracted to the same people, after all! But I don't re- ally buy that thinking. I'm more into the "we're all queer" approach. We've broken the rules about what boys and girls are supposed to do, we've all been marginalized, and maybe even threatened or hurt because we don't conform to society's expectations around sexuality and gender, etc. I like to think that we're brothers and sisters in the fight, and like siblings, we can really give one another a lot of crap. But sadly, I think it goes beyond this for a lot of us – and maybe it's exactly because we've experienced so much pain around our sexual orientation. We're wary of other people and we're most comfortable in a tribe that we can totally relate to. That's human nature too. It's just not going to help anyone to stay isolated forever, though. Photo Credit: Rubex Photography forthe pizza guy to show up, if you know what I mean... OK, so more seriously, I don't think that it's necessarily easier or harder to relate to straight men. If your heart is at all open, you get to the idea that people are people pretty quickly. Sometimes though it takes a minute to get past stereotypes or habitual ways of see- ing things – and that goes both ways. This is something I really appreciate about getting older, you just don't get as caught up in pre- conceived ideas. RA: I laugh about this a lot. Men turn into lit- tle giggly girls when this is the case. I think one of the main reasons is because they've never RA: I didn't really notice an uneasy relation- ship between gay men and lesbians. Is this a new issue? I have however noticed in the past an uneasy relationship with lesbians and bisex- uals. I've always thought it to be strange, since yes, we're all in the same boat. I guess that is a whole other issue to be discussed. As far as gay men and lesbians ever having issues? I would just call it ignorance. Whatever the case may be. If not, enlighten me. JRK: How can we overcome this wedge be- tween gay men and lesbians? Do you see a common denominator(s) as the reason the wedge exists and how do we address that divide and bridge it? (Abby and Ruthie con't on page 7) Five

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