Diversity Rules Magazine

on his last album. I decided to keep it for myself though, and I didn't feel like changing pronouns. It's 2020, ya know? It's kind of crazy, because WAP came out like a week a er we shot the video - had WAP come out before the video shoot, I'm not sure I ever would have re- leased "Hokie Pokie". I felt slighted when it came out, because everything just kind of called it "gay WAP" - I was fully aware that would happen, but s ll it sucks to be reduced to a parody ar st when I'm actually incredibly crea ve and do not need to u lize sa rical devices to get a en on. JRK: Your latest track is "Give a F*ck." What is the new track about and how does it compare with "Hokie Pokie?" JD: Both songs say the same thing, more or less. If you want my love, here are my condi ons. Give a Fuck is about commitment, though. I'm not saying I'm a puritan (I specifically say i am not in the lyrics). I've had all sorts of sex in my life: nine mes out of ten - random sex ain't for me. I'm a prude, by gay standards. And i like that. I have a moral opposi on to sharing my energy with people I do not have a connec on with. So "Give a Fuck" is much more me than "Hokie Pokie." I'm also just so proud of "Give a Fuck" as a piece - there's nothing wrong with it. JRK: Growing up in a suburb outside of Bal more, MD, you stated you were bullied. Can you tell us how you were bullied, and how it impacted you? How has the bullying made you grow as the unique individual you are? JD: The first me I was called gay, I was 8 years old. This one other boy implied that I liked anal sex. At this point, I was completely unaware of sex. That year was really just an avalanche of bullying that- con nued throughout the rest of my schooling. In middle school, I contemplated killing my self - and that wasn't because I hated me. I just wanted to be le alone. I couldn't stop being my extra self - and I didn't want to. I just wanted peace. I s ll want peace. My childhood led to decades of confusion. Trying to assimilate, to fit. The drinking started at 17 - black- outs from the start. I took on characteris cs of the kids that bullied me, they were normal a er all. Idea on, addic on, mania, and depression took precedent in my 20s... but here i am. I've worked re- ally hard the past few years on myself, and I finally quit the booze - which was my crutch, big me. I don't think any of this makes me unique. We all have our own version of trauma. What makes me unique is that I am healing. I am the best I've ever been. All of those cuts are just scars now. Faint scars. I have no more me for the pity party. JRK: You audi oned on the "X-Factor," and it did not turn out all that well, since you have described it as "the most degrading and humilia ng experience" of your life? Can you tell us a bit about that, and how did you take that rejec on to empower yourself to succeed? JD: It's funny. It was 2011. Big year for self accep- tance anthems . You had "Firework," "Born this Way," "We r Who We r," "Raise Your Glass"... the list goes on. Now - here I am standing on the stage in front of 4000 people being called "strange" and transgender by power players in this industry who are profi ng off of said self acceptance songs. They had nothing to say about my talent. Their only comments were about my person. I was no stranger to rejec on. I'd never played a lead in my high school shows - i was even cut from shows, I didn't get into any colleges the first me I audi- oned, they didn't like me very much in college once I got into one... but this experience was something else altogether. It was hateful. I think it's important to note, this was a different me. Reality tv wasn't woke. They didn't have gay contestants, unless it was for a joke. I was just a joke to them. Duff - Con't on page 12 Diversity Rules Magazine | Dec 2020 | 5

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