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make philanthropy a family affair. Crafting a personal approach to giving and simply handing heirs a family foundation to administer isn't enough these days. Goldseker explains, "It isn't possible just to bring those individuals into the status quo. [Heirs] bring their own ideas and visions to the table." Long before they are old enough to understand just how wealthy their family is or what philanthropy involves, children or grandchildren can develop an understanding of their privileged situation by becoming engaged in volun- teer work, through a school, a religious organization, or some kind of entity alongside their parents. "A grandparent or parent can say they'll donate money that's equivalent to the amount of time they put in, too," says Melissa Berman, president and CEO of New York– based Rockefeller Phil anthropy Advisors, who notes that family vacations or extended family reunions can also include a volunteer initiative that all family members can share: a park cleanup, perhaps, or, as children get older, a Habitat for Hu m anity building project. B ut introducing chil- dren to the concept and reality of fam- ily philanthropy at a very young age doesn't mean they'll follow where their elders lead as they get older. "It's important to be open with heirs about what is coming down the pike," says Brian Wodar, a senior vice president and director of wealth management research at AllianceBernstein. "If parents aren't willing to go beyond a certain area when it comes to making grants, then they should make that clear to their children and grandchildren. If they don't want to be flexible in terms of how that wealth is spent, and they still want to have the next generations involved, they have to find some kind of compromise." Bridgespan's Ditkoff explains that since the first generation tends to be the one that made the wealth, "they feel that they earned it, and it's theirs to give away in whatever way they choose." Sometimes, there are gulfs that can't be bridged. Perhaps one family member is an evangelical Christian and can't support the giving priorities of his parents and siblings; perhaps one part of a traditionally Republican family drifts leftward and can't con- done giving money to causes that run counter to his new opinions. "To say that family philanthropy is a panacea that can bridge all gaps is a fallacy," says Karoff. "A baby won't fix a bad marriage; philanthropy won't make a dysfunctional family functional once more." Gillian Howell, the national Philanthropic Solutions group executive at US Trust, says it's best to start preparing both sides to make compromises as early as possible. "One of the most memorable events I witnessed involved a wealthy family, who began an annual series of New England vacation weekends focused on philanthropy by asking the young- est members of the family the question of how they would like to change the world," she recalls. The patriarch and matriarch were so moved by what they heard that they were very open to the idea of changing the governance and even ultimately diluting or reshap- ing the mission of the foundation they had created in order to incor- porate their young heirs' insights and vision. While parents and grandpar- ents may fear that large gaps exist between the generations—and underestimate the extent to which they need to compromise to fully engage their heirs—when push comes to shove, there's far more alignment than family elders may assume. A 2013 Merrill Lynch sur- vey showed that 73 percent of the "millennial" generation (those aged roughly between 18 and 35) had values similar to their parents, even though they might express those values differently. "That ref lects the reality that val- ues are shaped by what people are exposed to; that's what children model and internalize and express later in life," says Michael Liersch, Merrill Lynch's head of behavioral finance. A growing number of younger donors plan on "giving while living"—an attitude that often separates wealth creators from their heirs. That's the case for Howard Buffett and his foundation, which was seeded with gifts from his parents and in recent years has been supplemented by significantly larger donations of Berkshire Hathaway stock. Buffett's philanthropic focus is worldwide food and water security and conf lict mitigation, and by mid March, he says, he'll have visited every single African nation to understand food security issues and search for innovative agricultural projects to sup- port. "I want to transfer the knowledge and sense of commitment to my children," which includes his wife's four daughters, whom Buffett has helped PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF ERIC CROWLEY "I KNOW THAT IT'S IMPORTANT FOR THE NEXT GENER ATION to challenge me, ask me tough questions."—Howard Buffett One of The Howard G. Buffett Foundation's initiatives is to assist Afghan farmers and improve agro- business in the impoverished country. Here, Howard W. and Howard G. Buffet in Afghanistan. 110 BOSTONCOMMON-MAGAZINE.COM 108-111_BC_F_Philanthropy_Spring14.indd 110 2/10/14 12:01 PM